Self harm

Former Member

Ah crap just [self-harmed]. Concerned a little but I [really don't want to] go to A&E!

Former Member

Could you maybe even go to a minor injuries unit if you don't want to go to A&E? Sorry to hear it sounds like things are tough! Are you getting any help?

Former Member

Hey lost_sense

Sorry to hear your struggling, I agree with apandav, could you go to a minor injuries unit, it's important to get checked over. Sending you *hug*s

This thread, could be helpful it just has a bit about self harm, and how to speak about it on TheMix

We are here for you though.

Do take care

Former Member

I can't go to A&E I'm hiding away from them and I don't want to wait in urgent care. I was briefly concerned but it's calmed down now

Former Member

Why do I keep going to train tracks but cannot do it? I don't want to be here anymore

Former Member

Hello there Lost_Sense,

Sounds like you've had quiet the difficult day, but I'm proud of you for being able to reach out and post on here. You said you couldn't go to A&E as you were hiding away from them, why do you find the need to hide away from them? I'm not going to lie, I'm not one to go to A&E after self harming, because to me it doesn't seem 'serious' enough and I wouldn't really know how to apporach with just self harm. With self harm, you often get bandaged up and treated pretty quickly I find, with the times I have been in, it's often waiting around for crisis that is a mare, but like you're in an enviroment where you are safe. I highly reccomend getting your self harm checked out if it did cause alarm bells in your head. There's a video on here (Let me hunt it down) that goes into what happens when you go to A&E for self harm that might be worth checking out if you had a moment - http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/self-harm/going-to-a-and-e-for-self-harm-5687.html

Its really worrying to hear you talk about train tracks however, are you currently getting any support for how you're feeling? For example counsellors and so forth? - Remember, were always here for you, and if you did ever feel as danger, please note, you can even call the police, or go into your local A&E and talk to crisis you aren't alone, and if you didn't want to apporach anyone in person, talking to Samaritans on there free phone number might help (116 123), let us know how you're getting on and keep reaching out to us ^.^

Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart

Former Member

Because the doctor told them I was going in the other day to hand myself over to the crisis team at A&E because I constantly have ideas of stepping out in front of a train and tbh it's just a matter of time until I do. A matter of time until more people pull on my strings. I know I will. I know my death will be suicide. I later on changed my mind and didn't want to hand myself over to the crisis team at A&E because I was angry and I know how shit they're so would of just been more angry but now they're looking for me. I know neither am I one to go to A&E for self harm because likewise not serious enough I think I just frightened myself earlier and just panicked. I am on a waiting list for a counsellor and trying to get as much support as poss as I moved aswell only a few weeks ago. Ah I have actually stayed on the phone with the Sams tonight for 7minutes that's an achievement! Police know me and follow me everywhere I've had a lot to do with the police especially because I had a case with them lastyear. I don't want to be in this pain anymore. I'm too terrified to sleep knowing I'll be waking up. I just want to do it asap

Former Member

Under your name it says part of the furniture what does that mean

Former Member

Hey Lost Sense,

A massive well done for reaching out here (as Whispers said)! It sounds like you gave yourself a bit of a scare last night, how are you doing now?

Really sorry to hear that things feel so painful at the moment - it seems like everything's feeling super tough and that you don't really see anything changing soon. Judging from the kinds of thoughts you're having, it sounds like you're finding the idea of carrying on pretty difficult and I get the impression that it all feels a bit hopeless? Feeling so low must be incredibly hard *hug*

Having said that, it's really positive that you're trying to find support from a few places; staying on the phone with Sams for that long is a great achievement :yes:
If you feel things getting a bit overwhelming again, Sams are great people to call. You could also give Papyrus a try (0800 068 41 41) if Sams feels too tricky.

You mentioned that it's a matter of time until more people pull your strings (or you pull them yourself). I wonder what you meant by that - could you say a bit more about it?

