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Which one?!?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
NOTE: Names have been changed to protect the confused (me <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">)
Been going out with my gf, we`ll call her Claire, for about 2 months now, everything was fine up until the other day when I realised I had feelings for her best friend Lisa.
Because they slept with each other's boyfriends a while back and stayed friends, we sometimes piss about byme walking around with my arm around Lisa and Claire has her arm around Michael (Lisa`s bf). It was a laugh until I realised that I was starting to like Lisa ALOT.
I try and compare them, hoping that Claire wins but Lisa comes up trumps every time. I can`t get her out of my head and whenever I try and think of Claire, she is replaced by Lisa.
Lisa and I have alot more in common than me and Claire but I very much doubt she would seriously consider going out with me ever.
So do I get it off my chest, tell her how I feel and hope everything gets better after that, or keep it hidden and try and forget it?
I`m such a confused little Leviathan (if ure not a Farscape fan, don't even try and get that <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">)
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
Been going out with my gf, we`ll call her Claire, for about 2 months now, everything was fine up until the other day when I realised I had feelings for her best friend Lisa.
Because they slept with each other's boyfriends a while back and stayed friends, we sometimes piss about byme walking around with my arm around Lisa and Claire has her arm around Michael (Lisa`s bf). It was a laugh until I realised that I was starting to like Lisa ALOT.
I try and compare them, hoping that Claire wins but Lisa comes up trumps every time. I can`t get her out of my head and whenever I try and think of Claire, she is replaced by Lisa.
Lisa and I have alot more in common than me and Claire but I very much doubt she would seriously consider going out with me ever.
So do I get it off my chest, tell her how I feel and hope everything gets better after that, or keep it hidden and try and forget it?
I`m such a confused little Leviathan (if ure not a Farscape fan, don't even try and get that <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">)
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
0
Comments
However, if you think that you have a good relationship with your current gf and think it's worth saving, then don't say anything.
If you'd be comfortable with your gf sleeping with the other girl's bf then you might want to seriously suggest doing a switcheroo but again, that might end the relationship, and at best, you'd only have one night with the girl you fancy.
Basically you need to run up a pros and cons list for staying in the relationship or not. Ask yourself questions like: How much do you care about your gf? Are you willing to risk everything for nothing? How much will you hurt your gf if you tell her the truth? How serious are the girl you like and her bf? etc.....
good luck! my best advice is try to do what's best for everyone, not just yourself.
You really do need to think things throughm if your relationship doesn't mean that much to you anymore then you should finish it early instead of dragging her along for the ride and it all coming crashing down.
Good luck with whatever you decide.. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
And as for the switcheroo, that was when they were both going out with someone else and they both ended their relationships with the blokes, although that was because they continued denying anything happened even after Claire and Lisa had told each other the truth.
Unfortunately, now its a moot point as I`ve just heard that Lisa and Michael might be engaged and she might be pregnant, dunno if its true yet.
Guess fate has made my decision for me.
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
[This message has been edited by Talyn (edited 18-06-2001).]
But I do agree with what amadee wrote, it's very good advice (as always <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> )
If I had this option in relation to Jack (guy I fancy) I'd jump at it, IMHO anything is better than nothing, and memories last forever....
And very true, even if it was just a 1-niter, the memories would last forever...
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
Wildchild has a point that it's not fair to your gf to drag the relationship along if you fancy someone else more. However, if you're sure you have no chance with Lisa, I'd try and work on your relationship with Claire a little before you break it. It sucks to be told suddenly that you feel differently and not even try to repair the relationship beforehand (grrrrr!!!!!!!! if you hadn't guessed this just happened to me)
Me and 'Claire' are going out with 'Lisa' and 'Michael' on Saturday so I`m bound to find out then.
If its true then it looks like the man upstairs has made my decision for me, huh?
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
if she's not pregnant, and you really care for lisa, think hard about what you are going to do. if she's happy with michael, you have to let things run their course, even if its painful for you. you can wreck all four of your lives and lose both claire and lisa if it goes wrong. i don't know if lisa is giving you any signals, but if she isn't, then make sure you know what you about to lose if you tell lisa and she doesn't feel the same.
and i'm also in agreement with wild and amadee. if you don't love claire, is it really fair to stay with her, especially if you are in love with someone else? you might want to think about letting her go and being honest with her as to why. she deserves that much.
good luck dude.
As for signals, well there was some flirting in the pub on Saturday night, but I`m not sure if it was REAL flirting or she was just pissing about cos she and Claire had been talking about the whole 'sleeping with each other's boyfriends' thing earlier and she may have just been winding Claire up. That`s really what`s got me confused.
I`m not sure if I love either of them, all I know is I like Lisa more than Claire. Love is sort of a foreign emotion to me. I`m very careful about who I let close and to be frank, I wouldn`t know love if it came up and kicked me in the mommy-daddy button.
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
well me for one. i agree with you 110%. *sigh*
looks like youve got it figured out then so i have nothing more to add <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
~ Nietzsche
It was all a wind up to piss someone off and they were afraid I`d give it away as I`m friends with the person they were trying to wind up.
I know every1 is probably sick of me by now but I still can`t decide what to do.
Even worse, I was at my ouse with Claire today, no one around, but I felt so guilty every time she touched me. I kept finding excuses to not get close and when she noticed something wrong I just said it was something 'personal' that I had to sort out on my own.
Please help, this is tearing me apart.
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
[This message has been edited by Talyn (edited 19-06-2001).]
it's obvious that you don't feel the same for her anymore. this isn't gonna go away either. if you don't love her anymore.. then you need to let her go, otherwise, ur just using her. and that will lead to a messy messy break up.
right now, you have a chance to walk away from this in a manner where you can at least still be friends with her.
once you've broken with claire, you can chase lisa if you like. but if you do, you might want to consider telling claire that you are going to do that. because friends do talk, and it's gonna be worse if she finds out from lisa you broke with her to pursue lisa.
good luck dude.
Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."