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alone
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel like utter shit, have been crying so much all night. I've finally finished what I got told I had to do but despite how upsetting it was, I'm at a loss now. I hate being home alone all night. I feel sick. It's frustrating me that I'm not going to get much sleep again, if any. I hate responsibility. I hate feeling ill all of the time. I hate added stress. I want to sleep for a bit. I don't even know what's going on tomorrow so going to have to get up quite early to be awake for someone. I wish I could just rewind to before every single incident
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Ah, just want to give you a bug *hug*
Im really sorry to hear you are so upset and down - do you want to talk a little more about what you had to do - and why you found it so difficult?
You mentioned you don't like being home alone, is there a friend you could contact and ask them to come and stay with you - have a sleepover perhaps? Or you might want to stay with them? It's like a vicious circle, when you are stressed we end up not sleeping - and sometimes it feels like that's the only thing that will help! That can make it even harder to get to sleep! It sounds like you are in a very confusing and up-in-the-air kind of place right now - but we are here for you. You can always vent how you feel on here, and it may go a little way to making you feel a bit better.
If you feel like it, you could have a look at this page - it talks about things you can do to help you relax which might help :yes:
Hope you're ok - we're thinking about you :yes: Big hugs for you *hug*
I'm not feeling great right now. I think about everything in more depth as each hour goes by and I can't stand it. I keep working myself up into such a panic that I'll get the thing again where I feel like I literally can't and won't get breath in, which obviously makes me panic more, because gradually losing all oxygen would be a horrendous way to die.
I keep wanting to self harm on my stomach but I cannot make myself look at my stomach - I hate even the thought of it right now. I can't remember the last time I felt as fat as I feel now. I suppose that's all my fault so I've no right to feel so upset about it, but I don't know if I can cope with it.
I don't know if I can cope with how much worse everything might get from now until whenever I might have a breakdown, I guess. I'm waiting for it - I'm waiting for the day that I absolutely flip. I went somewhere alone the other day and I just sat on the floor at whatever time it was in the morning, and I didn't want to move, I just wanted to stay there forever.
Obviously I couldn't because I realised it was going to get busy at some point but I really want to do that - I want to go somewhere extremely quiet and I want to stay there and cry. Literally forever.
Thanks Kate *hug*
Really sorry to hear that things seem so bleak at the moment. It sounds as though everything feels too much to bear and that you just want a way out. Is that kind of what you're feeling? If so, then that must be horrible and overwhelming.
From your earlier posts in this thread, it's a little tricky to work out what's happening. Do you have some ideas about why you're feeling this way? Would it help to tell us a little bit more about what's going on?
The things you have said and the title of this thread suggest you're feeling pretty lonely right now. Not having a connection with other people can feel pretty bad and mean we spend a lot more time with our own thoughts. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it can mean we get trapped in our own thought processes - is that what it feels like a bit?
Just wanted to drop by and offer some hugs.
*hugs*
We're here if you want to chat about anything
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I don't know who to turn to or whether to even try anymore.
Its really good that u managed to find something what can help ie Mindfulness. I heard its suppose to be really handy and helpful. Maybe when u try it out then this could be a way of helping u to destress and cope. Have u thought about using herbel remedies to use on urself in the bath, at night on ur pillow, as a candle or in ur sleep by u? Im not sure about supplements for u to take, would the be any good? Could seeing ur GP help u to treat ur sleeping? Maybe they can provide with special products to use
Please dont feel like u have to cope with this on ur own. There are people who can help u but I don't know that well wether u are getting the support u need? I see nothing has changed so it maybe thinking way back to how u felt a year or two ago. Asking questions like What triggered u to have lack of sleepless night? What caused the Anxiety and Depression etc?
You may find it helpful to keep a mood diary on ur phone and keep a record on the days u feel at ur best and worst. Is this something what u can try? Also have u been in touch with the Organisation called Turn To You? There like a mental health organisation who are do one to one sessions on ways to cope with Anxiety and Depression all linked to the common factors u are experiencing at home and at work.
If u wanna find out more about them then u get in touch with me by PM. Please don't think that any of us are pressuring u to speak to someone as that's not the case. I do think that site I have given would be something new for u to try.
Let me know what u think? Xx
The other suggestions maybe more beneficial but u don't have to do anything u don't want. Although, I don't see how we can help u if u dont want the help? I know u dont mean any harm or anything but we do wanna help u.
I'm not sure what help ur looking for? I agree with what James said below.
I hope u find what ur looking for
Here if u wanna talk x
Guuuuys, doctors
I can relate to not wanting to use an other support website, It's okay too. We get comfortable and feel safe with one support network that its hard to adjust to somewhere new we want to use for support.
^ sounded better in my head.
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Sounds to me like we can't. It's good that u got people there for u and were here for u. I dont know what it is u want. I know u dont want help or advice but there's got to be something what ur getting help with which ur not saying. You mentioned Doctors. Well that's someone giving u advice and support? Why wouldn't u think about going with our advice two.
This thread seems to be the same as ur other threads. It's hard to help u when I feel like ur not being open but then u can open up to a doctor where as I didn't know u would. I'm confused what to say to u. I cant help u or anything apart from saying im thinking of u.
Sorry if this sounds hurtful to u as never intended to upset u but it seems to me that when I've tried helping u there's no way of getting through to u so I'm thinking I'm not the best person who can help u if u can't open up. Maybe u need someone on the boards who ur best friend.
Also @bananamonkey as I said already. That site I gave to Butterfly123 was only a suggestion and nothing more. You may be a bit confused to what I tried saying to her. I'm not saying she should go on another site as well but thought it would help as a suggestion. I see the site is helping her which is good but because I don't know what shes looking for I gave her a site where she could talk to someone and help her to know what shes looking for with help. I don't want to be horrible to u or anything but I think u got the wrong end of the stick.
Good Luck with everything Butterfly123 x
Your replies aren't helpful crazycat. I originally posted this thread because something had happened which had left me in a state - so why not carry on moaning on this rather than posting yet another new thread? I vent on here and that is that. I don't expect answers, I don't expect replies, I just vent. I don't expect my posts to be wasting your time because you don't even have to read them.
If I knew what I was looking for then do you not think I'd be trying to achieve it by now? You've no idea why I went to the doctors. You've no idea about anything really and as I said, I'm not exactly willing to share everything. So feel free to put me on your ignore list if my vents annoy you in any way.
Not great but whatever. Thanks for asking.
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
If you wanna chat I am here
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
How are you feeling now?
Everything is exhausting me.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Wanna chat?
Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
So sorry to hear that. Do you have any pain relief for the pain.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
What's been going on Bean? Were here for you *hug*
You mentioned you were in a fair bit of pain in your previous post to, how is the pain at the moment? Do the pain killers you're taking help at all?