relationships at uni do they last?

Former Member

hey there i'm not realy into sharing stuff with ppl as i normally tend to keep it to myself but hey maybe this is worth a try... well i've been going out with my bf for about 3 months now and it's going really great! but the thing is that he's a yr older than me which means he's going to uni in september i know it's not for another 9 months but they way things are going we will still be together by then i just don't know if i can face loosing him! all the uni's that he's applied to are miles away n i dunno if we will last.. what do you think?

Former Member

long distance relationships are not easy. you have to work at them. if you like this guy or even love him then talk to him about your concerns.

make sure that you two talk a lot, that helps. when you guys do get together then it should be good because you are just happy to be together. not saying that it will last, but it could. just gotta try and work at it.

Former Member

Sorry doll, but I think that it's highly unlikly that you will last...
Think of all the other women he's going to come across....
PLUS....long distance relationships hardly ever work out.
Sorry, SweetLeaf X

Former Member

Originally posted by SweetLeaf

PLUS....long distance relationships hardly ever work out.

they do if you work really hard and want them to. It won't be easy with him at uni cos he'll be meeting loads of new people, out every night and far away from you and you'll be at home. BUT if you both want it to work out there's no harm in trying is there? It will be hard but if you think it's worth it then give it a go.

Former Member

well i really like him and i know that he likes me too as he told me that he didn't want our time together to end but the thing is that if i like him this much now i'm going to like him even more in 9 months time n i dunno if i want to get that close to him knowing that he's going away for 3 years and i'm only going to be able to see him on holidays! i really don't know what to do!

Former Member

well, im a guyy, and i would never cheat. never ever. in fact, if i had my way, i would never break up with ym current girlfriend. a psychic reader told me that i am destined to have my heart broken at least 5 times. And that is from true love, where apparently, you will die for the other person. But, recently, i have realised that i dont value my own life so much as the lives of the people around me. Does that mean im in love with every1 i know?
psychics, dont ever have it right do they?:p

So, if you love him, try and go for it. if he loves you back he wont cheat (or shudent) and holidays arent all that bad. It creates tension or w/e so when you do see each other you will be more happy (or so the theory goes). I know it would be better to see each other everyday but if you stay in contact and talk to each other as often as possiblke it will only add strangth to the relationship. I get very upset just over the weekends when i dont see my gf!

I hope you decide what is best for you and are lucky with that!

Former Member

ok then well i understand that i need to talk to him bout this n how it's making me feel but i just can't seem to work out what to say! or how to start or anything! any help there? every time i talk about us he gets all worried that i'm going to break up with him n i don't want anything like that to happen! maybe i just worry too much. but the thing is it's not like he's just going away he's going to uni n everyone knows the stories about uni where everyone gets with everyone it's not like i don't trust him coz i do i just dont know what to think anymore!

Former Member

Having just started my 2nd year of uni I have to say that hardly any long distnace relationships have worked out. There are 2 that I know that have worked: one where they have an "open" relationship and the other one they have been together 7 years!!!

I also know a few people who felt they never had fun in their 1st year at uni because they were always travelling at weekends and/or staying in to phone their other half.

I suppose there is a chance that a long distance relationship would work at uni but I am sorry to say it is highly unlikely.

Former Member

Originally posted by JohnS
Having just started my 2nd year of uni I have to say that hardly any long distnace relationships have worked out.

this is true. i actually only know one couple that are still together, and they have a lot of problems.

it's not the long distance thing, it the change from being short-distance to being long-distance that people have trouble with.

and then there are so many new experiences that you share with the other people round you and not with your b/f or g/f.

long distance relationships DO work, I'm currently in one, but ours has always been long distance, we haven't had to adapt to anything. and it takes a LOT of will power/effort/faith in the relationship.


having said that, it's 9 months away, i wouldn't worry too much. you might not feel the same then, and if you do, it's a bridge to cross then, and not to work yourself up with now.

Former Member

I don't mean to put a dampner on your rel, but you are young, there's a lot you both need to go through and uni makes people change. But 9 months is a long time and there's no saying you will together then. Take each day as it comes and enjoy it for now without worrying about the future.

In my first year at uni I did feel very trapped and unable to do things as I was constantly either with my b/f as he was at uni about 20 miles away or on the phone to him. It meant I didn't meet people properly, didn't get close to my friends and felt left out a lot of the time, especially when I split up with him.

It also led me to change courses, but in the mean time i'd met my fiance and was really happy with him. the last thing I wanted was to go away and leave him. But I went off to uni and lasted 6 weeks, before quitting, basically under a threat that he couldn't cope and we wouldn't last me being there. Leaving was the worst decision of my life though it has to be said.

Uni isn't really a place for relationships, certainly not ones left at home. It sin't fair on the person left behind. Your there having a good time, out every night etc so ignoring that person, or it can go the other way where you feel miserable becuase you are never out because of talking on the phone to your partner etc.

Sorry to be negative it's just my opinion. Long distance realtionships can work if the effort is put in, I just don't think long distance in a situation like university can work.

But as everyones said, you do need to discuss this with him. It's for the two of you to decide whether you can cope with this strain and pressure.

Former Member

*agrees with kazbo*

:rolleyes:
________
Body Science

Former Member

My husband and I lasted a long 2 years apart.... and we were ok. It can definitly be done... but only if both people are focused enough on concentrating on the relationship. it definitly isnt easy... probably one of the hardest things ive done....
but if there is a will there is a way


i think...
if you love someone and they love you....
then nothing else matters
and the effort will be put in to stay together...


(ahhh... im such a dork

Former Member

If you both want it to work and are prepared to work at it then it will work. My boyfriend lives more than 100miles away from me (at uni) and we are still together, both have been faithful and we have a brilliant relationship because the time we spend together is v special. A bit like qualitly rather than quantity.

Former Member

cheers for all ya help we have talked about it n decided that we're gonna have a good 9 months n decide on it then

Former Member

hey, i'm just gonna tell you that a long distance relationship can last, i'v ebee with my Bf for a year now and we have always lived 70 miles apart, it was very hard in the begining when all you want to do is be together, but now i believe that we can lead our own lives ( we both work long hours) and the time we spend together is v.specail so that even now we are still in the honeymoon stage. my housemate also has an even longer distance relationship as her husband is in the navy. so don't worry you still have a long time to go before he goes and so make the most of the time together, and start saving up as the phone bill will be huge!!
hope all works out for you

Former Member

Hi there well ure happy rite now keep things going(what i wood say nyway). Im in the same situation exactly but jist gonna keep going he cood leave me or i mite leave him cant really tell whats gonna happen in the future. Main thing is that u do what u want. He may be goin away but you can still see each other. I dont live that near 2 my bf an sumtimes only c him a couple times a month but we still love each other nothing can change that. Distance may mean u dont c each other all the time dose this matter 2 u?