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Going Downhill :(
Former Member
NoobPosts: 24 Boards Initiate
So feeling low and crap about things right now isn't something new, it's more a less a daily feeling/fight just because of how tricky things are right now in my life and difficulties I'm facing. Usually, I always try to find one positive thing about myself or my day daily because it helps motivate me. Yet tonight I feel stuck, lost, confused, upset, angry and generally low 
so yeah recently my minds been all over but I'm not a bitch, I'm not a bully, I'm an individual who is going through a rough patch so I'm not myself and yeah I get arsey and snappy. Yet recently all that's being said to me is more a less indicating I'm nothing more than a selfish, worthless person. Worthless I agree with but I'm not selfish and I'm not a bully so yeah this has knocked me right back and now all I am doing is overthinking so much, questioning how I come across, like is this really how people see me? it hurts because that's not who I am but clearly others see something I don't.
I just try so hard on a daily basis to stay positive, focused on what could be a happy and free future for me. But then things like this question if I'm even worth being given a chance in life to be happy? Oh I don't know, I really don't. To the point I've cried on and off all evening about how shit a person I am.
I literally upset everyone I come in contact with. I'm just glad I've got a couple of days away and to try and switch my mind back to the positive person I want to be, not what others clearly are thinking of me
so yeah recently my minds been all over but I'm not a bitch, I'm not a bully, I'm an individual who is going through a rough patch so I'm not myself and yeah I get arsey and snappy. Yet recently all that's being said to me is more a less indicating I'm nothing more than a selfish, worthless person. Worthless I agree with but I'm not selfish and I'm not a bully so yeah this has knocked me right back and now all I am doing is overthinking so much, questioning how I come across, like is this really how people see me? it hurts because that's not who I am but clearly others see something I don't.I just try so hard on a daily basis to stay positive, focused on what could be a happy and free future for me. But then things like this question if I'm even worth being given a chance in life to be happy? Oh I don't know, I really don't. To the point I've cried on and off all evening about how shit a person I am.
I literally upset everyone I come in contact with. I'm just glad I've got a couple of days away and to try and switch my mind back to the positive person I want to be, not what others clearly are thinking of me
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Comments
First off I just want to reassure you that despite what you might be hearing from others, or even yourself, we certainly don't think you're worthless, selfish or a bully. You're a great member of this community, and like you said you're someone going through a rough patch so you're not yourself. The people who can recognise that will know that you're none of those things at heart. *hug* Is it anyone in particular making you think this way about yourself, or a general feeling you get?
Also I love that you try and find one positive thing about you every day. I imagine this can really help keep that positivity going on some level, although it sucks that it didn't quite do the trick last night.
How are you doing today? Sounds like last night was quite rough, but I hope you managed to get through it. Have a great couple of days away if we don't hear from you before you get back, and I hope you get some space to think.