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Meeting girls
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
First of all, appologies if this is in the wrong section, but it seems appropriate to me.
Ok, I'm 21, at uni, and I've never had a girlfriend (or been with a girl) in my life. I don't think I'm especially bad looking (although I do wear glasses), and I've had opportunities back in school, but I was too shy to act on them.
I just NEVER meet any girls. I'm on an all male course (as I was in 6th-f college), which doesn't help. Most of my friends are in the same position as me, except they've usually had at least one girlfriend in the past. In other words, I stopped knowing any girls when I hit 16.
I really don't have any ideas about meeting girls. The only possibility I can think of is to go clubbing. I don't like house music (I'm a metaller), but I could get into it I guess. Am I likely to meet girls this way, even if only to find that one/both of us don't really get on? Do many blokes pull in clubs, or is it a myth? And do girls wait for the blokes to come to them, or do they actively seek out blokes they fancy on the dance floor?
This is really depressing me, to the point where I sometimes find it hard to think of other things, especially when I'm trying to relax/sleep. I know it will ruin my life eventually. Any ideas/advice much appreciated.
Ok, I'm 21, at uni, and I've never had a girlfriend (or been with a girl) in my life. I don't think I'm especially bad looking (although I do wear glasses), and I've had opportunities back in school, but I was too shy to act on them.
I just NEVER meet any girls. I'm on an all male course (as I was in 6th-f college), which doesn't help. Most of my friends are in the same position as me, except they've usually had at least one girlfriend in the past. In other words, I stopped knowing any girls when I hit 16.
I really don't have any ideas about meeting girls. The only possibility I can think of is to go clubbing. I don't like house music (I'm a metaller), but I could get into it I guess. Am I likely to meet girls this way, even if only to find that one/both of us don't really get on? Do many blokes pull in clubs, or is it a myth? And do girls wait for the blokes to come to them, or do they actively seek out blokes they fancy on the dance floor?
This is really depressing me, to the point where I sometimes find it hard to think of other things, especially when I'm trying to relax/sleep. I know it will ruin my life eventually. Any ideas/advice much appreciated.
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Comments
Does your uni have a student union bar? Why not try and talk to people there?
In a nightclub
On the Bus
Through a friend
Doing my paper round
In town, outside the chip shop (classy)
If there's no girls on your course, aren't there societies you could join? (Don't join just to meet girls, join something you are interested in). Or a sport. I have never met any blokes in the gym but when I went to boxercise classes it was easy to get talking to people (well you can't really avoid it when you have to punch them!)
Good luck.
Surely one of your mates must know women, even if they're not interested in them themselves, ask them to bring them out to a club one night. Basically try and get a small crowd of about 5-7 people, try and get as even a mixture of girls and boys as possible and basically just go out to have a laugh.
Don't start talking to these women with the sole intent of getting off with them. Be funny, go for a casual chatting technique, pick one out of the group that you like and get on well with, then either go in for the kill or arrange to meet again.
Even if you're not interested in one or two of them, try and get to know them aswell cos they will have other female friends that they may bring out with them the next time.
If you can't get any of your mates to bring out some birds, just go down a club in a smallish group of 3-4, find a similar sized group of women, start talking to them casually and generally follow the same instructions as above.
Lay on the flirting as you see fit and generally aim to have a good time with these girls. If they know the only thing ure after is a kiss and a grope or to get your leg over, chances are they`ll keep their distance. However, if they just think you're out for a good time and will not necessarily try and suck their faces off at the end of the evening, they're more likely to get close with you and allow you to make a move.
I know how you feel being a metaller in a club. I like rock and metal and found it sort of difficult to get in to the swing of things at first but eventually you`ll start to like the music and even end up with a few dance tracks on your computer
I used to go out very rarely if at all. Now I`m out every friday and saturday. I don't pull very often (not really a very good lookin bloke altho I always get top marks for personality
Okay, that was a very long post, hope that answers all your qs and good luck...
I really hate this shyness - imagine your in a Pub or somewhere and you see your dream girl - you're to shy, she's to shy, you spend 3 hours at the same room, just looking at each other sometimes - and then you/she leave(s) and nothing happend... Maybe that person could have changed your life ... but you'll never know ...
Ok a little bit showily, but I don't want to know how many chances I've missed because of that shyness.
why don't you start off with some industrial music??
send me a PM let me know where u live and I'll let u know some good goth/ ind/ metal clubs where you're more likely to find someone
if you're a metaller you'll find that a relationship with a 'normal' girl can be a waste of time (_speaking thru bitter exp_)
yes blokes pull in clubs.. but don't expect to find love there
But seriously, be yourself but never pass up an opportunity to do something....soon you will find your world will have indeed become an oyster.
Start off by making friends and the see if any thing devolops. These articles on the site may be usefull
Making new friends
Get A Social Life
Talyn said a lot that I agree with too.......saves me writing anymore
Woman logic is to relate it to shopping something they know about very well, I like it:)
You could have used buses as well:D
I'll try to remember to post again if I have any luck in the coming months.
Go to places that you are interested in, be yourself, enjoy yourself. Clubs are difficult to pull in, metal ones are no different (unless you're in the middle of a mosh - THEN it's impossible!!)
When people do come up to you, try not to be defensive (it's easily done), or if your approaching someone, don't be in their face and too eager. Relax, smile, be outgoing.
I met some of my close friends by starting with a passing remark and then going back to talk to them later. We built up friendships from there. In one particular case, I'm now going to be godfather to her daughter, all in the space of knowing her for a year.
*squishes a tangerine in ya face*:p
*throws said pudding at OB*
btw - if uve tried emailing me earlier and failed, it is because I have now been banned from using email at work
*throws manager*
That's how I met my ex :rolleyes: and we were together for years.
Go out and wear a T-Shirt with 'Talent Spotter' written on the from, you might get plenty of looks from the opporsite sex...who knows.
.....to go one better than that, visit www.laden.co.uk as they sell t-shirts with "Male Escort Service" written across the front. Believe me, you DO get attention and silly comments from the laydeez with this!