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first time traumas

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
me and my boyfriend are nearin stage where we both want to hav sex but i am virgin. i am wanting to do it but i am pretty damn nervous coz its all so new to me. i like the sound of stuff like a guy goin down on me and i want to pleaz him as much as he would me but it all just seems to...weird. like for instance...havin a guys penis in ur mouth and stuff. so i guess im just askin u lot to help me out by tellin me what to expect and how u overcame (pardon the pun) all the first times..like first blow job...first time guy went down on u...first hand job. cheers dears. x x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well something that makes sex easier is doing stuff like handjobs first and him doing stuff to you coz then you get to know what each other likes and get comfortable around each other.

    just start out with basic thing and then work your way up to sex or blow jobs and it actually isnt that scary once you get started. just relax is the best thing i can think to say
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My advice would be to take things slowly, start off kissing and touching then whatever happens, happens, dont rush into anything you dont wanna do. Cant speak on behalf of women but as a male i found natural instinct kicks in and you seem to know what to do.

    Obviously neither of you are gonna be great but as long as you both enjoy the experience everything's sound.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It comes naturally just dont put it so far in that you choke! the head is very sensitive, try licking gently sucking at first take your time! I am sure the boys can tell us how they like it.
    When i was younger and asking advice my sisters told me to close my eyes and pretend it was a lolly pop!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you're going to give him a blow job and he's not too used to them, make sure you hold onto the base of his penis. that way you can control the motion and he won't accidentally shove it down your throat. actually that is just good advice whether he is used to it or not. nothing worse that some guy trying to choke you so bad you actually vomit (yes - it happened to me - but it won't happen to you if you follow my advice!!!!)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take it slowly, don't do anything you aren't comfortable with, talk your apprehensions etc through with your partner (embarrassing at first, but if you are willing to get that intimate with them you should be able to talk about it too).
    Take care and above all have fun

    Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds a copout, but like everyone says, it all sort of comes naturally. The first hand job I gave out was waaay too soon into our relationship (we'd been going out two weeks <IMG SRC="redface.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> ) but basically it happened because my boyfriend started things off by putting his hands down my knickers, and so I thought I'd better do something too..it wasn't really pre-meditated, it just sort of happened and turned out to be fun! After that things progressed quite slowly, which was cool because it gave us time to get to know our bodies and it meant each time we 'progressed' a stage was no huge deal and just seemed natural. I have to admit feeling almost a bit disturbed the first time my boyfriend went down on me, but once the bizarreness of it faded I was able to get used to it and could then relax and enjoy it properly <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> For some reason going down on him seemed much less bizarre. Before, I found the idea of blowjobs really offputting, but I found I actually quite enjoy giving them and it's not as bad as it sounds...

    First sex, well, it helped the fact that I was totally in love with my boyfriend, because, as everyone's already said, the first time is unlikely to be technically brilliant, and actually I probably wouldn't have been able to tell if it was, 'cos I still felt a bit nervous and was worrying whether I was doing it 'right' or not to properly enjoy it. It also was a bit chaotic, because for some reason I was on top (not the easiest position to start with?? A possible tip of what not to do there...) and he kept 'falling out' and I wasn't sure who's fault that was <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    Edited to add just go with the flow, take your time, do things at your own speed, and you can't go far wrong. And also being able to TALK about it must help as well...

    [ 13-05-2002: Message edited by: Meryn ]
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