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I hate my family - feeling frightened at home

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well, by family I mean my dad.

I can't even repeat to you how he hurt me yesterday. But I hate his guts. I wish he'd leave me alone. When I tell my counsellor what he did, he's going to be fuming because he knows how hard it is at home for me and my dad made me relive an experience that may have triggered an illness like PTSD, or dissociation. We're already trying to get to the bottom of the last trauma I suffered.

I woke up this morning in peace. My mum had slept in the same room as me overnight to make sure I'd be safe because I really wanted to attempt suicide. I had a good day for once...until he came home from work. He keeps invading my space and basically follows me around the house. I want to get away from him. Every time I see his face or just know he's there...I feel myself suffocating.

I need to get out. I have considered running away in the past. I have even considered calling the police on him because I think he may be a psychopath. No kidding.

I don't know what to do. He's evil and vile and he makes me sick. Please please help, I'm at the end of the rope.


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah fml...I was hoping I wouldn't be ignored this time, because this is possibly the most desperate I've been. :'(
    yay crying
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Al0neinmusic,

    You're certainly not being ignored. The boards can be quiet during the day and it can sometimes take a day or two before replies start to come in. We're not a crisis service but we will always reply as soon as we can *hug*

    I read your post just now and I can hear just how desperate you do feel :(

    It sounds as though things with your Dad are reaching a turning point for you and just being near him is making your feel extremely on edge and fearful of what he might do. It's not clear what he has done but if you feel unsafe in your own home then the police is a genuine option to consider.

    I feel reassured that you're able to talk to your mum and that she stayed with you when you were feeling suicidal. I'd encourage you to keep talking to her and also to use services like Samaritans or Papyrus if you need a listening ear that's non-judgmental and not so connected to the situation.

    Can I ask what your mum feels about your Dad and if she's aware of how fearful you are? If you do feel unsafe or threatened then as I said, contacting the police or Womens Aid could also be an option.

    I'm wondering if you need a break from home whether there is a good friend or close relative that you could stay with for a while so that you can have some space to work on getting the support that you need?

    From what you say you have a good relationship with your counsellor and feel able to tell them about what's going on. When are you next seeing them? If you're really struggling then would you feel able to contact them inbetween sessions at all?

    We're thinking of you and here to listen and help in any way we can but if you do feel at crisis point then we'd urge you to speak to your mum or your counsellor or to take yourself to A&E if the suicidal thoughts become overwhelming.

    You deserve to be able to work through your issues without this added stress *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm really sorry things are so tough for you :( I can totally feel the emotion you put through this thread... Its really sad to hear.

    If you ever feel unsafe, please call the emergency services. They are there to help you and keep you safe.

    Are you and your mum close? If so, do you reckon you could chat to her about the things you've mentioned here? I'm really glad that she kept you safe the other night when you was feeling so down. Its really good to hear.

    Don't forget, the boards are always here for you to offload if you need to. Sending lots of *hug*
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