Anxiety in relationships - Do I have anxiety?

Former Member

So I got my first boyfriend and we've been together for a month now. And in the last couple weeks I keep getting thoughts in my head about him cheating and about what if I loose him? I'm going to paste my journal entry here because this goes into it a bit more - but what I want to know is if I have some form of anxiety or if this is normal???

For reference: James = My boyfriend | Olivia = friend
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James was supposed to be coming to spend the night today, but he said he didn't really feel up to doing anything and that he just wanted stare at a screen and stay in bed all day and just be on his own. So we made plans that I'll go over to his tomorrow afternoon.

Olivia came over later to play The Sims for about an hour and I talked to her about how | keep getting anxious that James might cheat on me or do something with another guy at a party or something like that. She said that I have nothing to worry about - and in my head I know that, James promised me because I talked to him about it but I just can't get the thoughts to go away.

Then when Olivia left I lay on my bed and started crying my eyes out, because I miss James - this never happened before. So I'm worried that I have some kind of separation anxiety because I only saw him on Wednesday and that doesn't seem such a long time ago. Most weeks though I've been with James at the weekend so maybe I'm just a bit 'shocked'?? I don't know!

It's not just the separation either, sometimes my head goes into a complete overdrive and I start thinking about what would happen if I lose James - like if he died! And it's a horrible thing to think, I just cant help the thoughts.

I'm worried that I have some form of anxiety but I don't know!

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Can somebody give me some help because I really don't know what's going on in my head.

Thank you,
GayUnicorn

Former Member

Hey there,

Welcome to the boards! I’m so sorry we didn’t pick this up sooner - it sounds like you were wrestling with some difficult thoughts and feelings at the time you posted this. We are here for you

It is normal to have some worries in a relationship, especially when it’s still quite new to you. Feeling anxious or nervous in between dates is common too, and it can be overwhelming. It’s good that you were able to talk to your friend about how you were feeling. It seems that you really like James, as you said you were missing him and worried about losing him. Perhaps on that particular night he had his own reasons for not feeling up for coming over, and I wonder if you’ve discussed that with him?

You mentioned that you know you don’t need to worry, as you have talked to James about it. Although he reassured you then, your thoughts seem to be unshakable. Have you spoken to him anymore about your worries since you posted?

It can be a horrible and consuming feeling when you’re by yourself and the thoughts take over. You can keep posting here, and it might be worth taking a look at this article on TheSite – it might help you to make a little sense of things. If you are worried about your feelings of anxiety, your GP is a good port of call.

Let us know how you’re getting on *hug*