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Rant about college - sorry guys

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am so so angry at the minute. I called college this morning because I'm not going in. At first I was going to lie to them and say I was ill but I knew my tutor (and college counsellor) would know different. So when I got through to the receptionist or whoever takes calls for reporting absences she's asked my name DOB etc then asked me why I wasn't going in. I told her it was because my anxiety levels were really high but I'd sent out an email to all my teachers telling them I'd do the work at the home. She turned round and says "is that it?". Is that it?! Are you for real??? Its clear that she's never suffered from high levels of anxiety before. What a bitch. What was she expecting me to say back to her, "oh how stupid of me, I'll just come into college having panic attacks and still do the work". Urg seriously pissed off. This just shows colleges (and schools) need more awareness not just on anxiety but mental health in general. I wonder how many other students from my college have college for similar issues and got the same response??

It makes me laugh because I'm hardly ever off college, and I think I've only ever taken one day off from college because of anxieties so they can't really complain. Yet people who have a bit of a sniffle (and I mean like just a sniffle, not a cold of anything) are allowed to go home with out any fuss or bother. Urg. Rant over.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And it just gets better. My tutors emailed me saying its not a valid reason for me to be absent and he wants to talk to me tomorrow.... Great!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It can be really hard for people to understand that taking a sick day for mental health reasons is just as valid as physical health and in fact anxiety and panic really do have physical symptoms which the college shouldn't dismiss.

    You know yourself best and if you're feeling really anxious then you've been really strong to do what you think is best to look after yourself and from what you've said you're not someone who misses a lot of college.

    It's understandable that this has really made you feel angry and frustrated - perhaps this meeting with the tutor could be an opportunity for you to explain how your anxiety and panic attacks have been affecting you and if there is anything the college could actually do to help?

    For example, a card that you can use should you need a break from a lesson or an agreed action plan to help you get the care you need if you do feel a panic attack coming on whilst you're at college?

    If it feels like they just don't understand panic attacks of anxiety on the whole then it might help to go armed with a bit of back up info? It's probably something that you could get some evidence or a note from your GP for as well..

    Look after yourself today and let us know how the meeting goes *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, that's why people need to have more awareness about how much it can affect people. I saw something on twitter the other day about it actually. Was quite interesting.

    I'm not even going to bother seeing him because I know exactly what he'll say. And he'll probably ring my carers. They think I'm poorly which isn't true but I don't like worrying them. Hate lying but its the best way to protect people sometimes.

    I am seriously thinking about going to doctors about it to be honest. Not sure what they can do but I've just had enough of it. This past week has been a nightmare with anxieties and panic attacks, mainly due to social situations etc. Never really suffered this badly with it before. I don't think this phone call I'm making today is making situations better either!

    Thanks Jo *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always turn up at work with severe depression and social and generalanxiety :'(

    How have you been otherwise?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear that
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi abecki.Have you managed to get yourself to the doctors yet?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not yet, no
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not easy you know...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whats stopping you...?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whats stopping you...?

    As Becki says, going to the doctors isn't at all easy, it is a very hard step to take and one you must feel completely ready for. Becki will go one day but we can't rush that, in the meantime we just need to try and support her as best as we can.

    I hope you're feeling okay today Becki *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry, I can't go to doctors just yet but I will do at soon. Just need to get my head in a better place.

    I've left college because it was totally pointless me being there. I didn't go into my lessons, was just sat in the library. Probably gonna get shouted at but oh well
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    :heart:

    It is totally normal to worry about going the doctors you don't have anything to be sorry for lovely. I am sorry to hear that your struggling.

    Is there somebody you can have a chat to about college who is in college like your tutor?
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've spoken to loads of people at college bout it but unless your physically ill, they don't see it as an 'excuse' for me to be off
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I know you mentioned about having a counsellor at college, could you talk to them, they may have a bit more understanding.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't see her until Wednesday
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Could you maybe see if you can have a chat with her before then. I know when I had counselling back in my college days I could text my counsellor to try and make an app to talk to her in between sessions. I don't know if it's possible but could be an idea for you. Remember we are all here for you on here.
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As Becki says, going to the doctors isn't at all easy, it is a very hard step to take and one you must feel completely ready for. Becki will go one day but we can't rush that, in the meantime we just need to try and support her as best as we can.

    I hope you're feeling okay today Becki *hug*

    :yes:

    Sorry to hear that you don't feel your tutor is going to be very understanding Becki. It's positive to hear that you're seeing the college counsellor this week though - this might be a good thing to talk through with them. They may even be able to find out on your behalf what the college's approach is on taking time off for anxiety related reasons and if there's anything she can do to support you and help your tutor to understand.

    If it comes from the counsellor it may hold more weight?

    You mention lying to protect people - do you feel able to tell us a bit more about that? What about protecting and looking after yourself? It sounds as though you are worried about your carers finding out about what's been going on?

