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Relationships after rape
How do you learn to trust people after rape? How do you trust someone with your body. The thought of a relationship terrifies me, people keep saying it will come with time, but when? Nothing seems to of got easier. I feel like people are looking down on me cause I'm not in a relationship, the looks of disgust on nurses faces when I'm getting checked or a contraception review, when they ask about my partner and I have to say i don't have one, I just have sex. But I can't sleep with someone more than once, cause then it means something and I'm terrified ill just get hurt over and over again. I wish I could function normally, but I can't even be in a room alone with a male unless I'm drunk as hell. It's worrying my friends how I'm just sleeping with randomers from the pubs, but if I'm not drunk the flashbacks come and its horrendous, they understand that, but they keep saying a good relationship will fix it.. and I'm just stuck in this vicious cycle.
' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''