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coping with change and support ending
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys,
I've been under the crisis team for a little over a month now, and my final meeting with them is tomorrow.
Since I started working with them rather than against them, I've found them really helpful so I'm extremely worried about how things might be when I don't have them anymore.
I think what worried me the most is that they work 8am-10pm so I've been able to ring them anytime when I've been panicking or I've been trying to fight certain urges, and hearing them talk to me how they would has managed to calm me a lot of the time because I feel like I wouldn't want to let them down when they've been so supportive.
I'm scared that I'm going to get extremely bad again and go back to square one, and end up letting every single person down that have tried to help me recently. And I think being such a let down in itself will cause my mental health to get worse again.
I just wondered if anyone has felt like this before and how they've coped with such a big change, and one that doesn't feel like it'll go well in any way at all. And what could I do when I'll no longer have anyone to ring between the hours of 5pm-10pm? Weekends have always been the worse part of a week for me too, and all the other people I could ring between 9am-5pm don't work at the weekend.
I've been under the crisis team for a little over a month now, and my final meeting with them is tomorrow.
Since I started working with them rather than against them, I've found them really helpful so I'm extremely worried about how things might be when I don't have them anymore.
I think what worried me the most is that they work 8am-10pm so I've been able to ring them anytime when I've been panicking or I've been trying to fight certain urges, and hearing them talk to me how they would has managed to calm me a lot of the time because I feel like I wouldn't want to let them down when they've been so supportive.
I'm scared that I'm going to get extremely bad again and go back to square one, and end up letting every single person down that have tried to help me recently. And I think being such a let down in itself will cause my mental health to get worse again.
I just wondered if anyone has felt like this before and how they've coped with such a big change, and one that doesn't feel like it'll go well in any way at all. And what could I do when I'll no longer have anyone to ring between the hours of 5pm-10pm? Weekends have always been the worse part of a week for me too, and all the other people I could ring between 9am-5pm don't work at the weekend.
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I had a connection with them when I was seeing them more often and able to go to them anytime as you said, if you have a problem you can call them and text them and they will be there.
Eventually things started to come to an end when I had about two years being with them and it was only that I started to get better that I was nerves wether or not I would be able to cope on my own.
They told me what was going to happen, me being already tense and nerves I shared my thoughts and feelings to them about wether or not I would be able to cope.
Speaking to them made me feel a lot better to how I was feeling and they told me it's understandable that I'm feeling this way and the one thing they said was that they can honestly say that I will not go back to how I was because I am in a more postive and stable position then I once was.
That stuck with me forever and when it came to me being discharged I remembered what they said then I took it upon myself to keep moving forward with the confidence and postive energy I built with them.
Only, I know there will be times when you will get down and need someone there to help you out etc and that's not a problem.
You just have to surround yourself with the people that care about you and that is family and friends. The closest people to you.
If things do get bad and take a turn for the worse then you could always go back to your GP anytime to recieve help and support.
Also there's always The Samaritans who are there day and night who will be there to listen to you when you need it.
However, whatever you do please speak to someone first.
I hope things work out for you and keep in touch x
Crazy Cat x
I'm glad that you've been finding them useful, that's really great news.
I've also been in the position of support ending and not really known how to be okay without it. Could you maybe have a think about what it is that has helped you - I know you have said them talking to you - but was it something you said or just that someone was there to talk to you? Is there any way of replicating this? Also consider if you have gained any coping mechanisms to help you - and put together a toolkit of things you know who will help.
We're always here for you, and like CrazyCat has suggested, there are also helplines who can help you. Just try not to pressure yourself and thinking that anything bad that happens is letting them down - recovery (if I may use that word) is a really hard path and there will be bumps along the way. It really is small steps.
For me, I tried to take away the things I had learnt and wasn't afraid to seek out new help if that was what I felt I needed. I also wrote down a lot about my experiences to try and remember for the future so I could try to emulate that thinking again (if that makes sense!)
I think what helped is that I had someone to let it out to without having to hold too much back, but also they learnt that if they specifically told me not to do something - such as drinking any more than I'd already had or overdosing - I wouldn't go through with urges at that specific time because I learnt to trust them to enough to actually listen to them.
Before, because they know that I like to write in my diary sometimes, they did suggest me giving that a try when I get the urges rather than actually after I've done something to harm myself. I just think it's easier said than done because a diary can't talk back to me - a diary can't tell me that I'm not being sensible and a diary can't tell me a different perspective regarding whatever is playing on my mind at that given time.
They gave me sheets so that I can fill in what activities I'm going to do and on what day, so that I've got more of a set plan because keeping busy seems to give me that responsibility that I need. I have been finding it pretty difficult to stay motivated recently but I'm trying and I do think there has been even a little improvement in terms of how much I do try to be okay. But equally, I've always spoken to someone from the team about what activities I have planned or what they think I could put down when I'm in that moment of not being able to make a decision myself. Also, when I am finding it hard to carry out the activities, they've given me that pep talk I need to hear.
I know it sounds like I'm reliant on them but I tried to avoid it - I tried to be adamant that I wasn't going to engage with them. It just sucks that whenever I build actual trust with someone, the majority of the time, it's just ripped away and there hasn't really been much warning. Okay, I knew from the start that they're a short term team but it does feel like when I have started to make a bit of progress, it's all going to have been for nothing. A weekend could be all it takes for things to get extremely bad again - and this weekend, I'll have no crisis support, but it feels like I do still need it.
