Will this ever get easier?!

Former Member

My friend passed away on 6th Sep 2016 and over 2 months on I feel like it's a struggle to be happy without her around. I am going through so much at work at well which doesn't help matters! When will things start to get easier!?!? I hate feeling like this and u have let my emotions out at work many times!

Former Member

Hey there Laura,

How are you doing? I'm so sorry to hear about your friend passing away, may she rest in peace - The pain from loosing someone can feel endless and one that is difficult to get rid of when you're struggling so much with other life events at the moment. You need to allow yourself to grieve, and that's okay. Mental health is a major thing when it comes to focusing on whats going on around you, including work. Have you spoken to anyone about your friend? For example, other friends, or parents? - I know people who have found making a scrap book filled with memories really helped them. I guess it's about finding what works for you, because it's okay to talk about it, and often people can feel as though you can't, as its such a sensitive topic. Talk about your friend to others, share happy moments you've had together, etc. You can even talk to us on here about it.

I personally found work difficult while also battling mental health issue, and I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but I do know what its like to be in that situation, I lost a job I loved because I wasn't seen as being stable enough, I was taken off the rota in weeks once things began to get really bad (Lodes of hospital moments) - But I found a new job which I absolutely loved. Are work understanding about what is going on for you right now? Do you feel as though you can talk to anyone at work about whats going on for you right now?

Keep us updated and know you can always talk to us when you need to,
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart

Former Member

Hi WhispersOfTheHeart. Thanks for getting back to me x Im not feeling good about things at the moment not just with my friend passing away but also got other stuff going on at work and outside of work! Thanks for saying that its difficult to lose someone. A few of my close friends know about what happened to my friend and they are supporting me though it but sometimes it just gets to me and i feel emotional at random times. Thanks for the idea about the scrap book, might try that and see if that helps. Im only able to talk about it when on paper if i said it to someone then i would probably get really upset.
Yeah i have found work difficult recently as at times it has stressed me out and led to my anxiety getting bad and at times ive been close to panic attacks!!! Work dont have any idea what ive been going through recently because i dont have the confidence to speak to them. I know there is one member of staff that would be so understanding about it but just haven't had the confidence to speak to her about it yet. I have told one supervisor at work when it first happened but she doesn't know im still feeling like this. I've got work today which im not looking forward to because im feeling really ill and definitely not myself today.
Thanks for the reply x
Hope to hear from you again soon x
Laura12345 xx

Former Member

Hi Laura, so sorry to hear of your loss, I offer my condolences. How was your day? Looks like you've had some great support from WhispersOfTheHeart's and I wanted to echo those sentiments (and love the scrap book idea!)

The grieving process does take some time, and every one goes through a different process. Sometimes it can feel conflicting or overwhelming, however, it is best to let your feelings out rather than bottling them in. It's wonderful that you have friends supporting you through this, and it may help you to open up to your supervisor on how you are struggling to cope with your bereavement. You may find her to be very understanding, and it will ease the pressure at work.

Here's further info on grief and bereavement, and if you ever need to talk to someone anonymously and directly, don't hesitate to contact Samaritans 24/7.

We are all here if need to talk things through. Let us know how you get on.

Sending hugs. *hug*

Former Member

Hi Nikki. Thanks. Haven't had the best of days. I worked 11-3 and was meant to do 4,30-8;30 but they sent me home during the first shift because I was feeling dizzy and sick so I didn't go back for the other shift but slightly anxious about work tomorrow because of the fact I didn't go back! I think I felt ill because I'm just over working and thinking about other stuff right now!
Yeah I'm finding things hard since it happened. Yeah I'm glad I've got supportive friends and I might speak to supervisor again at work so she knows that it's still getting to me and might be able to help.

Former Member

Hi Laura, how are you getting on? Did you manage to speak to your supervisor? I hope you have found some comfort since we last spoke.

Keep us updated, and you can always reach out here if needed. *hug*

Former Member

Hi x thanks for getting back to me. Still not good too be honest! Got so much going on not just bereavement. I haven't spoken to my supervisor yet! Hopefully havethe confidenve to tomorrow. I have some great friends that are helping me.

Former Member

Hey Laura, just checking in to see how are you getting on? I hope some things have become better for you.

Former Member

Hi. Things are getting easier in relation to the bereavement. Although this is improving a week ago today someone I know was involved in a serious car accident which led to him being put into incentive care unit where he is currently still in an induced coma. I got emotionally about it at work on Friday but luckily 2 members of staff helped me when I explained it t them. It was really nice because today they checked I was ok because I hadn't seen them since I was upset on Friday. I was hoping to explain it to one of my supervisor s today but didn't get round to it so hopefully I will have the confidence to do it tomorrow. Just feel everything is going wrong for me right now! Got so much o on my mind right now. Thanks for getting back to me.