The wrong way round?

Former Member

Hi every1
I'm new here, so firstly I'll introduce myself, since I just read a thread where HN got *ticked off* 4 not doing so...
I'm 16 years old and I live in London. I've visited the site a bit before but never posted anything but now I'd like to be part of the *community* and I also have something I'd like 2 ask u all about...

It's like this - I have been seeing this guy 4 about a month now and *sexually* we haven't got v far - done nothing more than kiss. I'm a virgin and I don't want2 have sex w him, but I want2 take our relationship a bit further. Thing is, although I haven't talked to him about it, he seems reluctant. this is possibly cos he's never dated ne1 b4, so he's a bit nervous.
I know usually it's the guys who want the girls to go further, but this time it's the other way round... should I just leave it? or should I talk to him? maybe just wait a while?

Thanx,
xxx
Baby

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now...

Former Member

Hi welcome to thesite, your signature is cool btw!

As for your question, girls can take the inititive as well as lads, but the "rules" about not forcing anyone to go furthur than they want to apply to lads as well.

By all means speak to him or just make it clear that you'd be happy to take it furthur, but if he's not ready for it, just back off a bit and make it clear you're not offended or anything!

Stick around- its a great place.

Former Member

I agree with s&s on both counts!!

Your signiture rocks!! Welcome to the site! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; Lxxx

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<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/otn/angels/littleangel.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Heya Burn Baby
Right well you've only been together a month so you could leave it a bit. how much further do you wanna go??? Obviously not to sex yet but thats the thing....you work your way up there. (perhaps i should say, down)
Well,kinda say to him that you wanna go further but say you're no ready for full on but you'd like to get more intimate (thats the phrase that makes me laugh).
Then just hope he's up for it!!!
If you're too nervous to ask but daring, you could just start touchign him when you kiss, i find that used to work.

Former Member

Welcome BurnBaby.

Yeah I reckon just have a word with him about it, it might be that he wants to go a bit further but he might be to nervous to ask. Like they say 'don't ask, don't get'!!!!

Like Kat just said, maybe try touching him 'down there' when you are kissing to see what his reaction is, if he doesn't move your hand away then 'BINGO' - and if he does then obvioulsy he's not ready for it yet.

Let us know how you get on!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Hey BB,
Speaking from the blokes POV, it could be that he's afraid of applying any pressure on you to go further 'cos you might think that's the only thing he's after. On the other hand, maybe he really is a sex fiend........

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Only users lose drugs

Former Member

Thanx every1 for all your advice.

Yeah I kinda realise now I shd probably leave it 4 a bit, or else talk 2 him....
And the guy's pov - thanx LoL, maybe I'll talk 2 him, c if he really is just not wanting 2 push me further...

thanx again
x
Baby

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now...