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Someone help. Please...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am so confused and unhappy, I really don't know what to do anymore. About a week ago, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel the same way about me anymore, that something was missing from our relationship and that he couldn't see us having a future together.

It was such a huge, terrible blow to me, because we have been together for such a long time and our relationship has always been incredibley intense and loving. He is everything to me, best friend, lover, everything, my whole world. Without him, I feel like I am literally crumbling away into nothing.

He says he has lost sense of who he is, that he needs to find himself, and that he can't do that with me. He says he still loves me, but not enough, obviously. We live together and still sleep in the same bed, but there is no touching at all. I long to do something as simple as hold his hand, but when I reach for him, he cringes, turns away. And it hurts so much. When I asked him about it, he said it just doesn't feel right anymore.

I really don't know what to do. The thought of living without him is impossible, but to go on living here as just a friend, never being able to touch him again, just hoping and praying that one day things might get back to how they were....I don't know. I am finding it so hard to cope, I keep having panic attacks, can't sleep, can't eat, can't think about anything other than how much I want to hold him again.

I don't know what is wrong with me. Him not wanting me anymore is making me question everything about myself, my appearance, my personality, everything. :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx for your sympathy. But me/him moving out isn't that simple. Not being with him would kill me, literally, and if I have to settle for just being friends then I guess I'll just have to get over my wanting him and my unhappiness at not being able to have him properly. I truly couldn't live without him in my life.

    We are also stuck in a contract with our house, which means we are legally bound to pay rent for another year and neither of us can afford to do that on our own.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi lillost,sounds like you and your b/f need to sit down and talk. If you both know that you have to stay at the same home, then you both know you are going to have to be civil and happy living together. I dont think am as old as you as im only 15 but at the moment im head over heals in love with my b/f who ive been going out with for 4 months and ive been faced with the fact that he is moving away next week to live somewhere else (1 hours drive from me but i dont drive) its not the same as your problem but im going to have to adapt to a long distance relationship rather than what shall i call it a local one and im going to have to accept that things may not work out and it may end! any way back to your problem If this change has come over night then you may want to ask your b/f what exactly his problem is afterall you have been seeing eachother for a while and should be able to talk things through, at least he will then know you are still there for him. if the relationship isnt meant to be then you are going to have to accept that you b/f has changed. Within our life we change alot, out grow eachother get bored of each other and have changes in our life, you cant hold someone down if they need to move on, one day u will need to move on and change but different ppl do it at different rates and some have big changes whereas others only have small changes. i have two moto's in life one is that, we all live n all die whats in between is a bonus, and the other is dont cry cos its over smile because it happened. Goodluck hope you can sort things out but be prepared it maybe time to change and face new challenges.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am feeling this way today and although i cant say i know what you feel like because i dont i am feeling really down. My boyfriend has been acting strange wanting to do things alone all of the time hinting that he is fed up. he is slowly trying to get rid of me he never really talks much and we rarely kiss/cuddle and all he ever thinks about is his hobby (football referee) its all he ever does/talks about he loves it i feel so left out. i have thought endlessly about to talk to him and when i do he tells me to shut up and says he does love me although it seems like a forced 'i love you'.

    I have thought all night about the pros and cons of our relationship pros =when im with him in his arms im happy, he can be lovely to me.

    Cons = hes too busy, reffing comes first, argue all the time, he cant be bothered, when with him worry about things, when not with him worry about things crying all of the time and generally unhappy, and very stressed! which causes me to get angry with him resulting in arguments and him disliking me more its a vicious circle.

    I know he is getting bored we both need a change i cant manage with this relationship much longer. the difference is i can walk away from it you will be forced with it constantly. You never get a break from him. In this contract cant one of you advertise for a tenant/housmate? hopefully the rent will be sorted and the other can lodge with a friend or reative temporaryily until you /he finds your feet?

    That is just a suggestion if it gets seriously bad. i suggest you sit down and talk as if it was something that you have done wrong. You should find out why all of a sudden he has reacted in this way. there is a chance you can work things out. how long have you both been together? if he is willing to give things another go i think you should try to do a few more things with each other. i know someone who was with her boyfriend for 5 years they split up 7 months ago because tehy no longer felt the same way but if you talk to either one they regret it and want to get back together. they are afraid to admitt it. i know now is not the time but you could plan a holiday either together and not have any worries to think of. or go alone when you return he may realise that he missed you. if you have a break he may feel that he misses you and needs you.

    either way communication is best if you feel that the relationship can be saved then try spicing it up do more different things together. but if the relationship has alrteady gone too far past saving (i think like mine) then you have to admitt that it has gone and try to work things out. I am here if you need to talk just PM me.

    Goodluck

    *DEVIL*
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