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Not Coping With Life. Need advice.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, I've found this forum and I thought it would be good to share my issues in the hope that others can help.

I'm doing GCSE's and I am living with my mum. She's disabled and I am her registered carer. We live in a large(ish) flat, yet all the time it's extremely messy due to the fact that she cannot properly move around. Anything that is done is usually done by me, although sometimes she can manage to clean whole rooms (this is extremely rare). I'm a natural worrier, and on top of the stress of dealing with things at home, I have to deal with very important exams, Also, I'm ashamed of the whole house as it's really messy compared to my friend's large, clean, well groomed houses. This is just something that's embedded in me.

On top of this, I've discussed with my parents and they've agreed to see a psychoanalyst for help with my issues. Sometimes when I look at a wall in my room or anywhere in my flat, I have to look at it up and down 50-100 times before it looks "right" to me. Only then can I sleep easy, otherwise I feel like I have to do something about it. Also, I will constantly think about the dirt and mess in our flat - at school, at home, when I wake up, when I go to sleep etc. and it's dragging me down heavily. I do have good days and bad days (like everyone else) but recently I've been down hard. I've also had a few thoughts of suicide, although I feel like it's more in the heat of the moment.

Not sure what I'm trying to get from this, but I think it's therapeutic to write your thoughts down. I know it's long, but thanks for reading.


  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,720 An Original Mixlorian
    Hello there AdamSays,

    Warm welcome to TheSite.org message boards :wave: - Did you find it helpful to be able to pour your thought out on to this thread? - I've never been in that situation, however, when my mom went through depression after giving birth to my sister, we had to do a fair bit, and it is agnozing, exspecially if you have so many things away from home to do. But it's not something you should have to deal with alone, so I'm glad you were able to come on here and post about what's going on for you :)

    How do you feel about seein a psychonalyst? - Have you managed to sort that out yet? For example be placed on a waiting list, etc? - You can also ask school for advice, lodes of high schools nowadays have a routine put in place to support young carers in their school, so maybe see what school have to offer, even if it's just additional support around exam time, etc?

    Have you heard about Babble Carers? - https://babble.carers.org/ - Babble is an online community for young carers, and you can meet others in a similar position to you, they also have a live chat you can check out :)

    How are things going at the moment? - When do you have exams coming up?

    Do keep us updated on how you're getting on Adam,
    Best wishes,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm the same, I find it helpful to write out how I feel when things get me down. As WhispersOfTheHeart says, your school will have ways to help you if you can speak to the right people so it's always a good place to start.

    When I did my GCSE's I got really stressed out over them and had some anxiety issues but speaking to the doctor helped me identify them and ultimately deal with the problem.

    Mental health is a tricky one and it's important to speak up and get help when you need it. I don't know if the issues you describe are diagnosed or not but if you feel like you can't get away to speak to someone in person I highly recommended contacting Mind (http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/). They are a fantastic mental health charity and can help you work out a good plan of action to get yourself back to 100%.
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