my friend from work...

Former Member

hey so ive been working in the same place for over a year now and have some close friends there (mostly male but thats not surprising because there arent many girls really) anyway to get to the point one of my close male friends from work told me last nite that he wants to sleep with me! just like that! we were talking on the internet and he sort of blurted it out. i thought he was joking but it turned out he was being serious...my first feeling was of despair.. i didnt know what to say.i know i dont fancy him but i dont know if he has got the point. i keep wondering if i led him on in any way - i dont think i did i didnt know he liked me that way. i suppose the alarm bells had went off a while ago but i didnt want to hear them i dismissed it as imagination - i didnt want him to be like that with me. he was always very touchy when he was drunk but not overly so. however lately hes been wanting to see me on my own more and more - i shouldve known.we usually go out in a big group but i thought i was i dont know, "safe" with him. anyway last night he told me he wants to sleep with me - no false "i love you's or anything!" i said but youre my friend hoping he would get the point then i said it just wouldnt feel right especially after being dumped by my boyfriend not that long ago. he said thats ok i'll still be here when you feel better. he didnt get the point did he?? i didnt want to be really blunt hes my friend i didnt want to hurt him! i dont know how to tell him im just not interested.oh god. what a mess. when i realised he was being serious i felt so...disappointed in him. i know that sounds weird but.. i thought he was my friend, i thought..that i would never need to worry about anything like this with him. im just not attracted to him at all he's more like my brother than anything. how do i tell him no without hurting him?any advice would be appreciated!:(

Former Member

Well, some people are really hard headed with their set ideas in love, aren't they?!. They just will not listen, no matter how you say it to them, no matter if u spell it out to them. If the guy is totally nuts about you there's a chance he's probably not going to settle for NO. He's gonna keep bringing up excuses to justify the reason why u r giving him the big No No. He's not gonna listen to ya, mate!.

I would just start ignoring him completely. If he doesn't understand it with the good ways, then u'll hve to give it to him the bad way.

Just ignore him. If you have to be rude to him, be so. At the end of the day he 's gonna drive u banana's and u r going to grow to hate him. Tell him this, maybe then he'll back off!!. Even better, tell him how u have bumped into a guy who u have fallen madly inlove with. Maybe that way he'll get the message!!

Former Member

thing is i have to work with him and i really dont want things to get awkward. you see ive been in this situation a few times - im starting to wonder what im doing wrong!! anyway the time before was ANOTHER guy from work and it was horrible i still dont think he has got the picture he just wouldnt take no for an answer no matter how i said it.my friend that now wants to sleep with me knows all about it and how awful it was - surely he wouldnt do exactly the same thing to me?? oh i dont know...:( ps the guy before didnt even get the message when i was with my boyfriend! it was just like he totally blanked that i was seeing someone!