This Person I don't want to push away because of family and confusion.

Former Member

Update:

PokerFaceDD wrote: »

:nervous: :nervous: :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:

awwww maaan. I just accused her indirectly of trying to have an affair with my dad..... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo WTF WA I THINKING.!!!..

WHAT DO I DO? AM I SCREWED NOW? I DON'T KNOW IF SHE TOOK IT WELL, WE JUST ENDED THE CONVERSATION RIGHT AFTER THAT..... OHHH MAN... WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS THINK??

Is there any way to fix it? Is it too late to apoligize? This was earlier today.

TL;DR (Summary):
Would confronting an older girl, who I've met through my dad, about how she feels about me push her away? Should this situation just be treated as an act of genuine unselfishness from an amazingly caring person?


Summary of concerns:
I feel as if I don't confront her I wouldn't be able to escalate the relationship (if she feels any emotional connection) but if I do, than I risk embarrassing myself to my family, to her, and possibly sever ties between us and maybe between her and my Dad (if there is one).




Here are the details:

I've been talking to this person via e-mail and cell phone for a few months now and I'm staring to really like but some things are in the way of really opening up to her. I really like her since she has been there for me during my lowest points in life and has consistently encouraged me to change. She has basically helped completely change my life around from nothing to something. I was a drop out drug addict but thanks to her support, I was able to get back in school and quit the habit. This was all via phone and e-mails. We've only met face to face twice. Second, after almost a year, was for something school related and I didn't even recognize her (she had asked one of her friends to tutor me and she happened to come along and I thought she was her friends mom).

The thing is, the relationship seems more like a teacher-student relationship where I am the student and she is the teacher. She literally is a teacher too (a TA). I also met her through MY DAD, who was only trying to knock some sense into me about how valuable an education is by having this girl convince me, but I ended up really liking this girl. The age difference is like 5-7 years. Now I don't know if my family knows that I like this girl, but she has been the topic of their dinner conversations (where I would pretend to not pay attention to). I haven't talked to any of my family about it only because I'm too embarrassed to confront anyone about it (my family are assholes).

Basically, I like this girl and I hope that she has supported me because of genuine interest in me. But maybe shes just really nice and just didn't want to see anyone screw up in life and she really doesn't feel an emotional connection. Maybe my dad planned the whole thing and is paying her to keep me on track into finishing my degree or maybe she just really likes my dad and is trying to get on his good side for something out of him. Well it worked and now I'm back on track and I am really grateful either way.

But now, I'm not sure what the best course of action is. I am planning to call her and confront her about the state of the relationship. I was gonna straight up ask what it is that she was looking for in return for helping me so much. What is she getting out of it? How can anyone be so unselfish? I feel as if I don't confront her I wouldn't be able to escalate the relationship (if she feels any emotional connection) but if I do, than I risk embarrassing myself to my family, to her, and possibly sever ties between us and maybe between her and my Dad (if there is one).