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Potential Trigger so look after yourselves - Bullying VS Abuse.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Trigger warning again, sensetive content likely to be in this post please look after you 
What's the difference between bullying VS abuse?
Does someone have to be older and looking after you in order to abuse you?
Can bullying turn into abuse?
I'm not in danger, just to add
What's the difference between bullying VS abuse?
Does someone have to be older and looking after you in order to abuse you?
Can bullying turn into abuse?
I'm not in danger, just to add
0
Comments
Cheers Mike
I can't say who this person is on here specifically because I worry that people I know will find this post and stuff. I will say however it is not an adult or any adults I live with or know.
Thing is they're not a horrible person and I love them to bits it's just this behaviour towards me and my mum and I don't understand it. It's never towards anyone else which is why it's very hard to get people to take me seriously. At the same time I don't want people to turn against them either so don't know what to do. We've tried confronting them several times, my mum is very good at it but it just doesn't stop no matter what we do.
It's like a 50/50 split, the person I know and love whos caring and sweet then this abuse.
Going back to your earlier comment... now you've said the person is 14, I think you could look at the behavior you mentioned slightly differently. It's still technically abuse/bullying but (depending on your situation, I don't know the ins and outs) it could just be a case of a child needing to be put in his place and spoken to properly. Kids can be vicious little shits. The more info we have the more we can help, so anything you feel comfortable sharing would help us get more of an understanding.
Have you told your mum that it's constant?
I perfectly understand butterfly it is a very awkward situation and difficult to know what to do. All I can really do is just put up with it and hope it goes one day.
It really doesn't help my anxiety or depression at all when it gets bad.
Hugs really appreciated
My mum gets it as well. We've tried to get school involved they do nothing cos there isn't an issue at school for them to deal with. We have confronted them (the person) time and time again almost every day and they aren't allowed to get away with it but it still happens regardless.
I'd love to say it's just a ratty teenager. But even a 14 year old knows right from wrong, especially this one they have a good concious on their shoulders and know exactly what they are doing it's not like they're 8 and acting out cos they're 8. They'll be in Year 10 come September and I will thankfully be out of the house by then but when you put into perspective their age it doesn't add up to your typical teenager tantrum... we all go through it at varying levels but this is different and clearly deliberate. They can choose not to hurt me but do anyway they know exactly what they are doing.
None at all. It could be something as simple as me coming downstairs in the morning after I've woken up and standing in the same room as them only to get shouted at and shut in another room. Sometimes I dare not come out for a while cos I can't deal with it. I have my own anxiety and depression to deal with so sometimes it's just all I can do to get downstairs. If they're being particularly nasty they'll start picking on me about that too.
I'm just so fed up with it but there is literally nothing that we can do to solve it it is entirely down to the person to change. And that isn't happening yet unfortunatly.
If you met them and then I had told you all that I have you wouldn't believe me. It's only towards me and mum which I've figured out is that they know that no matter we won't leave or abandon them no matter what they do, so they feel they can do it towards us. We've told them that's not an excuse but doesn't change anything.
So we're literally stuck. Some days are worse than others, it can be really unpredictable.
I'm really sorry to hear what you and your mum are having to go through and that you're feeling scared in your own home *hug*
When this kind of behaviour comes from a child it's harder to know how to cope but it sounds like they may need some professional support - from what you have said their behaviour is unpredictable, violent and full of anger. It sounds like they might be having trouble managing their emotions and expressing themselves in healthy way and as a result you and your mum are taking the brunt.
There could be all sorts of reasons for their behaviour but it's important that you and your mum get some support.
A couple of options are YoungMinds Parentline - your mum could call for advice. The helpine is in a lot of demand but if you keep trying you should be able to get through to someone.
Family Lives have some good advice on Teenage violence at home that would be worth reading and you could share this site with your mum too if you felt able to: http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/behaviour/teen-violence-at-home/
They also have a helpline and webchat service you can use to get advice which I'd recommend giving a try.
Your mum could also speak to ther GP about what's going on and what options for help might be available for you all.
All three of you need support here by the sounds of it so I'm really glad you've reached out about this *hug*
"If your child is being aggressive in some situations only - say, in the home and not at school - then the good news is that they know what they are doing, they do have the capacity to control their behaviour, and so can change."
Which is exactly what's happening I find it worse that they know what they are doing. They're making a choice to do it.
This morning I got told it was my fault they shut me in the middle of the door way with a door because I was stood there and they didn't like it.
People tell me not to take it to heart. How can I not. :-(
Do you know if there was something that started all this off?
None of these are nice to experience because they both effect u for life and ur left with it for ever. It's horrible to think about it. I don't think the person needs to be older to Abuse u or Bully u. Anyone can do the same.
I wouldn't go by age or gender. I think that's sterotyping which isn't right. There is different types of Abuse I suppose but I've always thought of it being Physical where as Bullying I thought Mental. I don't know.
Is that right? X
From the information I read from something I think MikeS sent me is that Abuse and Bullying are effectivly the same thing but yes you are right htere are different types of abuse and I think bullying is like a type of it I guess.
And I agree with you it can be hard to get my point across sometimes because of the situation with this person being younger than me and female it makes it very hard to get believed... xx
It's okay niet don't be sorry it's just a awkward and tricky situation theres no straight answer to it, I have taken on board what you've said though thanks for even replying to the thread in the first place
I wasn't sure if I was right or not. I thought they both might mean the same thing. I see that they both have different ways of going out about it though I always thinked that Abuse was more physical and Bullying was more Mental.
How u doing now Jazzmaraz? You ok now?
Do u have anyone u can talk to?
I'm here if u wanna talk always
Hugs x
Just wanted to point out that emotional abuse is a thing, so bullying and abuse pretty much cover each other.
You ok Jazz?
I'm here if u wanna talk
Hugs x
I just wanted to pop by to offer you *hug*s
Hope you are doing okay?
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