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Age gaps
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey
im currently in a relationship with 21 year old guy who I've know for a year and a half, I'm only 15 and a bit worried about other people's reactions to our relationship, especially my parents reactions. Anyone been in the same situation??
Just wondered what sort of age gap situations you've been invovled in.
Thanks
Katy
im currently in a relationship with 21 year old guy who I've know for a year and a half, I'm only 15 and a bit worried about other people's reactions to our relationship, especially my parents reactions. Anyone been in the same situation??
Just wondered what sort of age gap situations you've been invovled in.
Thanks
Katy
0
Comments
Age is just a number, if you care about him, and he cares about you, why should u worry?
OK - as regards age gaps...
What you are going to have to bear in mind, and this goes for the initial poster and the person who replied, is that your situations are a bit different... One is ok, whilst one is effectively not.
In the first case, the girl is only 15 - still a minor in the eyes of the law... and everybody else for that matter... With the chap being 21, the difference is a big thing! Him being recognised as an adult and you as a minor will always be met with a certain level of 'hostility' (couldn't think of a better word... too tired... :eek2:) to which there is not really anything you will be able to do anything about. What you have to bear in mind is, and this is really not meant in a patronising or derogatory way, is that people will think "Why is he not with somebody his own age". Also - if/when you get around to doing certain activities, this could land the bloke in an awful lot of trouble - statutory rape etc etc etc... Fair enough, you wouldn't report him, but if your mother or father took a dislike to the chap then the shit could hit the fan!!!
The 18 and the 22 year old - this is pretty much fine in everybodies eyes! You are both consenting adults and so all is cool. Basically a different situation to the couple above.
To close Katygee, my opinion on this matter is that you should really try to find a bloke closer to your own age. Fair enough I don't know you or the bloke, and I am not intending to judge anybody on this matter, but being 23 (so not exactly old...), there is not a chance that I would even consider your situation age wise, or to put it into scale, I wouldn't think of starting to see a 17 year old. I would also have to question myself why he is not with somebody of similar age, or just somebody a couple of years older.
Food for thought...
G.
P.S. A quote from my brother who was watching when I was typing this: "Ewwwwwwwwwww... Its sick!" - Says it all really, but I tried to phrase it in a more gentile manner... :rolleyes:
Fair enough if you are both in your 20s (been there etc etc etc I am 23 and was seeing a 33 year old for a bit...) - that is totally not an issue, but when one is a child it is really not a good thing... When both are adults, the situation is different...
Aye - seeing eye to eye on this one...
Well chaps, I hope everybody had a good Christmas day (for those that celebrate it, anyways...
Off to bed now... Need sleep!!
G.
Sorry lass, but it is wrong... he is far too old for you at your age! I'm only 17 and i would still really have to think about what i'd be doing if i was seeing a 15 year old...
(Hello G... thought i'd join ya!)
I don't know. I wouldn't go out with someone younger than me but it seems to be a thing guys do. You just all seem to say the same thing to 15 year olds: 'too young, stay away'.
Things in life are more complicated than age and numbers.
But saying all that I still don't see the attraction and even I wouldn't want to go for any 15 year olds I know. Maybe its down to maturity/immaturity and all that crap too.
I'm 22 and my boyf's 23, no not really an age gap there!
Im 14 my bf is 19...no one says anything except for stupid immature lads being pathetic.
My best mate is 15 her fiance is 22..they have a kid aswel.
Im 14 my bf is 19...no one says anything except for stupid immature lads being pathetic.
My best mate is 15 her fiance is 22..they have a kid aswel.
Daisychainthing - My problems with this 'relationship' are not just because of the legal issues. My problems with this also run into the mental gap that will (should!) exist between the two parties involved. It is just plain wrong.
S_M_B - without being funny, your 'situations' have been covered several times, and I *still* have a few points. Again, this is not supposed to be offensive... but:
1. You say you have a boyfriend - do you not keep posting about lads you keep copping off with?!??!?
2. Around your area, it is not exactly uncommon for this sort of thing to arise - and I really don't know what the guys are playing at! Fair enough it is 'cool' for a younger girl to be out with an older guy - but 14 and 19 (don't get me started on the 15-22 with a kid thing - I have already posted on that a few months ago! Is she not pregnant again?????) is just daft. I can't quite understand the chaps thinking...
People may notice that I speak my mind - I do, I just try my best to get the points across without being too insensitive, but this is one subject that touches a nerve for some reason - kiddy fiddling in my books! Sorry! :mad:
So - basically, these whole situations are wrong in my eyes.
G.
I just think it's 'ewwwwwwwwwwww' to quote g's brother!
And in this instance I really don't care if I cause offense!
I think you just have to question what's wrong with this guy if he can't get a girlfriend his own age?
I'm sorry but that is completely fucked up.
Although not saying all are that way but a good percentage.
the thing is, and i'm not justifying 15 & 21/2 yr olds with kids, but 14 year old guys are idiots, have been there...unfortunatley
and as long as your not doing anything you dont feel comfortable with, or doing anything to affect your health, i don't see that much of a problem, i can see why other people would though
Why would an adult want a relationship with a minor? To me any adult who has a relationship with someone under the age of consent is totally stupid. I cannot understand why someone over say 20 would even contemplate seeing someone aged 15........its crazy.
I have not got a problem with other people dating older partners, but as I say long as both are consenting adults they can do what the hell they like.
15 & 21?! Why would a 21 year old ermmm man?! want to do with a 15 year old girl?! In a way I think its kinda creepy & a bit pervy . . . does he pick you up from school etc?!
Sorry Im really tired
But I am 15 & I suppose yeah it's ermmm 'cool' to be with a older guy but in the eyes of the law depending what the sit is its wrong!
Just be careful
*bites tongue*
:mad: :rolleyes: :eek: :eek2: :crazyeyes:
What sort of fucked up, crazy huys are they then?!?!?
There is something seriously wrong in your area!
Eithr that or they are very very very ugly!
For the girl's part, they had themselves a boyfriend with a car, with some cash, and who made them feel like they were mature to have pulled an older guy.
The girls thought they'd pulled a pretty cool bloke. Certainly none were ashamed.
Weirdly, none of the guys at my school were known to be dating older girls. Still, we all knew that girls had more sense, right?
In my later teens and twenties, I knew only a handful of guys my age who dated schoolgirls. Without exception they were all blokes who'd been unable to impress girls their own ages. None of the relationships lasted once the girls had left school, and gained enough life experience to discover thet their blokes hadn't matured past school-age ever.
It is not simply about age gaps. At 15 you are still a kid, still live at home, haven't ever held a full-time job, and generally don't have much if any experience of real life. That's more about maturity through experience than age.
My father and step-mum has 10 years difference.
In both cases, the male is older than the female. The only issue there is the fact that ladies have a longer life expectancy by about 4 years. Having an older male will hence widen the age gap. If the female was oldest of the two, then the age gap is physically decreased.
That is my theory on older people and it doesn't matter at all, as all four of my parents are in love and they get on with each other. On par with 80% of the replies on this thread, both parties in young-age relationships have to be 16+ otherwise it will be gaol bait..
age gaps depend totally on the situation.ive always been mature for my age, so my parents weren't 2 shocked to find out my boyfriend was 27 yrs old. their minds were at ease when they met him.
we've been together for a year and a half and if we'd have listened to what every one said about the age gap, we'd have never been together today.