Friends or Lovers?

Former Member

My best friend (boy) and i have had a really close relationship over the past 2 years. He used to fancy me but we knew we couldn't take it any further for a couple of reasons.

However, the other night we went out and it stirred all my feelings up again and made me realise that i do like more than i friend.

The thing is what should i do? We're always trying to set each other up with other people - could this be a way of hiding our feelings?

We finish school in May so should i leave it until then?

HELLLLPpp!!! (please) <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">

Former Member

hi
i had a similar experience about a year ago. i had known the guy since i was 4 though. since u have only known this bloke 4 2 years maybe it will b ok and not end up in disaster. i am mates again with him but it still feels a bit weird.
if he really is ur mate and u went out and broke up, yeah he would b hurt, but i dont think he would let u down or just stop liking u as a mate coz u didnt work out as a girlfriend.
<IMG alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">

Former Member

Cheers! What happens if i "lay all my cards on the table" and he says no?

P.S ive known him 5 years <IMG alt="image" SRC="cool.gif" border="0">

Former Member

Originally posted by buglove:
<STRONG>Cheers! What happens if i "lay all my cards on the table" and he says no?

P.S ive known him 5 years <IMG alt="image" SRC="cool.gif" border="0"></STRONG>

you get a bit embarassed. It might be a bit awkward for a week or two when every now and a again you think of it. No big deal.

And if he comes back to you in 4 months time and says "you know you said... well, I've been thinking...", you can get your revenge or reward

Former Member

Originally posted by Carriage Return:
<STRONG>


And if he comes back to you in 4 months time and says "you know you said... well, I've been thinking...", you can get your revenge or reward</STRONG>

I like you style! i think ill try it out!
<IMG alt="image" SRC="wink.gif" border="0">

Former Member

my advice is to not tell him. Save the friendship that you already have, rather than destroying it.
A while back, my best mate (male) told me he fancied me, and pestered me to go out with him. I buckled under pressure, from him and my friends, and said yes. I then realised that i wasn't comfortable being his girlfriend, and broke up with him the next day. The whole situation completely ruined our friendship, and now, we are just friends, but nothing like we were. We were extremely close, but now, we only see each other every now and then (except at skool).
I say keep the friendship you have.
But, I am just one opinion out of millions of peoples........ Do what YOU feel is right.
Follow YOUR heart.
Best Wishes, TheShyGirlBeth <IMG alt="image" SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0"> xxx

Former Member

Follow your heart. One thing that struck me about ShyGirlBeth's story is that she felt pestered to go out with the guy. However if u just let them know how you feel and then leave it to them, then its up to them to make the next move, htey know how you feel and if they feel the same they will let you know. If you are as close as you say you are, you'll either end up going out, or just remain close friends. I was in the same situation, and he didn't like me back, but we stayed close friends. But I agree with what ShyGirlBeth said at the end... follow your heart.

Former Member

The relationship changed when your feelings changed, even if he doesn't know it yet.
You have to be happy with yourself first and foremost and you can't be happy seeing this guy regularly and keeping strong emotions inside. Over time you will start to resent him even if he is oblivious to your feelings.

You have no option but to tell him that you feel more for him than just friendship and you hoped that he might feel that way too. Tell him that you don't want to pressure him into anything and if he doesn't feel the same way that's ok.

The difference is that you will have been honest and you will feel better for telling him. Over time this is the best option for you to be happy with yourself long term.

I hope it works out for you.

Former Member

I see what you meen about hiding feelings - he told me a while bk he liked me but we both sed nothing could happen - since then we have tried to set each other up with different ppl - is this a way of hiding our true feelings?

He's never been out with ne1 and is quite nervous etc and i dont no if this would hinder a relationship! <IMG alt="image" SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0">

Former Member

Sit down and talk to him about it but don't leave it until may you may have changed your mind by then.

Former Member

I think that u trying to set each other up could well be a sign that you are attracted to each other.
It shows you are very comfortable with each other for example.
You say he's not been out with someone before and is nervous. Well maybe subconciously this is his way of dealing with it. He doesn't have the confidence to get with you himself so he'll kinda try and do it by proxy and make you happy, which would be his aim too.
Maybe he's also trying to sus out who and what you like. He can then attempt to imitate those that you do fancy and so win your affections. Now regardless of what that may say about him, I advocate that feelings are strange things that make you do even stranger stuff - often without realising.

Of course he could just be a really good, close friend.

I weigh up situations like this up like so:
How happy will I be if it goes how I want?, and how unhappy will I be if it goes badly?

True it can ruin a friendship to express your feelings, but it is possible for it not to as well.
Once I flirted with and kissed a girl I knew. We both agreed afterwards that it was a bad idea, sorted out our feelings for each other and realised what other reasons had made us do it. As a result we feel a lot closer to each other.

Former Member

dude post dead