I hate my boyfriend's parents!!!!

Former Member

Morning all

Ok, me and boyfriend getting on really well lately..

Saturday was his birthday and we decided to go for a nice meal. He phones me Friday saying his parents and his sister want to come along too as they would like to meet me. Fair enough I was happy that he wanted his parents to be introduced, although I was slightly narked that it had to be on his Birthday night, when I would have preffered to dine alone (you know - romantic and all)

So anyways, we picked his sister and her husband up on the way and had a small chat. I found them very down to earth and nice. We were slightly late as boyfriend is a complete tart! Got to the restaurant and his parents were already waiting looking very stern faced and unfriendly.

Boyfriend introduced me only for his mum to nod and his dad to sort of mumble hello. (Rude!) We sat at the round table and got off to a bad start as we ordered drinks and I went to light a cigarette. His dad then turns round and says 'Sorry but I will not tolerate smoking at my dinner table' (oh dear) I tried to apologise and put my fag away to then be told by his mum that there was better things to do than smoke like make conversation!!

The whole night was horrible and they made me feel very uncomfortable. It was only the sweet nature of his sister that kept me slightly sane and the fact it was b/friends b-day that kept me quiet. Even when we went to leave, his mum shouted 'excuse me' to me - put him down and take your coat! (I had pecked him on the cheek)

I later quizzed him about there opinion and he avoids the subject.

I'm just really upset because I've never had a problem with parents before - usually they love me! I just can't understand why they wouldn't like me and I find it very snobbish that they are judging me for whatever reason. I couldn't stop thinking about it last night..

What to do?..

Former Member

He’s a mummy boy maybe;) (In his mum’s eyes, or he’s her favourite child) and nothing & no one will be goon enough for him. So you have to buy one of them dealing with troubled mums books and see what good tips they can offer

Or dump your bf!

Or don’t meet them again! (Kinda hard seeing as their his parents!)


Sorry!:o

Former Member

Mistress,

what did you wear? If they are really old fashioned any hint of a waist line or cleavage would be enough to make them hate you!!!

I dont know how long you have been going out together, but how has your boyfriend spent last birthdays? Perhaps they felt it should have just been a family occasion?

Perhaps your boyfriend had an Ex that they really approved off and were cross that he broke up with her?

Some parents just set out not to like their childs new partner because they would rather keep their baby to their own. No one would ever be good enough for the baby. If they had their way your boyfriend would probably still be living at home wearing nice cardigans and y-fronts that his mother bought.

Perhaps next time you see them you should take them a home made fruit cake, and go round in your ankle length tweed skirt and twin set.

Or otherwise just learn to be civil and polite around them

Former Member

Hmmm.. I did awear a dress with the slightest hint of cleavage but on my boyfriends request!

He's told me before his ex of three years never made an effort with his parents and now I see why!

I do know that his mum hates his brother's girlfriend as they split and got back together and needless to say, they were absent from the meal. :rolleyes:

Former Member

Unfortunately, if you don't want to majorly piss off your man, you're going to have to grin & bear it. At least until something blatantly rude occurrs, because he's not going to see his darling parents as being in the wrong here. Play nice until they start to love you & if that doesn't happen, at least you can't be blamed for not making an effort.

Former Member

Originally posted by KinkyRed
Unfortunately, if you don't want to majorly piss off your man, you're going to have to grin & bear it. At least until something blatantly rude occurrs, because he's not going to see his darling parents as being in the wrong here. Play nice until they start to love you & if that doesn't happen, at least you can't be blamed for not making an effort.

I disagree, i'd say he does see his parents are rude but maybe is unable to stand up to them.

From personal experience with my own parents i find sometimes they forget your an adult and its hard to over rule your parents as it were.

They never see you as fully independant !!!

He needs to have a word with his parents and say that he felt they were out of order.

Plus if your in a restaurant and no food has been served she should be able to smoke. Etiquette is not too when someone is eating !

He needs to grow some testicular fortitude and battle his mum.

The Dad is probably a pussy without her !

Former Member

Yes D_M_X, I see your point. TheMistress should clearly bring this up & demand that he challenge his parent after only having met them once.
Sounds like a sound plan:yeees:

Former Member

Originally posted by KinkyRed
Yes D_M_X, I see your point. TheMistress should clearly bring this up & demand that he challenge his parent after only having met them once.
Sounds like a sound plan:yeees:

Well to be fair Kinky, most people are nice when they meet you first and then decide to be pricks if they don't like you (Adults anyway)

In this case it seems that the parents do it coz they know they can !

That suggests to me he needs to put foot down, especially if he cares for her !

Former Member

Yes I totally agree

But, I think (not positive mind you) that his parents are kind of like this with him, but he's blind to it. He has so much respect for both but I don't think they do him. If they had, they would have made his birthday as special as possible as he was decent enough to invite them out!

I think I'll let it slide this once but if I have to see them again and if the behaviour is the same then I'll definately say something! I'm not going to be treated like that by anyone.

To be honest I think they have labelled me as 'slapper single mother out to hurt their son' which is so unfair because Im so not.

Former Member

Originally posted by D_M_X


Well to be fair Kinky, most people are nice when they meet you first and then decide to be pricks if they don't like you (Adults anyway)

While this is true, when it come to a partner's parents it's unwise to cause a big fuss after the first meeting as she's likely to come across as a whiney spoilt little madam.
Besides, first impressions are often misleading - TheMistress may well have caught them at a very bad moment.
There's no point charging in & making demands just yet.

Former Member

Originally posted by KinkyRed


While this is true, when it come to a partner's parents it's unwise to cause a big fuss after the first meeting as she's likely to come across as a whiney spoilt little madam.
Besides, first impressions are often misleading - TheMistress may well have caught them at a very bad moment.
There's no point charging in & making demands just yet.

Beauty and brains...........

No i do see your point of view but i just think respect should be a two way thing !

But yeah TheMistress I agree let it slide and if it happens again get out the rack and the gimp suit !!!!!

Former Member

well, my parents are really, well, concealing. they act really nice and stuff, so i think its getting along fine, but i know that they were like this to my brothers girlfriend then slagged her off saying she was a control freak (well, she was, she cried because she wasnt allowed to come to a family occasion)

my parents have said "i dont want her hitting you" because once we were messing and my gf slapped my playfully on the backl of the head. anyway, i always set my parents straight, and tell them what i think and why my gf is the best.

my parents are cool with it, and some argument about the gf is not bad. unless of course my mum says we r doing all these things (too many magazines) when we r barely kissing yet! i get too embarresed. but tell your boyfriend you are worried his parents dont like you and he might copme up with something constructive...

Former Member

Meeting the parents can be such a scary experience. I was dreading meeting my boyfriend's parents as they are completely the opposite of me and my family: Tory, fairly well off (Dunc and his brothers all went to a private school), Daily Mail readers...I don't know, just different, so I was convinced that they would hate me. His Dad's a bit prickly with an odd sence of humour, always seems a bit cool towards me, but I seem to have made a good impression on his Mum, which is a relief. As the others have said, I think your best option is to grin and bear it, and hope the other meetings go better. Maybe they were just having an off day, or it will be better in a more relaxed environment?

I hope all goes well, as everything else seems to be pretty good in your relationship