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I think I'm being bullied by my sister, but I don't know what to do
Hi, I've been having trouble with my sister for a long time. When we were younger it was really bad, got better, but now it's gotten worse again. She isn't necessarily nice to many people but kisses up to my mom a lot. I've talked to my mom and dad about it, but their solution is to just "let her be her". It took me a while to realize it, but she definitely bullies me. She can be fine one moment, and then the next say something really rude to me. She constantly eggs me on, and I'm pretty much a doormat so I let her. My mom said that I just had to grow thicker skin and not let it bug me as much, but I don't really know how to. I'm cyber-schooled and had to transfer out of my previous school due to mental health and self-harm issues. Since then I've pretty much lost contact with any of my old friends so I can't even talk to them about it. It's not even really what she says, it's how she says it. It's always really snarky and snide, and makes me feel terrible. Even though my mom tells me to stand-up for myself, I can't really tell the difference between stooping down to her level, or standing-up for myself. She's a lot better with smart remarks than I am, and even when I try to say something back, I just end up feeling worse than I did before. Specifically tonight, she was shining a flashlight in my face because she was drawing something, and I was trying to work on my graduation project (I'm 17 and she is too, but she's 8 mos. younger). I asked her to turn the flashlight off since there was already a light on, but she refused and laughed at me like I was the one in the wrong. After a short argument, I just went up in my room to work rather than argue anymore. Every time though I can hear her making fun of me downstairs and I'm so done with it. It just makes me upset and I end up feeling like I did something wrong. My mom even asked me if "I was done sulking yet". To me I left the argument because I thought I "was being the bigger person" like you're supposed to and walking away rather than continue to argue, but to them I'm having a tantrum and going off to my room. I have autism, so I don't know if I'm really the one doing something wrong, and I should just suck it up or not. I've had problems with self-harm before, and I was doing really well for almost a year, but tonight I had a relapse. I've had a problem I haven't been suicidal (as in actually planning on doing something) but every time something like this happens the only thing I want to do is die. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I don't know how to stop it. It really gets to me and I'm getting so sick of constantly feeling like crap every time I have the misfortune of talking to her (and that is unfortunately daily). Any advice or suggestions are welcome, I just really need some outside advice because I literally have no one to talk to about it.