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Autism Assesment and Fearful of telling parents a date has been set.

apandavapandav Posts: 2,072 Boards Champion
in Health & Wellbeing

Sorry I haven't been around much recently like I used to but I feel so alone and feel I have nowhere to go or anyone to speak to. My autism assessment is on Monday coming (16th) and I am feeling very down now....... I have to try to get my parents to fill out an early years questionnaire. Although they do know about the assessment, I am very worried- some questions are about frienships and bullying and I worry they will ask me about it, and I know I have lots of secrets about bullying from childhood, I can never tell them. I am scared of my parents, especially my mum, she said if she ever found out I never told her stuff or ...lied , in her exact words she said "You will see the wrath of me" if I have :( I am scared as I don't know what to tell my parents, they don't know a lot of stuff. And now I've been crying as I feel so alone with all this, and I phoned an autism helpline and she said she thinks the only way about of it is to "be brave and face it". But I don't feel I have it in me to "be brave" or stand up to my parents. I am sitting crying. I know I could just not do the assessment but either way I would be very sad, as moving forwards in life for me I think being assessed is the only way to try to get on with life. I feel I have no options and don't know what to do :(

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Hi apandav.
    You parents care about you and could understand why you dont tell them certain things. They would jist want to help you, even if they did say that.
    Definitely go to the assessment as it could help you to feel less alone. And dont have to cope alone and we are here to listen.
    The other option could be to say you havent been bullied to your mum but tell them at the assessment that you have. They would keep it confidential. And that way you dont have to tell your mum and get the assessment and help.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    Hey apandav,
    Would you have to disclose all these things in front of your parents at the session? Perhaps you could ask your parents to fill in that form and then ask for some time with whoever is assessing you to go through anything else you didn't want to talk about. I'd say you are definitely old enough to not have to tell your parents everything if you don't want to (and perhaps it wouldn't be helpful to - sometimes what people don't know doesn't hurt them) so I wouldn't feel bad about not having told your parents - some people have a really close relationship with their parents and tell them everything, others don't (and I'm the latter too :) )

    I feel like the assessment is really important to you and it may definitely be worth attending. Good luck and keep posting here if it helps :)
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