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So angry!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
in Help Desk
Bullshit, absolute bullshit!! :crying:

@Mike you ignored me the whole chat. I wanted to continue my conversation with you on gender identity because when we last spoke about it we got through a lot. Yes, chat was busy but i was trying to get your attention for over an hour!!! - it has really hurt me because i honestly feel that i went to chat desperate to chat about it and instead it was like talking to a brick wall and yes, i was talking to other users but i was only doing that because they were getting ignored too. :banghead::no::grump:

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Were all listening now if you wanna speak about it!

    Sorry you felt ignored but no one ever intentionally sees a messages and thinks "yep im gunna purposly ignore that" just too many conversations and other users can help you too.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Were all listening now if you wanna speak about it!

    Sorry you felt ignored but no one ever intentionally sees a messages and thinks "yep im gunna purposly ignore that" just too many conversations and other users can help you too.


    Mike knows though. I just didnt want to explain myself all over again.
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,130 Boards Guru
    Hey Jess,

    I moved this thread to Problems & Suggestions where it fits slightly better, and hopefully this discussion will be of use to some others who might be feeling the same way.

    Firstly, I'm sorry to hear you felt ignored in yesterday's chat. I know we did chat about gender identity once before, and it can be nice to return to those conversations and continue them. I noticed you were chatting to others during that session, so it's good to see you getting some support even though we didn't talk too much. :)

    As @Shaunie said, we never intentionally ignore messages. As mods, our priority is to oversee the room and make sure everything is running smoothly, and there's a good chance moderators are multitasking more than people in the session are aware. That means that while we do also give a bit of support, it's not our highest priority. The 12 of you folks can do that much more genuinely and authentically than we can as moderators.

    One of the advantages of a peer support space is that you folks can have conversations about what's going on for you, and then carry those on in the next chat. This can be tougher with mods because our attention is often divided across the group. We typically only mod once a week, so we're not always up to date on what's going on for you guys (and re-explaining things can feel a bit tiring) - a lot can happen in a week!

    Chat is your space - a chance for members of this community to come together, talk, and support each other. It's usually not very practical to come to sessions with the aim of talking to moderators, because even though we do chat to people too, we can realistically only have one or two conversations at once.

    The main thing is to come to chat with an open mind and feeling ready to chat to the whole group. :yes:

    I hope that makes sense, and helps clear up the role of chat mods for anyone else curious about this. :)

    Mike
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    I wish i could agree with you @Mike but other users felt ignored too and there is a cap on chat now which should really make the job of moderator easier. I honestly felt blatantly ignored last night and i felt that maybe i done something wrong, i upset you in some way and of course peer to peer support is great but i am sure that if you put a poll on the boards asking users about if they come to chat do they prefer to just talk to other users or talk to moderators then im sure around 90% of them would say moderators because you guys are the ones we look up to in a sense so its only normal that some of us only talk to mods.

    You understand?
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    Hi Jess,

    I wasn't there last night, so I don't know what happened and am not going to make any assumptions.

    I do know what you mean about SC - sometimes it's really difficult to know what to say as a user to support someone, so the fact that the moderators also support people as well as moderate the chat in general is fantastic ( @The Mix I love how that works).

    I know how it feels to feel completely invisible in chat :(

    But overall, chat and the whole idea of group support is fantastic.

    I'll be in chat tonight hopefully, hope you feel able to get the support you need tonight or whenever you want to in future. There's also the boards, we're all here if you want to chat.

    Take care

    -Eleanor
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    This has made me angry. Mods are humans and they cant just speak to one member. I think mods do a great job
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    *BananaMonkey* wrote: »
    This has made me angry. Mods are humans and they cant just speak to one member. I think mods do a great job


    I am not saying that mods dont do a great job. i was just putting my opinion across, lets just agree to disagree.
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
    Wait what, i never said that mods don't do a great job. I think the mods are amazing to even give their time to help us all.
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    @Jess101 sorry, edited that last post now. Didn't write it the way I meant it.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,130 Boards Guru
    Hey folks,

    I've closed this thread now because it looks like things were getting a bit off-track, but it's good to see some constructive input on this discussion too. :yes: @independent_ it's wicked to hear you're up for supporting others in chat, and glad to hear you like our system in how things work (even though, inevitably, it doesn't always work perfectly)!

    I see what you're saying, @Jess101. It is completely natural to want to engage with those sorts of figures in our lives, but when coming to group chat it's important to keep in mind that you may not get the chance to do so as much as you'd like. Even with the cap on the room, it still can't be a moderator's priority to talk to everybody. We do still have to prioritise our time. I know it can be frustrating, but it's never a personal thing. :)

    It's also worth keeping in mind that if you do want that more focused one-on-one support, we do provide that in our Support Circles, our webchat, and even our counselling service. It's good to think about the kind of support you'd like and where it's best to find it.

    There's also an element of group responsibility here. Let's have a quick look at this guideline:
    Chat is a group environment – I’m prepared for a bit of give and take and I’ll help to include everyone. I’ll also make sure I consider what I say and how it may impact others.

    Of course, even though nobody has to support someone else in chat and moderators don't frown upon people who don't, coming to chat with that open mind and willingness to engage with the whole group is something everyone agrees to before entering. Although mods are there to help make sure as many people get supported as possible, Support Chats do rely on you folks talking to each other more than moderators. :yes:

    I hope that makes sense, but happy to continue this conversation via PM if anyone would like to.

    Mike :rainbow:
This discussion has been closed.