Hope you're okay and do keep us updated

James

Former Member

Lost_sense wrote: »

Under your name it says part of the furniture what does that mean

It's a user title, when your post count goes up, I'm not sure if it has a meaning to it, but I feel as though it means, I just belong here, because I've posted so much, haha! Your user title changes to different ones for example your's is Mini Poster, however, you can also get Customer user titles when you hit a specific amount of posts, for the life of me I can't remember what the number was though, but you'll start seeing your user title change the more you post ^.^

I'm guessing you've spoken to the crisis team at A&E before, I'm sorry you've had an awful experiance with them, however, I have found the times I have seen them and the variety of people I've seen it changes a fair bit, like some can be really lovely, and some can be an absolute mare and I understand giving them a second chance is easier said than done, but they are there to support you if you did need them ^.^ I'm so proud to hear that you managed to talk to Samaritans though, did it help talking to them a bit?

You mentioned people pulling on your strings, would you be able to tell us a it more about what you mean by that? Were here for you! (Just realized James posted the same quesion, sorry!)

Former Member

It's a ticking time bomb untill I end my life^ I want to go do it now but now I dont know where the nearest train tracks are. I don't evan know how to talk right now because I cannot stop crying. Today has been too stressful and hard for me. I've moved again, they moved me. All my stuff is still back there so I have nothing to self harm now and really need to I want to sleep now forever. Haven't evan got any of my tabelts with me

Former Member

No-one would notice if I was dead

Former Member

Hi Steph,:wave:

You're doing really well to continue to post here about how you're feeling and what's going on at the moment. Sounds like things are really hard for you right now, it's really positive that you're talking here about how you're finding things. You were saying that you got moved again and that everything is too stressful. Sounds really tough, how are you feeling today?

What makes you say that it's a ticking time bomb until you end your life and that no-one would notice if you were dead? You're doing so well to write here about how you're feeling, we're here to listen and support you. *hug*

If you feel like things are too overwhelming for you then we'd urge you to contact Samaritans (116 123) or Papyrus (0800 068 41 41) for crisis support or go to your nearest A&E or call 999 and ask for an ambulance.

We're here for you, feel free to keep writing here if it's helping to write things down *hug*

Former Member

I feel exhausted but cannot sleep because I don't want to wake up. I feel dizzy. Feel like im going to faint. I hate this heat it dosent match my mind. I like dark that's why I use to go out for walks in the dark early hours. Someone was rather aggressive towards me in the shared house yesterday morning so the supported living project moved me for my safety. I have moved me into a flat with just 2 rooms so hopefully it will be a lot more peaceful here. Everything is moved again now though to here and I've just unpacked most of it but I feel like in going to faint. My home support worker saw all the blood on my top as I wipped it all on my top as I had no tissue from self harming. Earlier they changed my home support worker and I was like whaaaat but that's sorted now I'm keeping my home support worker the same. So I've moved again just after becoming familiar with things and now I dont really know where I am again and have to phone up everywhere again and tell them all I have moved again and I have to change my gp again as there's one nearer. I have to do it all again. I'm waiting for a general floating support worker through Birmingham MIND. I really need to self harm. I really need to have a shower. Finish unpacking and I just want to die. No-one would notice if I was dead and I know my death will be suicide. I need to figure out what to have for tea. What/how am I going to cope over the weekend. I'm going to my mums Monday-Wednesday as it's my grandmas family birthday meal Monday night which I'm dreading. I hate when it's all the family together but of I don't go they'll all hate me. I'm so emotionally unstable right now and vunerable. I really need to self harm. I can't make a phonecall without crying or putting the phone down. It's a flat I am in I shouldn't be in a flat on my own. Oh I give up

Former Member

Hey Lost sense,

It's good to see you still posting
Really sorry to hear that things are still so tough though. The way you've written your post makes me think that there are lot of thoughts racing through your mind and that everything feels a little blurry. I can imagine that moving so frequently must be a bit frustrating and pretty dis-orientating too?

From the sounds of it, you're feeling quite a lot of pressure and pretty strong urges to self-harm. I wonder if you've ever spoken to the people over at TESS? They run a specialist support service for women and girls up to the age of 24. They're open from 7-9pm tonight and you can text them on: 0780 047 2908 or email them here. You can even start the conversation by just saying 'hi'!

Feel free to keep on posting if you're finding it helpful. It sounds like this weekend might be a bit difficult for you, but the boards will be here if you need them
I hope you hear something from your floating support worker soon too.

