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University Fears

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
I was at Oxford Uni last year, but left at Christmas because I was having problems with depression and it was affecting my whole life. since then, these problems have got worse, and I'm going to Sheffield Uni in about 5 weeks.
Ive already been thinking about withdrawing from the course, as this depression thing is worse than ever, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to cope with the new surroundings, new work, new subject etc.
I feel sick and start to shake every time I think about university now, but I don't have any alternative but to go. I'm feeling pretty helpless.
Does anyone (especially those who've been in this position) have any advice?
Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you spoken to your doctor about your recent feelings? It may help, since you've said you have had problems with depression, and by the sounds of it added stress and anxiety from the upcoming university thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Like go_away said you should consult your GP. I hope you have sought some help for your depression already, but if not our mental health special has stacks of info to get you started.

    Go to your GP or your counsellor if you have one, and talk it all through. If you do decide to defer for a year, you must write directly to your uni ... however I would suggest you talk to your tutor/ department first to decide if it is really necessary.

    Take Care
    Susie :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Matthew. I am in the same situation as you, I was at Cardiff and left at Easter as I hated it and felt really low, and am starting over at a new place soon. Part of me is worried it will be the same (and I can't leave again unless I want to be disowned) but another part of me thinks that this time round I will know where I went wrong. Most unis have a student counseller, I went to one in Cardiff and it really helped. What exactly is it that you are dreading? For me, I didn't like the huge crowds of people and the fact there was nowhere peacful to go. I wish you luck and try not to worry, remember everyone is in the same situation, and you have the advantage that you know what to expect somewhat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: University Fears

    Matthew ive mention this before but if you don't feel ready then it might be worth you re-considering for this year. im going to sheffield too but i've defered till 2003 for money reasons and as ive got a brace and im too self concious to go before it's off. Ive been told im a dumbass and you cant see it.....you honestly can't but it has affected my confidence for years and when it's off (christmas) that will be it. I'm ignoring that part of my life.

    You should have a word to your doctor and if needs be have councilling and maybe defer for the year. Theres nothing worse to knock your confidence and will power than having to dropping out 2 years in a row!

    Without sounding awful my brother gave me councilling and what i found was that i needed the best part of this year to calm down and build back my confidence. I understand it's not the same as you but i have really bad feelings about this.

    Hope you're ok and what course are you doing?

    Kate x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm doing a BSc in Pharmacology. What about you Kate?
    I have spoken to my doctor, and I quote,
    "I've been a doctor for 25 years. It's a very stressful job but I've never taken a tablet or seen a counsellor in that time. Life has ups and downs and you just need to overcome them. I don't want you to become addicted to tablets."
    Not too helpful...
    I'm worried about fitting in socially (I'm not at all into clubs, drinking, nights out etc, and I'm very shy) and also about coping with the work (I may be good enough theoretically but I find it really hard to stop working and forget about it, to the extent that even when I'm not working all I think about is work.
    Do you have MSN Messenger Kate?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Matthew82
    I'm worried about fitting in socially (I'm not at all into clubs, drinking, nights out etc, and I'm very shy)

    Firstly, get a new doctor. You should also report that doctor because they aren't doing anything to help you!

    Secondly, you will find hundreds of different types of people at university and you will find a group of people you fit in with. Don't defer entry or withdraw because you're just going to fine the same problems arising next year. No matter how hard it is, just think how proud of yourself you'll be this time next year that you did it!

    Good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "I've been a doctor for 25 years. It's a very stressful job but I've never taken a tablet or seen a counsellor in that time. Life has ups and downs and you just need to overcome them. I don't want you to become addicted to tablets."

    NO!!! Do not accept that! But you have to accept that some doctors are utter wankers and must have had to do some serious ass rimming to get into medical school in the first place. How dare a person in that position do a comparason in the first place? :mad:

    Get a second opinion, they can get you in touch with someone who you can talk to, not all doctors believe the way out is to prescribe something. Or if you can't face seeing another doc, are there people you can talk to at the university? I hope it works out. xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i COMPLETELY understand

    dear matthew,
    i totally know where your coming from with this - i suffered from depression for a coupla years - still recovering - i was going to move to paris last year but got there and turned around - ive finally decided to hear to bristol this time around but im so scared. i feel like im relapsing - but the thing is that what people here have said is true - there are so many different types of people at uni that im sure you'll find friends easily - im the same as u - im quite shy and relatively quiet - i much prefer to listen and get self conscious so quickly but i reckon if i dont go, and same for you, its just making the whole thing into a bigger and bigger obstacle, when its really just a stage in life. as someone said before, there are counsellors at uni's and the great thing is that everyones in the same boat and will be really happy to meet you - best of luck with it, and i hope you decide to go - ive found the best thing to do is just smile - even when u dont feel like it, because everyone responds to smiley people, and theres the endorphins sciencey part too.:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Matthew - can I say two words? Jesus College?????

    A thought.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Matthew82
    I'm doing a BSc in Pharmacology. What about you Kate?
    I have spoken to my doctor, and I quote,
    "I've been a doctor for 25 years. It's a very stressful job but I've never taken a tablet or seen a counsellor in that time. Life has ups and downs and you just need to overcome them. I don't want you to become addicted to tablets."
    Not too helpful...
    I'm worried about fitting in socially (I'm not at all into clubs, drinking, nights out etc, and I'm very shy) and also about coping with the work (I may be good enough theoretically but I find it really hard to stop working and forget about it, to the extent that even when I'm not working all I think about is work.
    Do you have MSN Messenger Kate?

    Have you got my e-mail sweetie. I hope that when i get to sheffield you're gonna come over for a cuppa!! ok? I will get you to agre to that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Matthew - get a new doctor and report your old one. That was not an acceptable response and you deserve better. Either try another GP in your surgery or try a new surgery...call nhs direct to find where your nearest one will be:

    NHS Direct
    Advice and information on all health-related issues.
    Telephone: 0845 46 47

    Make an appointment, and explain how you've been feeling - be honest, there's no point pretending things are less of a deal than they are, and see how you go from there. Hopefully they'll have some decent advcie and support for you.

    Once that has been sorted, and with the help of the university's confidential counselling service, you may find uni won't be so bad.

    Take care
    Susie :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think his doctor was wrong as such. He wasn't helpful but they've got to worry as so many people this age get addicted to anti depressants. He should have offered psychological tests and councilling but he can't go prescribign left right and centre can he?

    Go see another doctor for advice!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DJP - how do you know?????
    Secondly, who are you (if you're there and I don't remember name, I'll check matriculation photo).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know I should report him, but he could be right. He's the one who's spent most of his life at medical school and treating people. all I know is that not all antidepressants are addictive (as long as you remember the line between antidepressants and sedatives, which can be addictive).
    I'll wait till I get to uni, and hopefully the doctor there, having been more used to seeing students, will be more sympathetic.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was quite a long time ago, but when I started Uni I was quiet, shy, not really into drinking, clubbing or much else.
    The first year I had some lonely moments but made friends, got pissed, grew up a LOT and had fun.
    By the final year I was very happy, skint and loving every minute. It was a sad day that I left for the final time at the end of my course.

    If you decide to do a course, you'll learn a lot more than the subject I hope. You'll gain confidence, friends for life, experience and self-sufficiency skills.

    What the hell did I come in here for anyway? Gah! I graduated in 1993 by the way.
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