What would happen if i told my college tutor that i self harm?

Former Member

I am planning on telling my college tutor that i self harm once i go back to college in September but i am really scared about doing it.
Has anyone else on here done or know of anyone who has done it?
What were the reaction from the teacher?
What did the teacher do?

Former Member

I think it's generally different with each individual. It's worth asking about their confidentiality agreement first to see if they can/will pass it on to family/others in college.

When I first started college I was in a very bad place and I opened up to a teacher about my self harm, she made sure I was okay throughout the year but she never passed it on to anybody else even though she was probably supposed to do so. She was extremely lovely and supportive about it and it really helped me get through the year

In my second year I told a different teacher (they kinda saw it so I didn't really have a choice), this teacher told my head of year and passed an email on to the Pastoral/Positive intervention team and also referred me to the college counsellor, this teacher was a bit of a douche and I chose not to engage with the support I was offered simply in spite of said teacher.

Best of luck with whatever you decide! Even considering to tell a teacher is a really brave move

Former Member

Thank you for that and telling me about your experience Hiccup

Here is the letter that i plan to give to my college tutor/teacher in September (sorry its so long)

Hello,
I am writing to you because I feel there is something which is important which you should really know, I have been thinking about if I should tell you or not since August because it’s a very personal and quite upsetting topic but I thought to myself that if you knew then you would understand my behaviour better and why I am so withdrawn.

I really don’t know how to tell you this so I will start from the beginning and then get to the main problem, as you may know one of my friends took his own life on the last week of the last academic year and it hit me like a brick and has brought up many bad emotions and I haven’t been coping with these very well, before losing my friend I had been coping with panic attacks due to an hidden issue which I now know was of was generalized anxiety disorder and I am more sensitive to stress and I find talking to a group of people more daunting than most other people. Anyway, after my friend took his own life a week after that another one of my friends tried to take her own life and that only made me feel worse and I started to feel more upset and beginning to get worried about myself as I found it hard to even get out of bed in the morning sometimes so that was the point when I knew things had to change for the better so I started talking to Childline.

But then realising that talking to people around me were a lot harder than I thought and trying to tell people around me seemed like an impossible task so I turned to self-harm, I took my upset, frustration and anger out on myself, I know it is wrong but it feels like the only way which I could release those emotions, on the 7^th August I finally went to see a doctor and my cousin came with me as I told him everything via Facebook and the doctor basically told me that I need to stop, diagnosed me with depression, generalized anxiety disorder and gave me a leaflet about self-referring to a local cognitive behavioral therapy service so I done that and when writing this letter I still haven’t started therapy.

My parents know that I have self-referred for therapy and that I have anxiety issues but that’s it and if possible I would very much want to keep this confidential but at the very most I wouldn’t mind my other subjects teachers to know about this matter.

I am improving and going more and more days without self-harming and I have today (14^th august) been 10 days clean and I hope it stays that way but I do have tough days and I go through rocky parts…I am still the ambitious and hard working person that I used to be but I just wanted you to know about this.

Former Member

Notagainvitelina wrote: »

Hiya J

First of all well fucking done on being clean, it's still an achievement! *gets out maracas* you should be so so proud of yourself because i would have been if i were you.:yes:

You've come a long way from reaching out and getting help, im glad that you're thinking about letting people know because with knowledge comes understanding and hopefully it would mean that people would be able to help more whilst not saying/making unhelpful coments.

I did last year tell all my teachers about what was going in on and i felt relieved, actually telling them that i weren't taking the piss at all by not coming in or avoiding lessons made me feel less like a mess. Unfortunately when i told one teacher (after getting nowhere with the NHS) she broke my confidentiality. I didn't think talking about this would bring up strong emotions but i felt really humiliated and ashamed but i now know that it was part of safe guarding and because if conflict of interest.

If confidentiality is blown just be mindful that it's part of the safeguarding rule that all colleges have.

Wish you all the best J, don't let if put you off either honestly it's wit your best interest. :yes:*hug*

Thank you Notagainvitelina, yes i am so proud of myself, it has taken alot of determination to get where i am now and yes i know all the about the safeguarding rules but as much as i dont want my parents to know about it all i feel they should know so im not too worried about that, i just want my teachers to understand what im going through and to understand why i may be acting differently or if my behavior is worse than it used to be and hoping they can get me some support while im at college.

Thank you for sharing your experience, i have been googling about other people's experiences with telling there teacher about there self harm and it has all basically been very positive so im definitely going to give it a go, even if i have to just write out a letter and give it to my college tutor or my english teacher.

I will keep you all updated on how it goes, i will tell one of them on the first week of going back to college, i go back on the 8th September.

Thank you again for all the support :wave: