If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Okay, need to be given blunt advice...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm feeeling very weird this morning and confused. I kinda know the answer to this already, but maybe some of the boys could help me out....
It involves exes and drunken phone calls.
Basically, my ex dumped me two months ago. He's got his own business and he says though he loves me to bits and I'm the only girl he wants to be with, that he can't have a girlfriend and treat me properly whilst also giving 100% to his business. Fairy nuff. We stayed 'friends' and in contact, seen each other a few times since (when it has been just like we never split up, sex and all) then I met up with another guy, and tho I don't really fancy him and only wat to be mates, he has taken my mind slightly off the ex.
So contact with the ex has been a bit less over the last ten days - to the point where we hadn't spoken to each other for over a week cos we kept missing each others calls. I had left him alone completely for four days, then he starts callinh me again. But when I called back he didn't answer his phone. Then he'd call me, I'd miss it, so on cat and mouse till...
Sunday night I finally get through to him. He's out and a few pints worse for wear, but he's been more drunk. Tipsy really. We chat and then he has to go cos everyone he's with is going for the train. Cool.
Then fifteen minutes later he calls again. More chatting about nothing in particular. Then he has to go again. Calls me back ten minutes later, more inane chat, by which point I'm getting bored.
Then another ten mins later he calls again, this time, on the train. He starts talking about us and missing me, and why don't we go out some time, to the cinema or something. I say cool and he says what about tomorrow night (Monday, last night). I said well fine, but text me tomorrow if you mean in and you're not just drunk. He says, no definitely, come up to mine for about 7 and we''l grab some dinner then see XXX. Cool.
Sorry this is long....
So yesterday I'm assuming everything is on for the evening. I know he's in court all day so I can't contact him. Then quarter to seven I decide to text him to let him know I'm on my way. 15 mins later he texts " just got home, completely fucked and not up for tonight at all, we'll do it another time, call you in a bit"
So I'm already en route and now completely raging. He says he's had a tough day, I say couldn't you have let me know? He says I'm not in mood for argument and hangs up.
Later last night he sends text saying sorry I have messed you about again, is tomorrow night any good? I just wouldn't be very good company tonight.
I haven't replied.
Please analyse. What's going on in his head, shall I meet him at all, and why do people call you when drunk and say nice things they don't mean?
Sorry, v long.
It involves exes and drunken phone calls.
Basically, my ex dumped me two months ago. He's got his own business and he says though he loves me to bits and I'm the only girl he wants to be with, that he can't have a girlfriend and treat me properly whilst also giving 100% to his business. Fairy nuff. We stayed 'friends' and in contact, seen each other a few times since (when it has been just like we never split up, sex and all) then I met up with another guy, and tho I don't really fancy him and only wat to be mates, he has taken my mind slightly off the ex.
So contact with the ex has been a bit less over the last ten days - to the point where we hadn't spoken to each other for over a week cos we kept missing each others calls. I had left him alone completely for four days, then he starts callinh me again. But when I called back he didn't answer his phone. Then he'd call me, I'd miss it, so on cat and mouse till...
Sunday night I finally get through to him. He's out and a few pints worse for wear, but he's been more drunk. Tipsy really. We chat and then he has to go cos everyone he's with is going for the train. Cool.
Then fifteen minutes later he calls again. More chatting about nothing in particular. Then he has to go again. Calls me back ten minutes later, more inane chat, by which point I'm getting bored.
Then another ten mins later he calls again, this time, on the train. He starts talking about us and missing me, and why don't we go out some time, to the cinema or something. I say cool and he says what about tomorrow night (Monday, last night). I said well fine, but text me tomorrow if you mean in and you're not just drunk. He says, no definitely, come up to mine for about 7 and we''l grab some dinner then see XXX. Cool.
Sorry this is long....
So yesterday I'm assuming everything is on for the evening. I know he's in court all day so I can't contact him. Then quarter to seven I decide to text him to let him know I'm on my way. 15 mins later he texts " just got home, completely fucked and not up for tonight at all, we'll do it another time, call you in a bit"
So I'm already en route and now completely raging. He says he's had a tough day, I say couldn't you have let me know? He says I'm not in mood for argument and hangs up.
Later last night he sends text saying sorry I have messed you about again, is tomorrow night any good? I just wouldn't be very good company tonight.
I haven't replied.
Please analyse. What's going on in his head, shall I meet him at all, and why do people call you when drunk and say nice things they don't mean?
Sorry, v long.
0
Comments
"Move on"
If he loved you as much as he said he would make the time for you!!
I know i would:)
But seriously i think you should get out well you can
*hugs*
No-one should be treated like that.
I say move on & find someone who won't mess you around.
Just my thoughts.
Deep down maybe he does still love you, but it sounds to me as if he's just into his job and his own life to care about you the way you deserve.
Leave him be. Get on with your own life and don't let him get in your way or upset you. If wants you then he'll let you know in time.
It tends to be more of a "talking utter shite" when you're drunk thing.
Yeah I know. I know.
But it's just soooooooo frustrating.
I've been invited out by someone else tonight, and much as i'd liketo hope ex will ask me to see him tonight i know it will be sooo much the better and right thing to do to say to him sorry, i've got plans.
But I want to see him.
Fuck.
You will get over it though as silly as it sounds..
Going through a break up myself at the mo but things will be ok:)
*hugs*
James
Your comment would have kept some credibility if you dumped the Anti Men stance. It might work to poor fragile girlfriends writing to Dear Nora in the latest More magazine, but its not applicable here. Blokes and girls can both act this way and the bastard/bitch thing doesn't even have to play a part either.
There are so many possible reasons for his behaviour that it is hard to tell. Although obviously the most likely is the "We've split up but i'd like to think you'll be available whenever I need you, although this will involve me mucking you around as I have you tied to the end of this puppet string" reason.
I say if you want to see him, see him this one time. Try to judge it. Ask him some "Catch you out" questions to get the truth about why he didn't see you the other night. Then make a final decision on where you want to go.
I personally these days wouldn't put up with it because I have better things to be doing. But then if you could get around the mucking you around stage and just enjoy the casual sex then woo to you
Yes, the casual sex thing would be fabulous. I'm extremely horny at the mo and i think it's my sexual frustration that is clouding my judgement. I just have to ask tho - what kind of 'catch him out' questions? Examples please. And check your pm.
PM Checked and replied.
I think the kinda thing has to be a random "Oh so what did you get up to X night? I went to the pub" without mentioning the incident before hand could have him clutching at straws. Or maybe a "Did you go to bed early on X night? I was knackered!". My mind isn't on top form today so maybe those are poor ones. bah!