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Hallucinations and Anxiety

Lately I haven't been well. I've been talking to Simon and his group a lot. There are about twenty of them. The ground randomly starts shaking a lot. And the ceiling tends to start to melt into the ground. They have been making bad things happen to me a lot lately. They have also been pinching me when I say or do something they don't want me to. I'm getting really annoyed. My worlds have been colliding into one. Everything feels so fake. I have no idea how to deal with it. It feels like one big dream. Or nightmare depending on the day. They've trapped me in a dungeon and are pretending to be someone I care about. Let's call him Bob. Bob is an entity that I fell in love with. They've been torturing me while pretending to be him.

I've also been having a hard time paying attention and being out in public. I have really bad anxiety. Because of my anxiety I tend to not be able to stay out in public for long because a lot of things trigger me. I end up in the bathroom feeling sick to my stomach because of this. Because of this I go to a school where I only have to go two days a week for about two hours each day. I can't even think right anymore because everything feels so fake and because of my anxiety. All of my friends have plans for when they leave high school and I have no idea what to do. I can't even leave my house most of the time. What should I do? I see a psychiatrist and a therapist but we are all at cross roads because I'm med resistant. We were thinking of trying more experimental therapies like equestrian and stuff.

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Hey Novocaine

    This sounds really difficuly and scary. Sorry youre going through such a hard time:( im glad youre getting some sort of help. Experimental therapies sounds good. I hope youre taking good care of yourself aswell and doing things you enjoy and doing small things that could make you feel better like nice relaxing bath.

    Mindfullness and grounding technics can be really helpful. In times where i felt disassociated i would be vaguely suggested to stay midful and present in the here and now. Which can help your concentration aswell. Like even picking up something around you & noticing how that feels & what is around you helps to be less in a dream state of mind. Loking at everything in details & concetrating on your breathing. I know its quite hard to rememeber to do in times of high anxiety but it doesnt need to just be when you get to that point. Can be any time of the day just to help you feel better and get in rountine of doing it & remembering

    Its also okay to not know what you want to do after school. Even people who seem to know what they want - end up not wanting it and alll can take some time to know and feel better and that is okay too, youre on your own lil journey. But there is always hope

    Take care
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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