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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    And sorry Harriet didn't see that last reply. I was scared but she's just rang me. She seems really pleased I did that and she knows i hate phone calls. And she said she will be sending me a letter to end it. And was ecoraging me to accept help from personality disorder service.

    I feel a lot better now for doing it. But still upset that it had ended. But supose it has to end either way. Just hate it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    It's good that you feel better after calling her. Sorry that it had to end.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I want to die
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    Has anything caused you to feel this way?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Life. To much stress i should of left for work but here Ian with parectomol and vodka
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    No one understands me right now. They think im fucked up. And that if i wanted to.die I would be dead. Trust me i have tried.
    I want to.die right now, and people think why are you seeking help if yoy really want to die. Maybe because all the way back on my mind I know it's wrong. But right mow I think it's all i want and will happen either way.
    It doesn't mean I'm not thinking death is the only answer or just saying it for help.
    I want to get help now but people look and judge me because they donr understand or been in this situatjon
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    They tell you to seek help when youre suicidal but then when you actually do they say "why are you seeking hekp if you want to die"
    I told hospital I wasn't safe to leave. O I was right. It sort of makes it a reason to do it so they take the next person seriously
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,622 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Shaunie,

    Sad to hear things are so full-on at the moment. :( Everything sounds pretty overwhelming.

    That feeling of not being understood can be a crippling one, and particularly with something as widely misunderstood as depression. I know it doesn't always feel like it, and when it doesn't it really really sucks, but there are people out there who 'get' it much more than others. Of course, no one is ever going to know what it's like to be in your very position, but there's a lot of genuine empathy out there, especially on The Mix. *hug*

    I just want to highlight how much strength is takes to still be looking for support when you're feeling like this, though. That survival instinct you're talking about; the feeling in the back of your mind keeping you going is really valuable. Hold on to it if you can. You're doing amazingly.

    Just a gentle reminder that if you do need somewhere to talk or vent openly about suicidal thoughts, then it's best to get in touch with somewhere like Samaritans or Papyrus. Goes without saying that we're here for you to talk about the feelings behind everything, but just to keep things safe for the community. :)

    How are you feeling at the moment? *hug*

    EDIT: I also removed a bit of detail from one of your posts further up just to avoid triggers - feel free to check the note. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Sorry
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I was in hospital but they started sticking things into me and playing 21 questions so I went out the fire exist. But just wanted to write iam safe though
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    And sorry Mike for miss using the boards
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Also found out EUPD is the exact same thing as BPD just they call it something else
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Oh brill. Tbe police keep ringing me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    Hi, how you doing now, sounds really hard for you people just want to make sure that your safe, theres nothing wrong with using this space and it's really positive that you have decided to talk about the way which you are feeling.

    Always here to talk if you need me you can always PM me as well.

    Harriet
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Went to the hospital asked to see mental health team and it was rhe same rude person I've spoke to before. So i was like erm no can i speak to someone elae. She said no it's just me on today go ring 111 if you dont want to I dont care. Or go home.
    I was just lkke why do yoy still have a job if you xouldnt care less about your patients.

    Now Police rang back. They rang me because my sister rang them. They out me through to 111 and they are going to ring me back whwn they have a place available. Which is a sanctuary.

    Sorry need to rant
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    No problem rant all you like, get everything out of your head the best thing to do is get it down on paper. How you feeling at the moment after the hospital?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The EUPD criteria are a bit different to the BPD criteria, so there are a tiny minority of people who fit the criteria of one but not the other. The two different manuals (ICD and DSM) are produced by two different organisations (WHO and APA) - they have different diagnostic criteria - and in some cases they use different names.

    Do you know where you might be going, if there's space? You hated being on the psychiatric ward. Can you go to a rehab centre for people with eating disorders instead?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I'm feeling a lot better now thank you.
    Just physically I feel really ill.
    I went to place to speak to someone just about random stuff til I felt safe and it worked and got really tired. So didn't have to stay and went home. But some people sleep there and stuff but not open 24/7 but nice to know that, that's there.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • CharlotteCharlotte Posts: 229 Trailblazer
    That's really good that you are feeling a lot better and you were able to talk to someone about the way which you are feeling. Well done and always here if you need us again.

    Harriet
    Xx
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