help!

Former Member

Hi

I have had a friend (lets name him john) for about a year now & we have always flirted with eachother & it has always been fun. Recently he told me he really liked me & wanted to be more than friends. We talked about it & decided because our lives are so different it would be a very bad idea to be girlfriend & boyfriend. So we decided that we would stay friends & if we felt like it (cos we both fancied eachother alot) we mite indulge in some sexual encounters... Well this was going fine & was really great & i thort we were good friends still, but then he started not to call me very much & didnt have as much time for me for about 2 weeks. Then after we go out in a group & he practically ignores me the whole nite he decides he cannot handle sleeping with me & just being friends - he wants more...the whole relationship thing, which we already decided we shouldnt do! So we decide to be just friends again...but i dont know if we are going to be able to stay friends cos of the feelings we have for eachother.

any advice would be appreciated!

Former Member

' Lets come together - right now- oh yeah - in sweet harmony'

Get it on or regret it

Former Member

Going through the same exact thing myself, only roles are reversed, and he doesn't want anything from me except friendship again. You already crossed the friendship line, and wether or not HE can handle going back to just being friends, will be the deciding factor. I can not handle going back to being just friends its too hard. Maybe though you guys can work it out. It sounds to me though that maybe you do want a little more. Can I ask why you can't be in a relationship? I am a little nosey but more information could help

Former Member

hi
i think that you should give it ago. you both have feelings for each other which go beyond friendship. if hes not speakin to you maybe hes realised he wants more and he knows you dont. whats there to loose?

Former Member

things are never simple....

Thanks - but the reason we can't really have a relationship is mainly due to the fact that I have a little boy. In one conversation I had with him he said that there was no way that he would have anything to do with having children for a very long time, which is fair enough - it's his choice. But seeing as my little boy is THE most important thing in the world to me, I don't think that he was thinking when he said that to me.
I'm not looking for a new dad for my little boy, I just wanted to have fun & be able to go out & have a laugh with this bloke (what did i call him?! oh yeh john!).
Well that's the main reason why he doesnt want a relationship...
so now what do u think? move on??

Former Member

hi again! so you think that the only reason stopping you havin a relationship with this guy is your kid?

Former Member

Yep - i like him in every way & i think the only reason why he doesn't want to start a proper relationship with me is that he thinks there's going to be loads of pressure about my son - which there wouldn't be cos with one dad gone i'm not rushing to find another one (who mite let him down again).
I haven't talked to him properly about that actually cos i dont know how to go about it...

Former Member

Umm how old are both of you?

Former Member

well....thats a good question! no - i do know really!
i am 26 (eek!) and he is 23
my little boy is only 6.