Anyway, after we had spoken about the reason I rang and I'd calmed down, we were still chatting and we ended up getting onto the subject of being discharged from that team. I did end up crying again but we had a really good chat about it. I don't want to go into any detail about the things she said because it feels really personal to my specific situation but it really did help talking to her specifically about how I feel because I felt able to be a lot more honest and open and there was so much depth and detail in the conversation, from both mine and her perspective, regarding the last month.
I think talking about it with her has made it feel a little bit easier. I know it is going to be really tough but I suppose it's worth remembering I do have other people working with me and I do get along quite well with them - plus I think once I get used to the change of routine, in terms of no longer having the crisis team as much as I have done recently, then I'm hoping soon I'll just be able to look back on it sometimes and feel happy rather than sad - be grateful for how much they've helped me to learn about myself.
I am still allowed to ring them if I need to but I think I'm going to be okay. It's Sunday tomorrow, so I can still use them like normal if I need to, and I'm getting discharged on Monday but I know I'm speaking to one of my workers on Monday - then on Tuesday I'm seeing another of my workers, and a few people are phoning me to arrange meetings and to have a chat so it's going to be a busy appointment filled week again. I think I'm strong enough to get hold of one of my workers if I want to talk, so if I can do that throughout next week, I think it's going to get me a lot more used to the idea of not relying on the crisis team as much as I have been.
Anyway, off to bed now! Thanks again for your replies guys.
Hi butterfly *hug*
Just want to give you a hug!
You're not on your own with it, and it's not weak to feel scared and freaked out by it. If you feel you need to reach out and seek support then by all means go for it, it's better to say you something and get the spport you need, than feel you are letting people down. :yes:
How are things going today?
I'm doing okay today actually. I cancelled the appointment I had yesterday with my mental support worker but she wants to meet today so that's soon and despite the fact I've drank a little bit, I do feel really confident in the fact that I can and will let her in and it's nice knowing that it's just a chat because I could say anything and I know she'll listen. We meet in a quiet cafe usually and have a cup of tea so I think that takes a lot of pressure off in itself.
Overall, I think today is going to be a good one. I feel comfortable in my outfit which is always nice and even though I've got my hair up today, I really like it. I've taken my meds, I'm about to go for a walk, I've had a natter with another worker - so far so good.
It seems that as hard as it felt to get discharged from the crisis team, realising that I'm coping so much better than I expected without them has really hit hard in a positive way and it's easy enough to focus on the support I do have and the future. I'm aware some days are going to be extremely tough in terms of my mental health but it just makes me want to make the most of a good day when they happen
I met a male nurse who I'm supposed to get into contact with as it'll be easy if I immediately need someone but I don't know him. I met him but I didn't say anything to him so I'm not suddenly going to call and be like "this and this is going through my mind and I want to do this for this reason" because I do not talk like that to people I don't have that trust with.
It's stupid. I'm driving myself much more insane and I know what I should do to try and calm myself down but it doesn't seem worth it when I'd only be letting myself down. This is when I would usually ring crisis but I can't do that. And not being able to get in touch with anyone else easily, apart from the man I don't know - it makes me feel more alone than ever.
Everyone seems to have it in their head that I've got the strength but I don't believe that. I think I've improved as much as possible but I'll still always be stuck in some sort of awful cycle because I think that's who I am.
And people said I wouldn't be alone.
I'm glad you were feeling like you were coping well *hug*
I know your missing the crisis team and it maybe you won't get your head around it after a few days but just remember that you have done well whilst you been with them.
I know it dont seem like it at the moment but things will get better. You seem to have support on place and able to still speak to the crisis team.
You mentioned this male nurse. What will he be able to help you with? Have you spoken to him about how your feeling?
Please remember to keep reaching out
Crazy Cat x
How are you doing at the moment?
Do keep us updated on how things are going for you Butterfly.
I'm doing okay but have drunk quite a bit today.
Sorry to hear you haven't managed to score an appt yet with your mental health team, I can only imagine how frustrating that must be for you!! - Defo worth trying to text him if you have his number though? I know when my mental health team tried to get through to me they couldn't as they had the wrong house address written down for me. Might be worth dropping a line with the key person you worked with and asking them to try and get in contact if you felt uncomfortable doing so yourself?
Finding it really hard to exist properly today. A few meetings but I just want to avoid the outside world and hide under the cover or something. Need to get more alcohol at some point though. I hate such low days like today.
Just wanted to drop by and see how you are getting along today? Im sorry you were having a tough time of it yesterday. I hope you are feeling a bit stronger today - let us know how you are doing :yes:
Big hugs to you *hug*
In other news, GP gave me a number to get straight through to our of hours if I need someone on a weekend or evening. I rang and they're not even open at weekends. My GP is amazing and I get on really well with him, but I feel so let down in general when I've nobody to turn to at a weekend, and I feel like utter shit so I just want to have a bit of a chat really. GP has mentioned referring me back to the crisis team because apparently everyone is hugely concerned again for whatever reason, but I'm at the point now where I'll just feel stupid if I'm referred back to them.