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for the girl whos boyfriend won't set a date
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello - I can't find your original post...
I've been thinking about your problem (You've been engaged for ages and yet your boyfrined won't talk about setting a date for the wedding)
I advised earlier that you should start planning it and get him to go see the vicar but I think I was wrong.
Perhaps he is trying to make you insecure, i.e you keep going on about it and he knows it is the one thing he can hold over you?
My advice would be to lay off asking him about it. I'm not a fan of game playing so I'm not suggesting you do a massive about turn and pretend you've lost interest but I think it may be interesting to see his reaction if you stopped making it into an issue and started to get on with planning other things instead?
For example - Do you still have much of a social life outside of your relationship, has he put you in a situation where you are so worried he doesn't really want to be with you that he can keep you in your place by dangling the possibility of not marrying you in front of you like a carrot that keeps you in limbo but firmly by his side just waiting and waiting?
I think you should go and join that night class you've always wanted to, find some kind of interest that does not include him but is good for you. Perhaps in a small way this will make him realise that if he is not prepared to live up to his promise you may just start finding other things that are more important!
I've been thinking about your problem (You've been engaged for ages and yet your boyfrined won't talk about setting a date for the wedding)
I advised earlier that you should start planning it and get him to go see the vicar but I think I was wrong.
Perhaps he is trying to make you insecure, i.e you keep going on about it and he knows it is the one thing he can hold over you?
My advice would be to lay off asking him about it. I'm not a fan of game playing so I'm not suggesting you do a massive about turn and pretend you've lost interest but I think it may be interesting to see his reaction if you stopped making it into an issue and started to get on with planning other things instead?
For example - Do you still have much of a social life outside of your relationship, has he put you in a situation where you are so worried he doesn't really want to be with you that he can keep you in your place by dangling the possibility of not marrying you in front of you like a carrot that keeps you in limbo but firmly by his side just waiting and waiting?
I think you should go and join that night class you've always wanted to, find some kind of interest that does not include him but is good for you. Perhaps in a small way this will make him realise that if he is not prepared to live up to his promise you may just start finding other things that are more important!
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