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Sick of people's 'games'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm really sick of the games people at my college play. They just want to put me down all the time, I'm just getting so I don't want to hang around with them anymore, even if it means having no-one to go to the pub with or whatever. Things is, I'm not basically just not a loner, and I'll put with quite a bit of shit just to have friends and stuff. Strange, I know, but it's the way it is. I'm beginning to think these people aren't my friends though. I mean the things they say are f***ing hurtful. stuff like 'You'd have a problem with going on the game because the other person has to want to do it with you' - and if I'm not sexy they certainly aren't either, I can tell you, and then this making fun of my surname calling me 'William Nay Cock' :mad: Ok, maybe I haven't always been that polite but I haven't continually put someone down like that.

Are these people really my friends? I begn to doubt it sometimes :rolleyes: Anyone else who has to put with these games, I'd be interested to see what you think about it.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't like them, don't go out with them. They'll soon get the hint, and then you can find friends that you actually get on with and whose company you really enjoy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like having mates but sometimes I prefer being on my own, I find it easier and stuff.

    anyway, why not just make new mates?

    I wouldn't just take it if my mates called me names and put me down all the time, I would give it back to them!

    My mates are on the whole mostly cool, I've got few that are wankers and like trying to turn my words around and making a joke of it, but I never let it get out of hand!

    Just have a word with the main guy doing it, or win over some of the other group of mates so that they will stick up for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bad seed
    You've told these people how you feel?

    Well, to be honest, I haven't. It does seem to be me who gets undermined most of the time though. I think I get picked on because I don't quite share their values (like having a flashy mobile phone for the sake of having a flashy mobile phone). I generally try to ignore it, but the things they say seem pretty hurtful to me (I don't know how you interpret it?). I guess it's worth saying something to them, but if they keep on like that, then I'll just find new friends.....
    anyway, why not just make new mates?

    Think this is what I'm starting to do. I think I like some of them more than others. There's one of them who I don't like that much, and I generally don't hang out with him, but he's part of the group and everything. As for the thing about me being ugly, this seems to be a bit of a class joke. Personally, I feel it's a bit inaccurate. They don't exactly look amazing themselves. Why do they pick on me? If they genuinely think i'm ugly, then there's going to be a bit of conflict, because I like my looks. Beauty's in the eye of the beholder anyway.

    I think the put-downs come my way mainly because I'm a bit different from them, and because they feel shit about themselves. So they have to play these games. Too many of them like that. I'm confident I'll find real friends who want to be themselves but it may take some time yet....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree that you should definately talk to them and tell them exactly how you feel. If they throw it all back in your face then forget them and move on. Im sure you will easily be able to make a new set of friends who are more worth while. Most people from time to time seem to drift apart and find new friends. Try dont to worry about it too much :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless
    I like having mates but sometimes I prefer being on my own, I find it easier and stuff.

    Yeah I'm like that too. Half the time I'm bubbly, joking, cheerfull me, then other times I need my own space.

    Will, try not to let them get to you. Lads can be like that sometimes, and it's shit. Like bad seed says, make new friends if you can. No-one deserves constant shit from people like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    they are showing off. my theory is they are insecure and they see you as the 'lowest' (i dont know why - in my old school i was for ages) so whenever they need to take the piss outta someone to make themselves feel better about themselves they take it out on you. You could try making new mates which would work, or you could throw insults back in their face which might make them shut up - then again it might fuel them. People have treated me like shit for so long I never stuck up for myself and now i only hang around with my girlfriend and her friends and two of my mates and its unreal, they are all so nice. These guys will see it as just having a laugh cos they r bored of something but they are on the low end of the scale. And trust me you dont need a flashy mobile phone for anything, infact image is overrated these days; honesty, loyalty, strength of charachter and qualities like that will always get you further. I was actually doing this to someone who kept following me and saying my girlfriend was mean but then he said one day when i stole his pencil "well im not giong to do anything to him i will rely on his goodwill to give it me back" and i didn't laugh i felt guilty and gave his pencil back. Now we are building a (somewhat shaky) friendship. Sometimes those noble comments do work, but sometimes people are just assholes. At least i'm not anymore!

    Just remember - you are better than them because you dont go saying nasty things like this to them
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice. :D i'm finding new friends a bit, but i do think there's always going to be people in life who are obsessed with status and playing games. I can put up with some rubbish but i'm getting a bit annoyed with the constant undermining. it's down to a simple conflict really: in their world, flashy mobile phones, for the sake of flasy mobile phones (and suchlike) is important. In my world, it isn't. I'm not a deep kind of person, I just don't respect the status game very much. If my crappy old mobile phone does the job then it'll do. If I wanted a new mobile phone I'd get one, simple as that, I don't need to play these games to 'fit in'. I won't have a chance to speak to them for a while yet because they don't live near me but I guess it's worth having a go at them when I can. Whatver happens, I accept that this is a fairly miserable year of my life socially but I can get through it :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just relax a bit......mates will be mates and will rib you from time to time, just don't take it to heart and give it back....

    I mean, they might be just taking the mick because you take it so seriously, which means you're an easy target....and they get more of a laugh out of doing it!

    On having an old mobile phone......just go "yeah, so what....is life supposed to be a competition??" or I'd even be tempted to make your self look cool by going "Yeah, I'd like a new one, but it mean less money for booze......I was surprised I thought about it for like a whole 2 seconds"......hehehe!

    Oh, I forgot to say.......I thought that not getting involved in the status sortof games (if you know what I mean) was quite trendy at the moment....????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The key to always being slagged is just to alugh it off.
    If you smile and even play along with it-showing it doesn't effect you it'll soon ware off, most groups of people that hang around together (not best mates) have the "gilly" they pick on.

    I wouldn't take it too personally- just give as good as you get without being emotional or serious. In fairness one of my best mates gets the piss taken from him all time- at times he desrves it but we never mean or say anything to harmful and slagging your name is not seriously slagging you- its when it gets really personnal you should move
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by phillip247


    Oh, I forgot to say.......I thought that not getting involved in the status sortof games (if you know what I mean) was quite trendy at the moment....????

    I've no real idea, but it isn't in my college :rolleyes:
    Originally posted by Doctor Lurve


    The key to always being slagged is just to alugh it off.
    If you smile and even play along with it-showing it doesn't effect you it'll soon ware off, most groups of people that hang around together (not best mates) have the "gilly" they pick on.

    I generally just ignore their games on the outside but kind of go away feeling hurt. They probably know that, maybe as you say, I should try to see the funny side of it. Everything's worth a try, I suppose. Thanks for the advice. :)

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