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Trouble with Ejaculating
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Can anyone help me? I've been going out with a girl for a few months now and I lost my virginity to her a bit ago. I've had sex with her a few times but I can never reach ejaculation. It feels great when we do it and she loves it so I must be doing something right for her, I enjoy it too, I get close to ejaculating but I can't climax. I really love her she's the best thing to happen to me. She says it doesn't matter and that she'll stay with me no matter what but it's really frustrating me. Does anyone know what might be causing this or has anyone got any tips that I could try?
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Anyway, Back to business
You maybe Nervous & anxious, Can you cum when you wank?
If so, it’s nothing wrong with your body, it’s all in your mind!
Perhaps you put to much pressure on yourself to please your gf, that your own needs don’t get met.
Try just doing more foreplay and don’t try so much with sex, if she game get her to just suck you off until your near cumming, then have her stop. Do this again a few times. (Each time stopping before you cum)
Then go in her all the way (balls touching arse), and you should hopefully shoot your load deep into her, and put a smile on her face!:D
I’ve yet to try this, My problem has been a mixture of me putting too much pressure on myself and being intoxicated every time.
I'll try what has been suggested. I hope it works, I know when I do it once then it'll ok be. I do enjoy having sex with her but I do think about it too much so I think that's why.
Thanks for the replies Harmless and angelbabe.
I know that's not a good solution, but I'm not sure whatelse you can do.
are you using condoms?
Ive been with someone who couldnt cum during sex. He could do it when we did other stuff no probs but when it actually came down to it he couldnt.
He knew he could do it, but with worrying whether i was enjoying it and whether he was doing it right an shit he couldnt do it. Its subconsious, you start thinkin about something else and then your not thinking "ok nows when i should cum"
But why is not cumming such an issue for you? Surely enjoying it and knowing your missus enjoys it is more important to you? If you make everytime you have sex into a mission to cum, it aint gonna happen! If you relax, dont even think about it, it'll happen.
Things that we make an issue always seem to be harder to acheive than they actually are.
Ok i aint no expert thats why none of that made sense!
I think I was with a guy a few times who'd never come during sex before but I put it down to his not having romantic feelings for the people he had sex with before and his coming with me was because...actually I don't know. I like to convince myself he had romantic feelings for me initially but I don't believe that anymore. Pssssh.
Anyhoo, yeah, fuck, sorry, rambled uselessly there. But yeah, I think Emma was pretty helpful with what she said.
Is there any chance of it being a medical issue? I have no idea so this is probably wrong.
It is more important that we both enjoy ourselves but cuming is like the end of having sex if you know what I mean. We both enjoy it which I'm happy about it's just actually being able to cum in her when we have sex that I want to be able to do. I feel like other people can do it but why can't I?
You know if everytime you have sex you complain that you aint cum shes probably gonna start thinking that that is the only reason you have sex for. Possibly that you dont care that she enjoyed it, or she'll think that you didnt enjoy it enough.
Condoms are shit. Hence why i never use them, if your worried about pregnancy, what about the pill or the injection? That might help ease the worrying a bit.
You have to change the way your thinking. Cumming is not the end of sex. Its nice yeah but dont make it out to be so important. Yes other people can do it and so can you. Its only a matter of time.
Bingo, It's either the condoms or baby fear!
Maybe the condoms make you less sensitive, thus making it harder for you to cum.
Or the fear of babies, you are scared to let your defences down and cum, cos you know inside that it may lead to babies.
Whatever reason it is, get your gf on the Pill and see if that helps!
Yep :yes: this is what happened with my mate and her bloke. He couldnt stop worrying so he couldnt cum. She went on the pill and he stopped worrying and finally did it.
I'll try to relax next time about it. hopefully it'll happen. Even if I cum or not I'll have still had a great time and hopefully so will she.
Thats what i like to hear!
I dont no why people blame condoms...yes they may make it less sensitive, but if you can feel her pussy then what you complaing about!
Men!
You can buy thinner condoms mate, that might help you out, but I would talk to your gf about going in her bare back once and seeing if that helps
Try and relax, choose a time when she most less likely to get up the duff and do it.
Not sure how you can overcome the baby fear (The snip maybe for now, then have it reversed later!);)
1)Lol, I've seen coats that aren't that thick, they still keep people warm:p
Likewise some condom are thick and makes it less sensitive for the head of the penis!, Even some thin ones may have the same effect on the head of the dick
It must have something to do with the nerve endings in the penis not touching pussy and thus making it harder to cum:p
2) So!, She's had her fun, it's time to open up, and pay the Pied piper:p
3) Not all the time, and you hide it well (it's in your nature I guess!):p