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HELP ME.. URGENT
Before you all know.. i have had a drink which is probably why ive come to the boards. Why do i always sleep with guys when its emotionally and physocally painful?!? I have slept with 7 guys sonce January.. im supposed to have sex within the next hour tbh.. 2 over this weekend.. is it more concerning im sleeping with guys because i feel like my body deserves this punishment or that im sleeping with a guy thats 46.. 25 years older than me.. i cannot understand it even though i try so hard to. I dont know why i do it. I guess im scared of guys because i was assaulted so i always say yes. The feeling i get before i sleep with them is horrible... i stand/sit there with a sick feeling in my gut and i carry on through the pain until he is ready to finish. I dont known why it happens im not attracted to guys. I feel so fucking DIRTY.