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Age and Relationships
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just out of curiosity really;
I'm 19, never ever had a girlfriend, and very limited sexual experience, it worrys me sometimes that I've never had a girlfriend at this age. I do all the normal things a uni student does, go out, socialise, I've even asked a few girls out in the past but been rejected every time - The odds seem to be well against me at the moment, becuase the majority of my friends have a good stable loving relationship
I dunno what the hell I'm doing wrong
- Has anyone else had similar problems of never having a first time relationship and coming up to the age (i.e. early 20s) where everyone else seems to be getting a partner
I'm 19, never ever had a girlfriend, and very limited sexual experience, it worrys me sometimes that I've never had a girlfriend at this age. I do all the normal things a uni student does, go out, socialise, I've even asked a few girls out in the past but been rejected every time - The odds seem to be well against me at the moment, becuase the majority of my friends have a good stable loving relationship
I dunno what the hell I'm doing wrong
- Has anyone else had similar problems of never having a first time relationship and coming up to the age (i.e. early 20s) where everyone else seems to be getting a partner 0
Comments
I really wouldn't worry about it. At any age, you feel as if every man and his dog is in lurve and you're left on the sidelines. Mayeb the girls you asked out just weren't the ones for you. Try getting out there, just be yourself and I promise you they'll love you for it
Be confident, smile lots and just be happy (nobody likes anyone feeling sorry for themselves.) You'll be attached in no time
I didn't have my first proper boyf til I was 19. Before that I had the odd boyf for a week or 2, but my first proper relationship was at 19. I wouldn't worry about it, you're not the only one out there in that situation. I know a lot of people from uni who didn't get boyfs/girlfs til that age. Just go out an enjoy yourself and try not to worry about it too much!
Nice way of putting it LOL
Yeah, easier said than done, I dont like feelin sorry for myself, actually 90% of the time I'm a pretty happy chirppy git. Just sometimes when we all go out and I see my mates with the lasses, thats when it gets me down
Thanks for ya words of encouragement all anyway, cheered my morning up
I was 17 yo + 10 months when I had my first romance. It was good at the time, but I also enjoyed life before and after the four-month relationship. By mutual consent, we ended it because we were shortly (at the time) to begin universities.
University was great, but I remained single throughout. Something will happen to you whether you are aged 25, 30 or 35.
Apestyler and I both live in the same house and we sociallise a lot. The problem lies with the sex ratio of our area. It is something like male 6:1 female. Its great if you're gay and male.
But there are also, lots of positives of being single- do a search.
IN fact im returning there myself! Evrything fits into place life has a funny way of playing tricks on us but they all work out in the end.
Confidence is the key- so work on your strengths
Thanks for the advice mate
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Ive just turned 20, and my last girlfriend was when i was about 16. Most of my mates have partners or have lost their virginty, infact of the 14 close friends i hang around with, only 3 are virgins and 7 of us are dating. I know it gets you down, God knows how many times ive stayed awake in bed and shed a tear cos i cant find that companion to share life with. Without meaning to sound big-headed, becasue thats the last thing i am, i do have girls liking me but i can never seem to find one that i feel comfortable enough to have a relationship with. However, just to sidestep and bore you with my life for a moment, i met a girl who i absolutely adored, we became friends, and the other nite she told me she liked me more than a friend. Obviously i was amazed, but thing is she has a partner. And im not gonna play second best to anyone. And it also brings me on to the subject of confidence.
Im guessing you are under-confident, like me, i am the most under-confidenced person in the world. I have no self-asteem. Things in my life just dont seem to fit together, im 20 and i still dont know what i want to do with life yet, ive got a part-time job in a shitty restaurant. But some days i get and i try and forget about shit like that, we r still young after all and we are supposed to enjoy life. As Doctor urve said ' Confidence is the key'
So what im trying to say to you is that there are plenty of people out there in similar posistions, and many in worse. Even tho i know its hard try not to let it get you down. Start making friends with girls before wanting an immediate relationship, this way you'll also be able to tell if you are compatible. It will happen matey trust me, just a matter of time.
Sorry i sidestepped abit, good luck with everything.
Regards.
Yeah - it does make me feel like shit sometimes, and the worse thing about it is that I sometimes get snappy and take it out on my mates, or lock myself away to sulk about it :mad:
I am a generally confident person, although when it comes to girls (esp. ones I like) yes my confidence levels drop loads!
Once again thanks for the friendly advice, and good luck to you too
and he's the greatest person in the world ever.
Not that I'd know
Geeesh! Your too kind! Thats one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me!
Thanks!
My only advice is find something else to take your mind off girls. My plan involves going travelling after uni, and seeing where life takes me. I've decided that I don't want some tech job in a place devoid of women, as I had originally planned for until recently.
It works most of the time, but depression still hits hard.
Having said all that, you've got a few years of uni left, you may get lucky. I have a couple left myself, but I've given up hope. There's only so much luck you can believe in after a certain point. And it is down to luck mostly. Confidence and good looks play a part, but if you're never in the right place at the right time, forget it.
I'm actually in my final year, because I am doing a HND (I was too thick to do a Degree!) although I am considering a bridging course to a degree...
Too damn right about the right place and the right time, also the good looks, well it looks like I'll have to polish up my confidence skills, as theres not much I can do about my looks lol
And the best of luck to you in the future, and dont give up hope:)
It does get depressing that i seem to be the only person who can't get a girlfreind, so it is encouraging to hear there are others in my situation.
I guess looking on the bright side of it though you'll appreciate it more when you finally do find someone.
Geesh, there is quite a few of us out there then!
Yeah - But I'd wish it'd just hurry up sometimes!!!