What Qualities Are You Attracted to?

Former Member

When we are attracted to someone, it is great to be attracted to something more than their physical features. We are then able to feel something much more. Whether it leads to something more or not, it's nice to see the qualities you wish to see in a person.


What qualities are you attracted to?


It could be:

Sense of humour, intelligence, loving nature, patience etc.


Let's share our thoughts below.

For me, it is most definitely the thoughtfulness and loving nature of my boyfriend.

Former Member

I am attracted to guys who are warm and caring, that empathise with you, and someone who has a sense of humour. I am an introvert, so I've always felt attracted to extroverted guys.

Former Member

Hope, when you say that you're attracted to someone who has a sense of humour, is it sufficient that he enjoys humour as a viewer and listener - or do you require him to perform comedy for you (telling jokes and funny anecdotes, being a self-proclaimed 'king of banter' etc.)?

Virtually no-one wants introverted guys - they are almost universally unwanted and looked down upon.

Former Member

Hello @Hope93,

​Thank you for your response on this thread,

I like how you mentioned that you're an introvert and you look for an extroverted guy - opposites certainly can attract can't they. I'm a little like that too with my boyfriend so I certainly know what you mean.:)

When it comes to a sense of humour - we have personal jokes that no one else would probably understand. We enjoy watching similar television programmes, films etc. and we tend to make each other laugh with the silly things we do.

Having a person who is warm, caring, and a good listener are such lovable traits.

Former Member

It rarely works the other way round, Tasha. An introverted guy usually can't get an extroverted girl - in most cases he has great difficulty getting any girl - due to being viewed as inferior. A man has to be confident, outgoing, tell jokes every day, 'not take himself or life seriously' etc. in order to be deemed worthy of a girl's time. An introverted girl (or gay guy) can just wait to be approached. Very few girls ever make the first move, so an introverted straight guy doesn't stand a chance.

Why do most girls demand that their date makes them laugh? If they want to laugh, they can watch comedy on TV or on the Internet at any time. The world's best comedians and comedy actors are far superior at comedic skill than an ordinary person telling lame jokes can ever be.

I know someone who's a really great guy. However, he's never been able to get a girl (despite trying his best) because he's a serious introvert who can't tell jokes, silly/funny anecdotes, do banter etc. He always quickly suffers rejection. Meanwhile there are many selfish, reckless, irresponsible, arrogant loudmouths who tell crude jokes and have no respect for other people's boundaries who get loads of girls with ease.

Former Member

Hi Steve :wave:,

Thank you for your response.

Some people may enjoy to hear jokes from other people just as much as they do from their favourite comedy material on television/film. Having the opportunity to share a laugh with someone can make a person happy, therefore can create a connection for a person. Everyone finds different things funny, therefore it is each to their own.

My boyfriend may be an extroverted guy but he certainly does portray some qualities of an introvert. For example, being a good listener, being well focused, and easy to please by the little things in life. I don't know if most girls do demand that their date makes them laugh, as for many, it could be another quality which is first and foremost for them.

A sense of humour is not a demand by me, as it is something which we share between us in our own way. We got to understand each others personalities and we began to share stories of our childhood and college which brought us together again. We both take life seriously when it comes to how much we love each other, our employment, commitments etc. but we also like to live a little.

But like you said, it is the case of usually.

What qualities do you look for in a person? Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or extrovert?

Former Member

Most girls do demand that their date make them laugh from day one and will quickly discard him if he doesn't fulfil that requirement. On dating sites, most F4M profiles say things like: 'you must make me laugh' 'banter is a must' and 'I want a man who doesn't take himself or life seriously'. How laughing causes sexual attraction and excitement is something that puzzles me. Laughing has never made me horny, nor attracted to the person making me laugh. I'm puzzled why anyone would want a LTR with someone who treats life as one long joke. That type of person might be great on a night out. However, in the medium and long term, they would be irritating and the relationship would be unworkable. Some things have to be dealt with using seriousness, including: illness, death, attending appointments and paying bills.

I look for hot girls who love casual sex.

I'm quite introverted, but not to the extent of the lad whom I mentioned in my last post on this thread who can't get a girl because of his introversion etc.

Former Member

Hi Steve,

As always you are blowing this out of proportion. Every time I post something, you get confrontational, there is no need to be like that. We all have different opinions, and Tasha's post, is an open ended question, so criticising someone s opinion is not right. I am not by any means saying you can t disagree, but please treat other people s opinions with respect. I am an introverted girl who has a sense of humour, and likes to banter with people in general. I don t like men who are overly funny all the time, I would expect men to be serious about important things, but there s nothing wrong in having a good banter every now and then. Being with an extroverted guy really helps me to open up to people, he keeps me motivated to get to know new people.

Former Member

Hope, I'm not being confrontational. My last message on this thread was about what girls write on their dating site profiles. I've seen hundreds that say 'you must make me laugh', 'banter is a must' and 'I want someone who doesn't take himself or life seriously'. I've never seen a girl's profile that says that she wants (or would even accept) an introvert or someone who is serious.

Do you have any advice for my serious, introverted friend who can't get a girl? He's a good guy, but girls never give him a chance because he's not a self-proclaimed 'king of banter' and can't tell jokes or silly anecdotes. Is there an alternative to being an amateur comedian?

Banter is horrible. It's cruelly mocking, ridiculing, insulting and taunting people under the guise of 'having a bit of fun'.

Former Member

My kind of banter isn t cruel at all, I think it just depends from person to person. I like being ironic and using rhetoric but I never use it to taunt people. I have been bullied in school so I know how it feels and wouldn t wish it on anyone. Even if he isn t funny he still has a chance. Being funny isn t all, the most important factor in a guy for me is empathy and sensitivity. If I were to talk about something serious with someone who constantly jokes I would probably get frustrated. I hope your friend finds a girl soon

Former Member

Every girl whom my friend has wanted has quickly rejected him. In every case, his introversion and seriousness have been the reason or one of the reasons that they didn't want him. He has empathy and sensitivity, but all the girls he's met demand that he quickly makes them laugh - which he's unable to do. Girls treat him with contempt and view him as grossly inadequate. He can't even get a peck on the cheek from a girl, and is depressed about that. He doesn't even get friend-zoned; he gets 'nothing-zoned'. I want to help him, but I don't know how to.