Singledom or coupledom

Former Member

Are you happier in a relationship...There seem to be many people on the site who invest their whole selves in their relationships and live for nothing else.
On a thread about Happiness loads of people wrote about the last time they were happy being something to do with their partner and their sadness was also usually to do with some terrible thing happening with their partner.
Isn't this a bit sad?

Former Member

I vote for singledom!!!

I got so messed up in the head by the (2) relationships I've had so far!

Free to Flirt to ur Hearts Content! what more could a girl want?!

Blessed Be x

Former Member

Well I've been in a rrelationship for 8 years and although there are ups and downs I feel happy that we don't mess eachother up and that we spend some time on ourselves rather than investing everything in 'US'

Former Member

There seem to be many people on the site who invest their whole selves in their relationships and live for nothing else.

Tis sad but true.

I've never thought one is better than the other, they both have plus points. At the moment I prefer being single, because at this moment in time, I don't really think I can juggle all my work (A levels) with devoting some time to a partner too (esp if they are anything like my ex). Once I'm settled in uni with more time on my hands, and a better ability to balance work rest and play and all that, then I'll be happy to get into a relationship. That's not to say I won't go out with someone if they were really nice and asked me at the moment, but right now I'm just happy being single

Former Member

.

Former Member

coupledom. I just dont like being single, I hate being on my own. I know I could cope with being single if I had to, but I would much prefer to be in a relationship.

Former Member

i don't know at the moment. currently, I don't want anyone else in my life, I only want to flirt etc. not that i'm a good flirt anyway but...

overall though I guess I prefer being in a relationship because there are some feelings I only get when I'm in a relationship...

Former Member

Well, I've got used to singledom now and it's really not all that bad, but I think I'd still always prefer that couply feeling....but I do like to be independent at the same time. I think that's where we went wrong in my last relationship, because we were too much of an "us" at times.

Former Member

Originally posted by go_away


I've never thought one is better than the other, they both have plus points. At the moment I prefer being single, because at this moment in time, I don't really think I can juggle all my work (A levels) with devoting some time to a partner too (esp if they are anything like my ex). Once I'm settled in uni with more time on my hands, and a better ability to balance work rest and play and all that, then I'll be happy to get into a relationship. That's not to say I won't go out with someone if they were really nice and asked me at the moment, but right now I'm just happy being single

Yup, I feel exactly the same way. I don't really have the time to get into something serious with someone & am very happy being single at the moment.

Former Member

Re: Singledom or coupledom

Originally posted by byny
Are you happier in a relationship...There seem to be many people on the site who invest their whole selves in their relationships and live for nothing else.

I hope people don't think I am one of those people because I mention my boyfriend a lot!

Personally, I have been in a relationship all of my adult life and the latter part of my adolescent life, so I don't know how I would cope being single right now. Because I am in such a long term relationship I think I would fall apart!

However, in my relationship now we spend a lot of time together as a couple, but also a lot of time together as friends. The group of friends we have incompasses us both, but we do manage to spend time apart - like I will go out with "the girls" whilst "the lads" have a night in. My boyf also goes on tour with his band so I don't see him for a while.

I do think there is a stage where couples become too dependent and they are only spoken off in terms of one another like "David and Sue" and never as seperate individuals. I have two friends who are like that.

I don't think it is sad if your relationship is your life - whatever makes people happy! I am not going to judge someone else because of what makes them happy or sad, however I do think it can be a bit unhealthy and I personally would find it stifling.

Former Member

Ever heard the saying ' the grass is always greener on the other side.' well thats how i feel. If i was in a relationship then i may be happy but wish to be single and when you're single you wish to be in a relationship. Whenever you are thinking how happy you are to be single, a cute couple walk past looking really loved up and you wish you were a couple but when you're in a couple i really don't know what people think but hey thats life. Everything isn't always clear cut.:chin:

Former Member

I think the total amount of time i have ever been single is 3 months since i was 15, sad but true, im so used to having someone that i hate the thought of being on my own! My whole life defiinatly doesnt revolve around that one person though! I like to have 'me' time too!

Former Member

i've got to admit that there are pros and cons for both sides of the argument...it is a very personal thing...i know some people that can't live without the whole 'being with someone' thing whether the person they're going out with is someone they like or not. i've spent a long time on the singles list now although i never seem to meet many people that i could go out with being gay and that...just because im single doesnt mean that io dont want someone or cant find someone eventually. i would like to have a g/f but hey thats life and so i just get on with being single really. i think i would be happier in a relationship if it was with the right person.
The Silly String

Former Member

I'm single at the moment, try to be happy but when I see all these couples they make me feel really inferior. I basically take the attitude that no girl wants to know me because I'm too short and I translate this into 'I'm an ugly git' which is what I say whenever anyone asks me whether I have a girlfriend. I basically pretend not to care, and try to look at the advantages of being single, because I don't want to admit that I care. I think this is possibly because I just feel undeserving and see caring about it as something that could be taken advantage of.

