this summer

Former Member

Ok due to this summer me and my bf of 4 months are thinking about whether to break up or not. We both will have very different lives seperate from one another by 2 hours drive. Then theres jobs and holidays and his gigs which may well prevent us from seeing each other. He says the only way we can see each other is if he wins the lottery and we buy a house and move in together. Please help I feel ill just thinking about it. I know both of us think a great deal of each other and claim to be in love.

Former Member

If you love each other then the distance shouldn't matter. :yuck: but true!

Why don't you go to the gigs together, and on holiday together? If you have money to do these things, surely you can afford the train fare?!

Former Member

A long-distance relationship can survive if both people are totally willing to put absolute effort into ensuring that it works and really want to it work.

If you chat frequently by whatever means, such as telephone, email, internet, text, and meet as often as possible, I don't see any reason why it should not work.

You will both be back at uni in Sept or Oct, which is not far away.

You both must ask yourselves whether you are really willing and happy to put 100% effort into the relationship and whether you are 100% sure that you want it to work. Your answers to these questions will guide you about what to do.

Former Member

It depends on how much you really think of each other - you say you 'claim to be in love;' what does that mean? Do you care enough about each other for it to be worth still being together by the end of the summer?

If you're worried you'd be unhappy all the time and would rather not face the difficulties, ie would rather forget about him, have fun doing what you want and be able to meet other guys without feeling guilty, then maybe you should just break up.

To be honest though, if you mean that much to one another, it shouldn't be too hard.

Former Member

It sounds to me like he's the one who's unsure about your relationship. I mean...

What kind of man would use an excuse as fantastical as 'only if I win the lottery' to be with the girl he loves? Sounds to me like he wants to be free to do what he wants this summer.

Former Member

Re: this summer

Originally posted by jacaranda
Ok due to this summer me and my bf of 4 months are thinking about whether to break up or not. We both will have very different lives seperate from one another by 2 hours drive. Then theres jobs and holidays and his gigs which may well prevent us from seeing each other. He says the only way we can see each other is if he wins the lottery and we buy a house and move in together. Please help I feel ill just thinking about it. I know both of us think a great deal of each other and claim to be in love.

if u want my advice, i think u shud break up, see how it goes. ull soon c that there are plenty more fish in the sea, and so will he.

Former Member

Unless there are other reasons you have for having doubts about your relationship, the summer holidays shouldn't have to mean the end. It's only 3 months and I'm sure you'll find time to visit each other at some point, like weekends and things. God bless National Express! And for the inbetween times you can phone, write and e-mail.....

Ok, all this is assuming you're both going back to uni next year, but even if he's graduating, it can still work. My boyfriend left uni 2 years ago and we're still together, despite having to go through long periods of not seeing each other. It can be done

Former Member

Originally posted by Meryn
Unless there are other reasons you have for having doubts about your relationship, the summer holidays shouldn't have to mean the end. It's only 3 months and I'm sure you'll find time to visit each other at some point, like weekends and things. God bless National Express! And for the inbetween times you can phone, write and e-mail.....

Ok, all this is assuming you're both going back to uni next year, but even if he's graduating, it can still work. My boyfriend left uni 2 years ago and we're still together, despite having to go through long periods of not seeing each other. It can be done

there r many views on ur situation, Meryn has a good point, i would agree with her point!

Former Member

Originally posted by Seven_VII
there r many views on ur situation, Meryn has a good point, i would agree with her point!

A minute ago you were wholeheartedly advocating them breaking up! I think a lot of it's a matter of perspective and maturity - if you were about 14 and in a similar situation, then yeah you probably would break up, as the relationship probably wouldn't be terribly serious anyway and hey you'd want to pull on holiday :rolleyes: and move on the the next one, but things are slightly more complicated when you're older and more involved.

Shit that sounds patronising....:o

Former Member

i did say that there r alot of things one can do in her situation. also, u can agree with more than one solution to her situation..........