Are there any upsides to breaking up?

Former Member

When thinking about this – I stumbled across the break up quote below, that I felt was really powerful:

“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

It got me thinking :chin: sometimes break ups can be for the best, and painful as they are, you can actually curb the hurt by moving on from them. :yes:

It might not feel like it at the time, but break ups can definitely have some upsides. One of these could be that you have more time to reconnect with your mates, and let’s face it – our mates get us through the most difficult times.:yippe:

Spending time with them, hanging out, distracting yourself, when you would otherwise be hanging out with your boy or girl, is a really good way to ease yourself over the hurdle of a break up. :thumb:

So what do you think? Are there any other good sides to breaking up?

Former Member

It can be really hard to see the good sides when you're in it - particularly if you've been ditched. However, I think often when people get to the point of breaking up, they have probably experienced a lot of arguments, sometimes verbal abuse, other times just a feeling of being trapped. Having a more peaceful life for a while can be really enjoyable until you're ready to think about dating again!

Former Member

I think it depends why you broke up in the first place. I briefly dated someone who was so clingy and wanted attention all the time. I couldn't deal with that and wanted space.

Former Member

What about the fact you can have sex with whoever you want, No strings attached.

Former Member

I know so many of my friends have said they feel happier because although it hurts, they realised that they were either feeling constrained or unhappy but they just weren't realising the extent to which still being with the person was affecting their life.

Former Member

I recently came across this quote; "it's better to break your own heart by leaving, rather than having that person break your heart everyday you're with them". It reminded me of this thread.

I didn't think I'd ever cope when I split up with my ex boyfriend but in the longer term it makes you so much stronger and you're able to use an experience like that for the better. I think break ups are good sometimes because you get stuck in a certain mindset, the both of you, and to really move on from that you just need time apart. It's very easy to forget what a relationship should be like because imo you're at your most vulnerable - I think the focus can easily be lost. Break ups help you remember, and as weird as this sounds to me, they give you strength.

Former Member

I came across this article on Twitter - '5 reasons you should thank the person who broke your heart' - and it reminded me of this thread.

I really like this bit:

You see, heartbreak is an awful but necessary part of life. It's how we grow. It's how we learn to survive. And, most importantly, it's proof that life goes on.

It really focuses on the upsides and reiterates that moving on is possible, even though it might not feel like it at the time :yes:

Former Member

There are some brilliant posts on here. :yes:

I totally agree with butterfly that when you are in the process of breaking up, you are in a certain headspace, breaking up is in itself heart-wrenching, sometimes it can lead you in the direction of something better.

Someone once told me, when I was 16, and breaking up with my first BF - that it's like being in a tunnel - all you can see is the dark - and no light. There is a light at the end, but you have to keep on going with you life, to finally see it. I thought it was a right cliche at the time (!) but now I can look back and see actually - there was a lot of truth in it.

I think one of the upsides of breaking up is re-connecting with your mates - and getting them more involved in your life. Is this something a lot of other people have found too?