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im so selfish, dont want a navy boy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and i love him to pieces, i really didnt think i would find someone i feel so comfy with and get along so well with, i see him as my soul mate
thing is i know we prob wont stay together for ever, im 18! its very young i think, i feel it is a shame and that we have met too young, but hey we might stay together who knows, he thinks we will and i love him sooooooo much even though i know we prob wont i can see my self with him.
but there is one big problem in it, he is in the navy, and yester day went away for the first time, for 4 months, i think i will cope sort of ok, but im feel sooooooooooo selfish, i cant see my self staying long term with someone i see for 2 months a yr, the other 10 he will be god knows where,
i just dont want to when im older, live on my own, sleep on my own, not have him when i really need him and i think about it every day but i would never make him quit i just dont know what to do
thing is i know we prob wont stay together for ever, im 18! its very young i think, i feel it is a shame and that we have met too young, but hey we might stay together who knows, he thinks we will and i love him sooooooo much even though i know we prob wont i can see my self with him.
but there is one big problem in it, he is in the navy, and yester day went away for the first time, for 4 months, i think i will cope sort of ok, but im feel sooooooooooo selfish, i cant see my self staying long term with someone i see for 2 months a yr, the other 10 he will be god knows where,
i just dont want to when im older, live on my own, sleep on my own, not have him when i really need him and i think about it every day but i would never make him quit i just dont know what to do
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I do get your dilemma.
Both of my cousins have had boyfriends who were both very active in the military, and never really knew, "where I am going to be tomorrow".
One of them led a long relationship with her boyfriend, lasted approximately 4 years (she is only 23). In the end they broke up, the ultimate reason for the break up, wasn't his duties within the military, but it placed a huge starin on the relationship, and was of course a big factor causing the break-up.
It was also quite hard on her, not having some kind of stability, and being sleepless at nights when he wasn't able to call her and tell her, I am not coming home (ocurred quite often).
It's tough, it is. But give it a go, who knows?
Lots of good luck, hope it works out.
xxx
P.S. A major plus side is, you get a guy in a uniform *drools*
yea, don't look to me for any type of real advice tonight.
Her parents have being together since they were 16 or something n they are doin ok. This is maybe a bit forward in to the future to say but just tellin u.
Dont frett...or at least not yet!
My blokey of 1 year this month (yeah!)is also away alot of the time...he's infact away all of the time, and i'm currently in one of those "long distance relationships" Not only is he in the military, but he's in his own countries military in Dubai!!!!
This all means that in actual fact i havent seen him for over 5 months...i'm not gonna lie and tell you that its easy. cos it aint, but him going away doesnt mean that your relationship is down the pan ok. As long as you are both sure that you wanna stay together in the near future, then you can make it work.
As it is, i only get to talk to my man about once a week if im lucky, but the time we do have to talk to one another is great!
As others have said, don't think too hard about the future and long term plans...i fell in to that trap and it aint pretty!! Reasons for and against staying together or splitting up made for BIG arguements, and were generally a waste of time, cos right now we both want to stay together. So focus on now and not in a year or so.
Basically talk it through with him...suss out if you are BOTH really wana stay together, and then just make it work.
Good luck, hope i kinda helped, or at least let you know your not alone.
Love ya
Jules xxxxxx
anyway, we were together from october til february until he got called away. anyway, i didn't get a chance to say goodbye, only a text message telling me he'd try and email when he could.
to cut a long story short, before he went away, we had a lot of fun together, but i was viewing it as nothing too serious. when he left i realised that i really was starting to fall for him, and pined over him the whole time he was away.
anyway, he was gone 8 months in total, and when we did finally get a chance to meet up again, he had turned into a complete bastard. i don't know what it was, but something about his time away on duty had made him put up this wall, and he didn't want to let anyone in. basically he had turned from being a loving caring guy, into someone who could only be physically intimate, not emotionally.
i still don't know what he went through out there, but i know that the combination of the time apart, and the things he saw out there changed him.
anyway, this is not the case for all relationships. it's just what happened in my case. you should just look at this as being another form of long-distance relationship. however, you should prepare yourself for not being able to contact him. that's the worse thing about it! but i am sure that if you both want it to work, and both agree on how things will be between you, you can make it work.
good luck!
i keep thinking i could have him and not see him much, or npt have him at all, and i guess having him wins.
thing is im 18, got my first boyf when i was 17, u never know how long it will be till you find someone u really do love, and this may not happen again and then i wont have any one, that sounds very selfish! but god i just want him back! i havnt even been able to get in touch with him yet, and after everyday contact to no contact since sun night its killing me!