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Need advice **may be triggering**

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 687 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I found out today that my twin sister is self-harming. I share a bedroom with her and saw cuts on her leg and i honestly dont know what to do.

As someone who has self harmed before i understand. I saw the cuts on her leg and then ran downstairs and almost had a panic attack in the downstairs toilet while shaking and almost crying.

Someone please help!

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Hi.
    If i was you i would speak to her and open up about how you feel and that you understand as well. And that could let here be more open. And just showing you care can help a lot. Like when its just you and her.
    I have a twin sister. We dont speak about my mental health even though she knows. But when my older sisters speaks about it. As much as I find it embarrassing it helps.
    And would encourage her to seek help before it gets worse. And tell her it's nothing to be ashamed of because if she has an mental illness. It's an illness.
    When my twin found out I was really ill. I was made to feel so guilty like it was my fault. And that really impacted me. So saying things like you're there really helps.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey Jess,
    It can be a shock of course to see these things especially when family members are involved! What Shaunie said is all really good advice! It may be good for her to know that you're there for her and maybe let her open up to you as much as she's comfortable with and then work your way up. It may be a little overwhelming if it's all spoken about in panic etc... With that being said, make sure that you're feeling comfortable to talk about it too because your mental health is just as important!
    Speak soon :heart:
    Drea:heart:
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Jess,

    I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through, this must be a really difficult and scary time for you right now. You've been really brave to open up here and look for advice on what to do. There's a great article on the rethink.org website here that offers some tips on how to deal with the situation and support the person you care about.

    I've included some bits from the article below:
    Accepting and understanding that someone is in pain doesn't make the pain go away. But it can make it more bearable for them to know that someone understands. Be hopeful about the possibilities of finding other ways of coping rather than self-harm. If they are willing, discuss possibilities for treatment with them, but don’t push them into anything. They will decide when they feel the time is right.

    Be patient. You might find it difficult if the person rejects you at first but they may need time to build trust.

    I think this last point is really important, to be patient - it might take a little bit of time for your sister to open up to you which is okay. How are things at the moment? Do you feel comfortable taking to her about how you are feeling?
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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