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Guideline change: eating issues

TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,134 Boards Guru
in Community Announcements
Hey everyone,

We recently updated our chat guidelines when it comes to talking about eating, food and body image. Previously, we've always had this guideline:
The Mix wrote:
Eating issues - We promote healthy eating here but not obsessive dieting. Please avoid sharing details about your specific weight, calorie counts. Instead we encourage you to focus on your feelings.

With this previous guideline, talking fairly in-depth about things like 'binging', 'purging' or other behaviours have been allowed during group chats as they weren't really covered under this guideline. However, we know that mentions of methods and behaviours can be quite triggering and make people feel uncomfortable, and ultimately take the focus away from what's important - the feelings and emotions behind them.

What's changed about this guideline?

In the interests of keeping the room as safe, comfortable and supportive for everyone as possible, we added this blue bit:
The Mix wrote:
Eating issues - We promote healthy eating here but not obsessive dieting. Please avoid sharing details about your specific weight, calorie counts or any behaviours (such as what or how much you've been eating or drinking). Instead we encourage you to focus on your feelings.

Our stance on eating issues has shifted slightly to be more in line with our stance on self-harm - focusing on feelings rather than methods or behaviours. All this means is avoiding overly-descriptive language, as well as the usual stuff like like calorie counts, weights, etc. :yes:

Hopefully that makes sense, but do post below with any comments or questions. :thumb:

Mike, Aife & James

Comments

  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,051 Supreme Poster
    That makes sense, thank you for changing it!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you for changing it.
    Cause both behaviours can be seen as a self harm method anyway
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    This guidline is actually alot harder than it sounds to follow and dont agree with it.

    And im a bit confused, is this saying we cant use the words "binging" & "purging" at all? Or?


    Cause if so they are very vague words. Someomes meaning of "binge eating" could mean eating one peice of chocolate too many and someone elses meaning could be eating everything they can find until they feel sick. And there are different forms of purging. Saying purging or binging arent very descrivtive and personally i dont find them triggering unless its gone into more detail. Like reading things like "i spent all day binge eating til i couldnt breath" is something thats quite triggering and descpitive but saying "was binge eating" personally isnt. But this guidline is saying we cant even say that?

    And for me its hard to say what i want without saying why i feel the way i feel. And never know what to say cause food and weight is all i can think about.

    An eating disorder can be a very isolating lonely thing. Cause those methods are done secretly and being able to share it on a very vague level to others - makes me feel less alone. And hate being completly consumed by isolation by having to aviod the whole topic all together. Its rather lonely. And hard to expand on how you feel if cant say why. Not saying im not going to follow this rule, ill try but its hard to follow when i see no point in it.

    But thats just my opinion
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,134 Boards Guru
    Hey Shaunie,

    Appreciate you taking the time to write this - it's good to hear your thoughts. :chin:

    We're not censoring the words 'binge' and 'purge' as such, and of course everyone can still discuss disordered eating, but context is of utmost importance. The emphasis just needs to be on feelings.

    So saying something like "I've binged and purged 4 times today" wouldn't really be okay, because it's behaviour-focused, not too constructive and unnecessarily descriptive. Whereas something like "I've been really struggling with urges to binge recently" would be fine, because you're not describing physical behaviour in a way that is likely to feel spiky for others. All the info other members need to help support you is there, but there's less room for potential triggers.

    Does that make sense? We're keen to allow you the space you need to express yourselves in a constructive way so you don't need to feel isolated, while also avoiding any trigger hot-spots. One-to-one chats are better for going into more detail if that's something you find therapeutic - which is of course up to you. :)

    Mike

    PS: At some point during the next few days, we'll be sharing the feedback we got from you guys about the chat guidelines. That should be a good chance to have a broader look at the guidelines and have some more conversations about them (what is/isn't okay, what everyone thinks, etc). Do look out for that thread. :yes:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    That makes sense. Thanks for clarifying. Maybe just me but this
    The Mix wrote: »

    With this previous guideline, mentioning things like 'binging', 'purging' or other behaviours have been allowed during group chats as they weren't really covered under this guideline. However, we know that mentions of methods and behaviours can be quite triggering and make people feel uncomfortable

    Has had me confused for a good few weeks cause it sounds like the words youve quoted, on top of other things, cant be mentioned too. Like you said those words have been allowed then like now they cant. But probably just how i read it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,134 Boards Guru
    Shaunie wrote: »
    That makes sense. Thanks for clarifying. Maybe just me but this



    Has had me confused for a good few weeks cause it sounds like the words youve quoted on top of other things, cant be mentioned too. Like you said those words have been allowed then like now they cant. But probably just how i read it

    This is actually a fair shout and I can see what you mean. I don't think it's just you - that wasn't worded in the best way! I've tweaked the original post now, which should read a little better. :)

    Mike
  • TheMixTheMix Posts: 3,134 Boards Guru
    Hey folks,

    So, in the ongoing quest to make our chat guidelines as clear and as easy to follow as possible, we've made another revision to the one around eating. See below for the latest version. The purple bits are most recently added, and the blue bits were added when you guys gave us your feedback a couple of weeks ago. :)
    The Mix wrote:
    Eating issues - We promote healthy eating here but not obsessive dieting. It’s okay to respectfully tell people what you struggle with (e.g. “I struggle with binge-eating”), but please avoid sharing specifics about your weight, calorie counts or details of any behaviours (such as what or how much you've been eating or drinking). Instead we encourage you to focus on your feelings, using broad terms to describe things if you need to.
    Any questions on the above, just comment below or drop us a PM. :thumb:

    Mike
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The new chat guidelines regarding the colour (blue & purple) is excellent.
    Read and understood.
    Julie
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi
    Im a newbie.

    i hope to join-in on the chat topic later this evening.

    Merry Xmas have a lovely enjoyable day : ))))
  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Reflection Man wrote: »
    Hi
    Im a newbie.

    i hope to join-in on the chat topic later this evening.

    Merry Xmas have a lovely enjoyable day : ))))

    Reflection Man :wave: Welcome to the forums.

    The staff and helpers at The Mix are a highly supportive bunch who reach out, and I hope you will also find good friendship and encouragement helpful. I look forward to seeing you in chat tonight.

    Merry Christmas to you!

    Belle
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