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Is it wrong/selfish of me to ask him to quit smoking pot?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've fallen fast and hard for an amazing man, whom I also respect and admire. He inspires me to be a better person, just by how well he treats me, and he says it's the same way for him. There's only one problem. I am dead set against drug use, and he has been regularly using pot, and I don't know for how long. When he realized just how much I hate it, he said if I asked him to, he would quit. He felt that it was wasting his money, and it was a big risk because of the kind of career he wants, but all his friends/family smoke it and he used it for stress relief, so he never really tried to quit. Just backed off of it some. He said that meeting me has given him hope that he CAN get out of this, and live a better life. I though about it a couple weeks, and said yes, i'd like him to try to quit if he really does want to, but not to change himself for me. It doesn't work to change for someone else. He did quit, cold turkey. That day. I feel so guilty, seeing him go through withdrawal. I want to ease the stress and take his headaches away, but there's nothing I can really do. I know it's going to be really difficult, and he may re-laps. Was it wrong of me to ask something so difficult? What can I do to help make it hurt less?


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First of all, there is no such thing as pot withdrawal. It is not physically addictive so there are no shakes, or headaches or cold sweat or what have you. It can be, like everything else that you do frequently, mentally addictive (craving it), so I have my doubts that he feels as shitty as you describe here.

    Second of all, it's him who offered to quit as he apparently has his own reasons (waste of money, risks due to legal status), so I don't see how you are feeling bad for something he surrendered willingly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Spark,

    From what you've said above, it sounds as though you've talked about his drug use and how it made you feel- this sounds like it was a positive and helpful conversation for you both. You ask if it was wrong that you asked him to quit, as Strubble says above, he's identified the positives of quitting himself and so this may give him a foundation to build on as he works through this.

    You may find it helpfulto look at the FRANK website to answer any questions you may have about drugs and getting off drugs. From this, you may be in a position to talk about how you can help and support him in getting off drugs.

    Let us know how you get on.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Spark,

    Just wanted to check in to see how things were going? Let us know how you're getting on:wave:
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