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Funny classified ad headlines.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
In the US you can write your own ad and put it in a newspaper if you want to sell something.

Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE BITCH.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT... BEEN OUT AWHILE... BETTER BE A REWARD.
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT HARING AND
FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS &BOX SPRINGS - $175.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER &DRYER $300.
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &DONUTS
(AND THE BEST ONE)
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married ast month. Wife knows everything.

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Funny classified ad headlines.
    Originally posted by pnjsurferpoet
    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT HARING AND
    FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 -- $9 PER HOUR.

    ok, who would accept that? :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude. Thread. Dead.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    best ad ever in the portsmouth news a few weeks ago, for a guys 21st

    'hip hip hooray! craigys 21 today! hes got the key to the door never been 21 before. mum and dad xxx'

    i would have died of shame
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wanted: Woman to cook and clean. Must have boat and motor. Send photo of boat and motor.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    best i remember seeing was 9in the manchester evening news in the seventies.
    patel and patel builders.
    you've tried the cowboys ...now try the indians.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for a second there i thought that bastard was back on the boards.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who was he? And what did he do?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *x*franki chicken*x*
    Who was he? And what did he do?

    i don't see you post often on the politics board but he was the old lukesh, pure dick (not implying luke's a dick or anything)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by turlough
    i don't see you post often on the politics board but he was the old lukesh, pure dick (not implying luke's a dick or anything)

    I've never been in the Politics forum...

    What did he do to get banned though?

    I spent my first month or so on here hanging around Health and Relationships...so I know nowt...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He wasn't a dick, he was good comedy. And far better than the dickheads who are trolling politics at the minute.

    he got banned for persistent racism for allowing most of his college to use his username. Or so he said, noone else believed him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think I'd have believed him either...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shame really, I want him back, as Kermit so rightly says he was far more interesting than some of the trolls who are pissing in Politics at the moment.
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