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am i really going mad?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hello!!!
as most of you know my boyfriend is in the Navy and he came home just over a week ago for 2weeks, anyways all was well he met me in town with a red rose in hand had a few drinks went out on the night time, perfect no rows or nothing. anyays was sat in his room while he went to get some food, looked on his phone missed and recieved call from Laura, asked who Laura was, went absolutly balistic at me for looking and snooping on his phone (fair comment) so after things calmed down he told me he didnt know who she was and he had been sharing a room with 90 blokes or something and they had borrowed his phone etc.
so i rang this lass up, didnt even know jamie or nothing, so my mate said if he is seeing someone else then shes obviously gonna ring in these 2 weeks, nothing, left his phone lying around for me to see no sign, deep down i know he wouldnt do anything i dont think but, we went out in grimsby he knew some lass from down south in navy, went out last night knew some other lass, i dont trust him and i dont know why its me whos cheated in the past.
all we seem to do is argue over petty little things and im awful to him for no reason, i love him more than anything, i feel like im going insane, take saturday for instance he left mine at 4 and went to meet his cousin who he aint seen 4 ages, his cousin asked him to go out, and i went ballistic crying and screming hysterically, all because he was going out, there has gotta be something wrong but what can i do?
i want us to be happy, stable, and get along with eachother, i cant take much more, help! sorry if its been long
as most of you know my boyfriend is in the Navy and he came home just over a week ago for 2weeks, anyways all was well he met me in town with a red rose in hand had a few drinks went out on the night time, perfect no rows or nothing. anyays was sat in his room while he went to get some food, looked on his phone missed and recieved call from Laura, asked who Laura was, went absolutly balistic at me for looking and snooping on his phone (fair comment) so after things calmed down he told me he didnt know who she was and he had been sharing a room with 90 blokes or something and they had borrowed his phone etc.
so i rang this lass up, didnt even know jamie or nothing, so my mate said if he is seeing someone else then shes obviously gonna ring in these 2 weeks, nothing, left his phone lying around for me to see no sign, deep down i know he wouldnt do anything i dont think but, we went out in grimsby he knew some lass from down south in navy, went out last night knew some other lass, i dont trust him and i dont know why its me whos cheated in the past.
all we seem to do is argue over petty little things and im awful to him for no reason, i love him more than anything, i feel like im going insane, take saturday for instance he left mine at 4 and went to meet his cousin who he aint seen 4 ages, his cousin asked him to go out, and i went ballistic crying and screming hysterically, all because he was going out, there has gotta be something wrong but what can i do?
i want us to be happy, stable, and get along with eachother, i cant take much more, help! sorry if its been long
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Comments
You kinda answered it all yourself. His mates borrowed his phone. Missed called. You phone back and she's never heard of your b/f. Sounds obvious to me she was calling for whoever borrowed the phone.
As for him knowing other people. Course he is. He's in the navy. They're on a ship for weeks on end. They get a bit of shore leave and hit the bars. Doesn't mean he's sleeping around.
I think the problem lies in your insecurities. You hinted that you have cheated on him. Why? If you treat your boyfriend as if he's done something wrong then the chances are he might just go do it. He's getting the grief anyway.
*nods* YOU are the one with the problem. stop being such an evil bitch to him.
Although I wouldn't have put it quite like that, yes, I have to agree too. If you really love him, you have to trust him, otherwise your insecurities will be the thing to tear up the relationship rather than another woman.
Talk to him, be honest, say you're just feeling a bit insecure about things but you DO trust him. Apologise for looking at his phone but say that seeing another girl's name there just got the better of you for a minute.
*Hugs*
LSS
That`s not being honest though is it, cause she doesn`t trust him, she said so herself.
Ennajojo, you`ve gone way overboard. If you can`t let it go then you`ve really got a problem.
i want to go and see someone but what the hell do i say its like ill have proof then that im a nutter. its really getting me down all i seem to do is cry and i just wanna curl up in a corner and never get up. how pathetic. im also completly bored with my life just wish i knew who i was and what i wanna do, i feel like im getting left behind.
Insecure girls
good luck with that.
id love to wake up one morning and just feel happy and content with what i have and feel at ease with myself just so i can trust the people in my life who i care about
its gotta be the worst feeling in the world
You shouldn't have looked at his phone....but I think you are right to be suspicious!!
Why? Maybe the mate in question doesn't have a phone and put this lassies number in so he wouldn't forget. Ennajojo phoned up and this Karen had never heard of her man. OK, so maybe she was lying and they are having an affair but I doubt it.
Do you have any other 'proof'?
As for your fears of going and speaking to someone Ennajojo I think thats a great idea. It shows that you know you have a problem and want to find out how to combat it. Don't worry they won't think your a nutter and refer you to the loony-bin.
And youu've done this loads of times when you haven't had your phone eh? How many people have put someone elses number in someone elses phone?
Doesn't happen often does it!
You missunderstood. The guy didn't forget his phone. He just doesn't have one. (Believe it or not there are people out there without mobile phones) Or he lost it.
Goes out. Meets a nice lassie. Takes her number and puts it in his mates phone for safe keeping. My mates do it all the time and I get complete strangers phoning me looking for XYZ. You all seem a little hasty to jump the gun.
plus the fact her bf went ballistic when she asked who this girl was - wouldnt he just say `eh? i dont know` when asked. He MUST have known who it was.
Mmmm- have re-read this and think that you are guilty of that old thing women always do ---expecting your bloke to revolve his life completely round yours...and that only ever spells disaster.
Perhaps you should give him a bit more space!
while he was away he has only been doing his training and hasnt been allowed out of the camp for 8weeks apart from once when they all went shopping for 6 hours and in that time he rang me about 3times and vice versa, he says he gets so upset that i dont trust him because he is proud of the face he aint never cheated on me, and he feels like a mug at the way i hit him shout at him put him down and make him feel like nothing......its all true, maybe i answered my own question i am completly mad.