    We're here for you Becki and it's important you take things at your own pace *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am not being horrible or anything.I only asked that so I caj see if i can say anything to help.Please dont take that tone with me as im really not being horribke at all
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am not being horrible or anything.I only asked that so I caj see if i can say anything to help.Please dont take that tone with me as im really not being horribke at all

    Nobody is being mean lovely - sorry if it came across like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could you maybe see if you can have a chat with her before then. I know when I had counselling back in my college days I could text my counsellor to try and make an app to talk to her in between sessions. I don't know if it's possible but could be an idea for you. Remember we are all here for you on here.

    She's super busy so wouldn't want to put any more work on her shoulders
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    :heart:

    Well you have us all who care about you lovely. I wish I could say/do more to help.

    *hug*
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    :yes:

    Sorry to hear that you don't feel your tutor is going to be very understanding Becki. It's positive to hear that you're seeing the college counsellor this week though - this might be a good thing to talk through with them. They may even be able to find out on your behalf what the college's approach is on taking time off for anxiety related reasons and if there's anything she can do to support you and help your tutor to understand.

    If it comes from the counsellor it may hold more weight?

    You mention lying to protect people - do you feel able to tell us a bit more about that? What about protecting and looking after yourself? It sounds as though you are worried about your carers finding out about what's been going on?

    We're here for you Becki and it's important you take things at your own pace *hug*

    They have literally nothing Jo. I asked last week when I saw her. She's also spoken to my mentor who then spoke to my tutor. He called the house on Friday night saying I hadn't been going to my lessons and stuff. Thanks for that! Just cause me even more shit.... Urg hate college.

    I don't like the thought of my carers knowing about stuff, especially Shelley. They would worry and its not fair on them.

    I don't need protecting. I wasn't protected as a child so I'm pretty sure I'll 'cope' now.

    Thanks for the hugs
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done for asking her last week, I'm sorry to hear he called the house and that it's been stressful for you. How did things pan out after that? Unfortunately colleges have certain procedures they often have to do things by the book without being aware of the impact at the other end :(

    I know he's not in your good books but I wonder about emailing him or finding a way to improve that relationship so that you can get him on side? If he sees you being proactive with him he may start to listen to where you're coming from. It's just an idea of course, I don't know what this tutor is like and for now you may still be too angry with him to consider that which is fair enough!

    From what you say, you weren't protected as a child so why should you expect or ask for any protection or care now? It's fine, you'll 'cope'.

    Hearing this I feel I want to help you see that the patterns of our childhood don't have to play out in our adult lives. You have a lot more awareness now and in fact your carers wouldn't be doing their jobs if they didn't worry about you, look out for you and do their best to support and protect you. In some ways by not telling them you're making their jobs a little harder as they can't be sure what's going on for you?

    I can hear that it's really hard for you to accept or allow this protection and care so I'm not in any way trying to put pressure on you to do things differently. It feels like you'd rather struggle on than bother anyone?

    Ultimately you're the expert on you and you need to work out a way through this that feels right for you. Just remember that you don't have to do this on your own *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, after he called one of the staff talked to me and said I shouldn't let things affect me and I shouldn't throw my education away... Blah blah blah. People just don't understand that its just not that easy. I wish it was but its not. When you're not feeling great emotionally, you don't want to be around anyone. Especially around people that don't want to be around me.

    Yeah that's a no go, sorry. Hes the sort of teacher that doesn't listen to you unless your in a specific category - if you know what I mean :)

    No because if they don't know what's going on then they will think I'm fine therefore won't have to do any chasing around after me etc. They've done loads for me while I've been living here. Now it's my turn to let them look after others

    Yeah definitely. Why should anyone put themselves out for me when its my fault I'm feeling this way
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know what to say that could help in any way but I wanted to drop in and try to remind you that none of this is your fault Becki, none of this will ever be your fault and that's a fact. The negative feelings are clouding reality for you so I'm going to tell you that from what I've seen, you're a hard working and passionate young girl, you're smart, you're incredibly kind and you have your whole future ahead of you, you honestly do, this is just a small glitch in the road.

    Hope you're doing okay today *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's okay, butterfly, I must have taken it that way????

    I agree.This is Definitely a small glitch.A VERY small glitch!
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    It's okay, butterfly, I must have taken it that way????

    I agree.This is Definitely a small glitch.A VERY small glitch!
    What do you mean when you say, a small glitch, a VERY small glitch! :s I dont think its needed with the bit very small glitch

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry if I've caused something - I'm not dismissing that this must be a huge thing for Becki to be going through and I really do understand and feel for her.

    I think it's worth all of us remembering that this is supposed to be a safe place for Becki to post when she needs and/or wants to :yes: This is obviously a very distressing situation for her and we need to respect that.
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Sorry if I've caused something - I'm not dismissing that this must be a huge thing for Becki to be going through and I really do understand and feel for her.

    I think it's worth all of us remembering that this is supposed to be a safe place for Becki to post when she needs and/or wants to :yes: This is obviously a very distressing situation for her and we need to respect that.

    I agree, sorry becki :heart:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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