Former Member

I prefer being a couple, makes me feel complete knowing that I have someone to love and who loves me back, someone to care for and someone caring for me.

Former Member

Im single now and would like to be in a relationship-

NOt just for the sake of it but with one person in general.
We have an instinct to want what we cant have- so its tandum really swinging from one to the other!
Overall I think a relationship wins long term- but were mainly all fairly young amd wont apply to us all for a while!

Yerns for more single women

Former Member

This is a thing 4 me recently, i'm single and am quite happy being so. I'm a modern, independant gal so i can handle that! Although, as i say, recently, i been thinkin bout this. I get moments where my mood just changes n i think i should be in a relationship with someone, that its what i want and what i'm missing...
I have to say, i enjoy flirting, who doesnt? but at the same time i look at the guys who genuinely like me and think... why not? isnt it about time?! But then in the next instance, its not what i want!
Dear God i'm up n down like a friggin' yoyo!!
-Lady T

Former Member

I started going out with a long term boyfriend after my GCSE's when i split up with him went out with another i finally can say im happy being single! I have many males who do fancy me and who i can flirt with. I have the best of both worlds freedom and someone loving me i know it sounds selfish but i never really think of my self so i deserve a little now?! I just want to do my voluntary work and have fun doing what "I" enjoy!

I have now learnt to be independant on my own and in a partnership! I ma happy

Former Member

.

Former Member

Originally posted by bad seed
Being single is ok if you're fanciable etc...

otherwise it's boring :-|

Aww hunneh! I'm sure some1 out there does fancy ya, you just dont know it!!
-Lady T

Former Member

Just very recently my boyfriend and I broke-up and I've now decided to stay single until I go to university in September(that is if I meet anyone there). I'm happy with that. I do not have enough time for a boyfriend, that being one of the reasons our relationship broke down.

Personally I believe you do not need a relationship to be happy or to feel fulfilled. Accepting and respecting yourself are the first steps towards happiness and fulfillment.

Although I feel needy of attention during a relationship, I also crave my own personal space and time. I often feel that being single allows me to develop myself more. Maybe that's because I've met the wrong men so far.

Former Member

I think it depends on what your experience is in life. If you've had little in the way of relationships, then being single is all you know and the possiblity of a relationship is something new and exciting. On the flipside, if you've been mostly hooked up with someone your whole life, then perhaps you want to see what it's like to manage on your own.

Personally, I've just started my first real relationship after being single for the "best" part of my life and reflecting on this I can say that neither being single, nor being in a relationship is the best scenario: there are times when I want to do my own thing and others when I want someone there for me.

Fortunately, both of us are independent (her because she has been hurt in the past and me because I don't know any better :-) ) and have our own life plans and aspirations (both at uni).

I know there are a lot of relationships where it is all or nothing but that's too extreme for me - it's all about comprimising.

Former Member

Just re-entered singledom and loving it. Although I did enjoy being in a relationship, now is me time and is great fun.
It also means I can concentrate more on my damn A-levels.

Former Member

Being single is good, you can flirt and song whoever you want with no strings attatched. I always thought that I'd hate to be tied down, but then I met Chris, and realised being in a couple isn't as bad as I figured (my first and only other relationship was a total shambles...long story!). Both sides have their pros and cons, and just enjoy the way you are

Former Member

I make a bad girlfriend and a much better friend. I enjoy the chase but when I get the guy I evolve into some mega bitch and treat him badly. I think I get scared of commitment and getting hurt.

I do like going out with people but I think if its the wrong person, its when I get nasty. There was only 1 guy I was a good girlfriend to and I did love him at the time.

Former Member

Originally posted by 1st_angel
Just re-entered singledom and loving it.

:crying:

Former Member

Originally posted by will haycock
I basically take the attitude that no girl wants to know me because I'm too short and I translate this into 'I'm an ugly git'

AW hun!! I like short men (Which is handy as I live in Wales!) Don't think you are unattractive just because you are short!!

Former Member

Hmm...

Being single is great. Having a boyfriend is great. They're both cool, and I'm happy in either situation.

But as the saying goes (for some people)... you always want what you haven't got!

Former Member

I'm a 'grass is greener...' kinda girl usually but i have been with my present boyf nearly 2 months and I dont seem to want to be anywhere else (am i making you sick, it is sickening isnt it? all this mushiness! I'll stop!!)
but i do love time to myself or with mates too, i guess the key to it is finding a balance or your preference and going with it.

Former Member

I love the feeling of knowing that someone loves you for being you, and that you dont have to pretend about anything with them... I would have to say that im happier in a couple than when im single, tho as my guy's in the army i dont get to see him that often, and when he wasnt in the army he lived up north, so didnt really see him much then... But Im lost without him...