Helping friend with self harm

Former Member

Okay.. So.. As I've know for a while now.. My friend has previously self harmed. Shes a girl and I'm a guy.. And she's my best friend, I'm her best friend. I'm one of.. Maybe 3-5 people that knows she has self harmed and I try to avoid talking about it due to the fear of making her sad or depressed over it and doing it more.. Shes currently thinking of getting medical help and I'm helping her.. But.. She didn't want to until some time last week. We where together and it was very hot and she was complaining so I told her to take her jumper off and she just awkwardly rubbed her arm and said I can't.. It's really bad.. I looked down.. And realise straight away.. I didn't realise but she'd been self harming recently.. She took me aside.. Lifted her sleeve and she has Id say 6-8 cuts.. The look quite new.. And they look deep:( I felt heartbroken.. And spent 3 hours that night talking to her about it and I managed to convince her that it's time she got help.. As she wouldn't be able to get through this with just my help.. But I really want to do everything I can.. To help her.. So what can I do? Over the weekend shes been okay.. But coincedently on Friday she burnt a while in her only jumper she has so she can't where it and spent the day using it like a bandage round her arm.. But I'm lending her a jumper for the week until she gets a new one so it's all good!:) but again.. What can I do? Anything? To help her even more with this.
Thanks in advance

JustV

Hey there, and welcome to the boards. :wave:

Firstly, it's amazing that you're so supportive of your friend. You seem very concerned and I'm sure you're a valuable person for her to have around, particularly at a time like this. But, I'm wondering how you're feeling in all this? It can be tough supporting someone struggling with their mental health, particularly if you're very close to them. It's really worth making sure you're looking after yourself, because you matter as well and our ability to support others often rises and falls with our own wellbeing.

Secondly, in terms of her situation, it's important not to underestimate the value of simply having someone there who knows, listens, and doesn't judge. Even if you don't send bucket loads of practical solutions their way or brilliantly manage to get to the psychological root of their struggle, just being that understanding and caring presence can make all the difference to someone's life. Moreover, have you asked her how you can support her best?

Do you know if she's getting any support for her self-harm at the moment? We have an article on supporting someone who self harms, which might be of some use: http://www.thesite.org/mental-health...arms-5690.html

Do let us know how things go, and feel free to keep using this space however you would like to. :yes: