am i over-reacting??

Former Member

on a public message board(not this site) my bf of 8.5 months made a comment saying he thought a certain pop star would be good for only one thing (implying sex), would i be over-reacting or being silly if this upset me, he knows i occaisonally read the board, and lately he seems to have become relaxed in our relationship eg. i see him checking out other girls when we're out together. The comment really bothered me becase he says he'd never wanna be with anyone but me but then reading that i wonder who else he thinks about like that. I sent a e-mail asking what it was about but no reply yet.

any advice would be welcome

thankx

Former Member

You sound like me, just because my boyfriend use to have pictures of holly valance in his room and said he would rather sleep with her than have £10,000 it annoys me. It's just cos I get jealous I think, and yeh I do think you're over reacting, as long as he's looking and not touching.

Former Member

The pop star he was refering to is probably completely unobtainable which is probably why he feels able to make such a comment about her and treat her as just a piece of meat.

However...I'd start to worry what kind of man you are with if he ever made such a comment about you!!

You are over reacting about this comment and if he's not replied to you yet its probably because he's still trying to work out the weird an wonderful workings of a womans mind!

Former Member

hmmm this is not good.. well actually it's perfectly natural.

When I was going out with Laura she always used to go on about Ewan McGreggor and when I confronted her about it she said it's just cos he's so fit (she was joking) and that really upset me. In the end she said she didnt mean it and was never going to meet him but I know what it's like. Just say to your boyfriend that it makes you feel.. insecure and less special and he might pack it in....

Former Member

Yes, you're over reacting. Don't tell me you never look at men and think they're attractive, or you don't fancy someone off the TV? These people are unobtainable!!

Personally, I point out people in the street and ask what my boyfriend thinks of them! lol.

Former Member

Sorry but I also think you are over-reacting! Surely you must think certain famous people are good looking or even guys you see in real life on the streets? That doesn't mean you would go & cheat on your boyfriend just by looking at them so why would he?

Former Member

Originally posted by BumbleBee
Personally, I point out people in the street and ask what my boyfriend thinks of them! lol.

lol me and my boyf do the same!


Back to the problem....You must fancy some popstar or something though? I know my boyf has a thing for Kylie and certain Attomic Kitten girlies but that doesn't mean he doesn't fancy me. In the same way that I have a thing for Duncan from Blue but I still fancy my boyf! It's better he tells his mates that he likes a girl off the telly rather than telling them he likes some girl he knows, so count yourself lucky! If he checks out other girls all the time then I can see why you're a bit worried, but trust me most blokes are like that! Just give him a kick up the arse when you catch him at it

Former Member

Originally posted by Faith

lol me and my boyf do the same!

Phew! Glad we're not the only ones!

We also point out people with huge bums, huge breasts, crap hair and fashion disasters.

Former Member

Originally posted by BumbleBee
We also point out people with huge bums, huge breasts, crap hair and fashion disasters.

so do we! I'll say to my boyf 'Are you eyeing up that girl?'....and he'll say soemthing like 'No, I was thinking what a fat arse she has' or soemthing along those lines!

Former Member

Originally posted by Faith


I'll say to my boyf 'Are you eyeing up that girl?'....and he'll say soemthing like 'No, I was thinking what a fat arse she has' or soemthing along those lines!

Ah yes! The perfect cover up!

it is human nature to fancy other people. But I don't believe for a second that a loved up very happy girlfriend who can look at, for instance, Robbie Williams and think he is nice, won't also look at people in everyday life and think they are nice too?

And when you say this person is unobtainable, you aren't writing off the thought of being with them. If you suddenly got to meet this fave celeb of yours and they fancied a fling then suddenly they are obtainable - So I have never liked the unobtainable excuse.

I fancy my girlfriend loads - I love her to bits - I appreciate good looking girls whether they are celebs or not and WOULD NEVER touch them, even if I could.

I hate it when people do that - Dig holes. "Do you fancy Mr X?" "No he is nice but I could never fancy someone with...erm...that dress sense". OH! So if they improved their clothing you would fancy them?

Correct answer shoudl always be - "Yes But I'm with you" or "No".

Former Member

It is easy to get insecure about things like this, but yeah I think it is an over reaction aswell. It's human nature to look at other people, however much you love the person you are with, there will always be other people who catch your eye, and that's where you just have to trust your boyfriend and as long as it is only looking you have to accept that it's a part of what happens in life. I'm sure that as other people have said, you yourself do find other people attractive and look at them etc.

Former Member

Originally posted by Sir Cum
it is human nature to fancy other people. But I don't believe for a second that a loved up very happy girlfriend who can look at, for instance, Robbie Williams and think he is nice, won't also look at people in everyday life and think they are nice too?

Of course you can. I see attractive people in the street all the time and think "phwoar" because like you said, it is human nature to find other people attractive if they have the right "look". However, I would never dream of being with them, because I don't know them!! I am in a happy relationship but that doesn't mean I can't find other people attractive does it? It isn't like I am going to run off with someone based on their looks alone. How would I do that anyway... chase them down the street? Furthermore, this all comes down to whether or not the other person wants you back!

If you did meet a celeb what are the chances that they would have a fling with you? Pretty slim I'd say!

Former Member

Even a wise girl like you falls for the trap though Bumblebee. As with many girls you don't write off your wanting that person - You write off your chances as an excuse not to stray over to them.

From the way you describe it - If the gorgeous hunk actually spotted you, took a liking, threw a few sweet lines your way and you had a bit in common you would be interested.

But because he isn't interested - The situation is awkward - Or you don't know their personality - You are saying it won't happen.

Thats not good enough. Those 3 factors are way too easy to add into the equation. I guess that explains why so many people cheat/dump/move around so much then!

Former Member

Originally posted by Sir Cum
From the way you describe it - If the gorgeous hunk actually spotted you, took a liking, threw a few sweet lines your way and you had a bit in common you would be interested.

No I would not, because I know where to draw the line. I would not react to them in a way that indicated I was interested. In actual fact I would still think they were attractive but I would tell them I had a boyfriend! If they persisted then they would go down in my estimation anyway because I have no respect for someone tries to ruin relationships.

I have actually been in the situation where some lad who I found attractive was chatting to me and he asked if I wanted to go for a drink with him. I was chatting to him in a causal friendly manner bot because I wanted to bed him, but because I was mixing with people at a party (and I won't ignore someone because I think they're nice looking!). I told him I wasn't interested and he asked why, I did not say "because I have a boyfriend" because that would have indicated that if I did not have a boyfriend I would have gone, but I said because I just didn't fancy it. He found out I had a boyfriend from someone else and tried to convince me he was a better person! Fool!

Former Member

You are spot on bumble!

That has always bugged me with girls ive dated in the past - Even if they meant well. A bloke asks them out or comes onto them "No I have a boyfriend" i.e. I would be interested otherwise.

I assume girls mean well when they do this as they don't think of what it implies although I'm sure some do it to keep their options open at a later date.