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Shyness and stuttering

SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
Hate myself. Keep stuttering and is embarrassing. Dunno if other people are thinking wtf is wrong with you. Or what. But would like to know if other people find it awkward ?if others are stuttering ? and just want others opinions

I have diagnosis of social anxiety but i dunno if its the same as shyness. Cause shyness is a type of anxiety really? I dunno i have many internal conversations on this. Get told anxiety is what everyone feels at some point for survival and stuff yet they label me as ill.?? I dunno it doesnt look like everyone else is anxious aswell but maybe everyone is - then how do i pretend im not ?

Dont think ive ever experienced a panic attack but i dunno how i would of known if i did? I have started crying in social situation but never really felt like i was dying.

And its alwyas so obvious im shy and anxious and feels like when someone looks at me they dont want to get to know me cause im to anxious. And i dunno if you/others dont try to make friends with people who are anxious?. Not intentionally but just dont. Cause it feels rather shittyyy when feels like people dont want to know me. Will be alone and hate myself so much fml want to die.

Thankss
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    I've always stuttered a bit and recently it has been getting worse along with my stupid sounding voice which have increased my anxiety. I'm also shy so maybe my opinion isn't great but i'd definitely wouldn't not talk to someone if they looked anxious. With my stutter (which i noticed a lot) i went and asked some people and they said that they hadn't noticed. I think it's probably the same with your anxiety, and if you worry about it too much then it'll look more obvious. I prefer to talk to people who look shy because outgoing people tend to be more arrogant, which i hate. You're biggest critic is yourself, try a day of just 'not giving a shit' or something, don't care about how you look or how people look, see if you feel better by the end of it.
    I've realised that i probably haven't helped much but I'm here to talk more if you want :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Deactivated Posts: 75 Budding Regular
    Hey Shaunie,

    I’m sorry to hear you feel that way! I just want you to know that social anxiety is something that many people struggle with, you are not alone! I don’t find stuttering to be awkward at all, it can just be a part of how someone speaks!

    You mentioned you weren’t sure if you’ve experienced a panic attack before, the Mix has a great article all about panic attacks: http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/stress-mental-health/panic-attacks-5602.html . The article goes over signs of a panic attack as well as treatment options for those that experience them.

    Also, you can try reaching out to AnxietyUK, who runs helplines, email support, live chats and therapy services for people with anxiety disorders. You can ring them at 08444 775 774.

    I hope this helped!

    Vidhya @The Mix

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you all!!

    Though im not anxious in some situations and just sometimes im not anxious at all- for no reason and after knowing people for a long time. But would still stress over it for a few days before but be fine. Which makes me think just shyness. I dunno if other people with social anxiety are the same ?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Shaunie wrote: »

    Though im not anxious in some situations and just sometimes im not anxious at all- for no reason and after knowing people for a long time. But would still stress over it for a few days before but be fine. Which makes me think just shyness. I dunno if other people with social anxiety are the same ?
    ?
    And stress over it after and repeat conversations in my head, even if i wasnt anxious in the situatin and then regret saying simple things...maybe thats just weird more than anything
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Shaunie i think that a lot of people get annoyed when they think back to a conversation that they had earlier and wish they had done something differently, I've definitely stressed about how badly i am at talking to people and get annoyed when i stuttered or had to repeat what i was saying because i was too quiet or they didn't understand me. I've tried to improve by talking a little slower and thinking about what i'm saying before saying it and also speak louder.
    Try not to think about conversations and regretting something that you said because the other person maybe didn't even notice the thing you said wrong or didn't care because they've done similar things before. We're only human :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hiya Shaunie x

    I have been diagnosed with social anxiety for about 2 years now. it can be really hard and tiring I've experienced this first hand at College.
    often times i'll skip lunch because the cafeteria doesn't have a menu up and i'm too scared to ask if they do soup today in case they don't and think i'm an idiot. when the lecturers are going around the class my heart starts beating waiting until they get to me at which point I just know i'll say a word wrong or mess up somehow. I go to the toilet in-between breaks so I don't have to ask during class. I sit alone at lunch. And I never ask the building leader for help because I don't want to be a bother but, here's what I have learned.

    - The chefs don't care. if they don't have what I asked for(which they certainly will because its on their internet menu) then they'll simply tell me and ask if I want something else to which i'll just buy a hot chocolate, no harm done.
    - Nobody cares if I stutter or mess up, they're all really understanding and we've all had a good laugh at my clumsiness(including when I got myself locked in the toilet and pulled the alarm :blush:)
    - I always sit alone at lunch but ultimately the games design and photography students always sit next to me and include me in their conversations.
    - The building leader doesn't care if I have a question, that's why he comes to each course one day of the week in case any of us do.

    social anxiety, shyness, etc. its not as big a impact as we make it out to be. everything we assume, every conversation we think we messed up. it almost always ends up being okay, they didn't notice. they didn't care. we misunderstood.
    if people really want to get to know you none of your quirks, interests, or shyness will matter to them.

    I found this article to be quite helpful myself so it might be worth a read: http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/friendship/shyness-3326.html

    All the best :rainbow2:
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