Can't think of a good subject title!

Former Member

Simple question - When meeting a new partner, and after a few dates, do you have an official "Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" routine???

Just felt like asking as it turns out quite a few people I know seem to think you HAVE to do this, yet all my relationships from the past (and even present) have just naturally evolved into a boyfriend/girlfriend setup without either of us officially saying it..

It seems to me like something you would do at school, not something that 2 grown adults would need to say?

What do you all think? (if that made sense)

Former Member

Totally agree there, the 'can you be my boyfriend/girlfriend' I feel is strictly for school goers or persons with a very low IQ.

If your unsure as to whether you are a 'couple' as such then then best and most romantic way to find out is to declare your feelings over a meal, bottle,and smoke.

However I do agree with you and I think you just 'know', unspoken agreement.

Former Member

I think you dont need to say will you be my girlfriend etc, but you do need to clarify what each other wants for the relationship.

Former Member

Originally posted by CRAZYREDEYES
I think you dont need to say will you be my girlfriend etc, but you do need to clarify what each other wants for the relationship.

This is correct, something always has to be said...of course if you say I love you then its taken as read.

Former Member

Something does have to be said, I agree with the others on that. Quite exactly what you say is another matter altogether. "Will you be my girl/boyfriend?" sounds rather primary-schoolish. I'm not an expert on these matters, but I'd recommend that whenever it is said, it should be in a private environment. Maybe a bit of music in the background, nice meal and all that.

Former Member

agreed, its important to know where ya stand... n define what ya want, saves confusion n stops anyone getting hurt.... but I don't think I've had the "will u b my boyfriend/girlfriend" conversation sinc I was about 16!

Former Member

I had a will you be my girlfriend type conversation a couple of weeks ago, although rather unfortunately it was with a 9 year old.

Needless to say I rather impolitely refused her kind offer.

Poor girl, however will she get over my cruel rejection?

Former Member

I have had the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation with my ex. Ages ago, when we got back together - we made a joke out of it. It's a good way of knowing where you stand..

Former Member

Always a difficult one. After me and my boyfriend had been together about 4 months we kind of talked about it and said we'd just be together exclusively. There was no official asking about being each others boyfriend & girlfriend.

Former Member

I think definitely the "Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?" conversation should be left to your school days though in any budding relationship there has to be some sort of clarification of what is going on. "Are you friends? Are you seeing each other? Are you exclusive?" You're letting that person into your life and sharing your experiences with them it is only fair to both people to indicate what you are both aiming for out of the relationship. Even if they are casual goals it's nice to let the other person know so that they don't expect anymore than what is being offered.