Let us know how you get on

Former Member

Yes. It should have been her who got kicked out not me move but they said they could of only gave her a written warning and then if she done it again she would of got kicked out but they had to move me for my safety. Self harm gets me through just about sometimes. I have heard of TESS I do text them. I feel so bad so poorly need to be in a physciatric ward. There's things here that' I could end my life using. I don't want to be here

Former Member

I don't want to wake up. I want to go to sleep and not wake up I want to go to heaven with my grandad. I don't want to do it anymore. I rang the Samaritans and was on the phone for 5mins I felt like she wasn't interested and presuming. I text TESS but they gone now I've been trying to get through to saneline but engaged. I cant go to A&E they will just say they can't do anything about suicide thoughts so they want me to die.

Former Member

Terrified again just to fall asleep. I don't want to be like this I want in to end.

Former Member

Hey lost_sense

Sending you *hug*s

Really good that your posting to get support, is it helping you talking about things on this thread?

We are here for you.

Did you manage to get any sleep in the end?



Keep posting

Former Member

Thanks Banana Monkey 👧

I slept after overdosing yep. Now I'm awake I want to do it again to go back to sleep.

Former Member

So sorry to hear you've overdosed. Do you think you should go and get checked over, it's not safe to overdose and even though you may be feeling fine, they may have long term affects on your body.

Do keep posting

Former Member

No I don't think I need to get checked over 💜

Former Member

Okay, please just stay safe *hug*s

Do you want to talk about anything ?

Former Member

Aww noo don't think so. I've got to make a 3hour journey tomorrow. Doing it for the first time. From mine to my mums. I've got to walk down the road catch the bus just a few stops then catch another bus to the train station then have to change there's a bit of a wait then catch another train to my mums town. Then I've got to walk down the road and catch a bus to my mums. It will take 3hours in total. Oh my god. It better not be warm. I feel really sick hmm I want to sleep and nor wake up

Former Member

I keep thinking I'm going to see a masked face and believe it's going to happen. I can feel it. I keep hearing noise it's really freaking the shit out of me. I thought someone was breaking in last night. I don't evan feel safe with my hammer, spray and panic alarm. Theres a light outside and it goes on and off when someone walks past and it keeps going on and off its freaking me out and my home support worker said that is meant to be for my safety but I feel unsafe with it.

Former Member

Hey @Lost_sense,

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment *hug* It sounds like you're feeling scared and unsafe at the moment; is there something you like doing that could help you to relax in the evening before bed?

It's really good that you're posting on here and talking about how you're feeling. As BananaMonkey mentioned, it might be an idea to get checked over even if you do feel ok physically. You're doing so well to reach out for support on here, as well as contacting TESS, Sams & Saneline. I wonder if you have seen this thread on Self Harm distractions?

Seems like you've got quite a bit of a journey tomorrow; but it sounds like you've planned it out well; it might be an idea to carry a bottle of water with you to stay well hydrated and maybe a few snacks :yes:

We are here for you if you want to talk about anything at all - take care of yourself

Former Member

Hi raich,

Noooo don't think so 🤔 I don't know if I've seen that thread I can't remember I'll have a look again and then I'll remember if I have or not. Yep I have got a longgg journey tomorrow and just because it's my grandmas family birthday meal which I hate family meals but if I don't go I'll be hated evan more so I have to. Evan though I'm not looking forward to it. I stick out like a sore thumb with all my family. I tend to get a drink and maybe lunch to eat on the train(s) I hope it goes smoothly.

Thanks 🌸

Former Member

No I haven't been on that link yet^ I like the glowstick idea 🤔 maybe have to get some. Thanks for linking it 🌸

Former Member

Hi Steph, :wave:

Just checking in to see how you're doing today?

Hope your trip to your mums goes smoothly today :yes:

Former Member

Half way there. Oh my god some 9isshead was just on the railway tracks!! He fell over onto them his 9issed oh my goodness. Think I'm having a panic attack. I kept seeing a masked face lastnight! Oh my god..he shouldn't be here on the tracks. It's not suicide his 9issed. I should be in the tracks I think that when I'm on the train I'de rather get hit by one than on one.

Former Member

Hi Steph, :wave:

Oh no, sounds worrying to see someone on the railway tracks! Sorry to hear that you think you're having a panic attack, it might be helpful to have a look here at this which also has a video about having a panic attack and what to do, hope this is useful keep talking to us *hug*